Ringing in My Head, When You Broke My Chest
The clock's tired ticking echoed through the room, drowned out only by the thoughtful drumming of clawed fingers. Delphis scrunched up his eyes, gazing at the white and black pieces on the Go board. Across from him sat Sen, wrapped up tightly in a heavy wool blanket, watching his twin's face intently. His fatigued eyes glanced at Delphis's hands, twitching in an unsure manner on the oak tabletop.
"Are you going to make your move anytime soon?" he asked, adjusting the cover around him.
"Dagchyeo,"Delphis muttered. Shut up. "You know I can't concentrate on my moves when you talk."
"That's the point."
Delphis clicked his tongue in annoyance, only making his twin smile.
Muttering in a mix of Korean and Japanese, Delphis furiously tapped his clawed fingers, scanning the board. There were too many options, too many choices; no matter where he moved his piece, he'd be winning. And he didn't want to win. Not now, anyway. If he did come out victorious, that would only push his brother further into a state of weakness. Of course, Sen would never admit this; he was too prideful. Even with his eyes away from him, Delphis could see him shaking, struggling to keep his eyes open.
"I can see at least five different moves you could be making right now."
"Uh-huh. And I bet you'd have beaten me twice by now, too."
"Three times, actually," Sen smirked, "But who's counting?"
"You, it seems."
"Ah, maybe just a little, in that case."
Sen reclined back on the couch, huffing as he once more readjusted the blanket. He'd been getting so cold as of late. Of course, Delphis figured that it came with the territory of losing one's soul. Lately, however, he'd been getting scared. It had been a year since the deal, and ever since Sen had been deteriorating more and more frequently. At first, it had been little things: he would forget minor things, he would get sick every other month, and his temper would occasionally run away with him. But now? He couldn't wake up without forgetting who he was; even the slightest thing seemed to set him off, and he could barely walk without needing someone there to hold him up.
But Delphis was always there. He made sure he was. He was the reason Sen had done what he did. Delphis was the very cause he had given his soul for, and as much pain as he was in, Sen repeatedly told him he would make that same choice over again if he had to.
Closing his eyes to the sound of Delphis's tapping, Sen exhaled, fighting to stay awake.
Of course, that was part of it as well: Constant exhaustion. Even after sixteen hours of sleep, Sen still managed to awake tired even more drained than when he had closed his eyes.
He barely began to doze off when Delphis spoke.
"Oi, hyeongje." His voice made Sen slowly open his eyes while Delphis gazed at him with concern.
"Are you feeling okay?"
Sen rolled his eyes, grunting as he forced himself to sit up.
"I'm fine, Delphis." His voice came out angrier than he intended.
Of course, that was a complete lie; he hadn't been 'fine' for a long time.
"I was just checking," replied the mirror image before him, pitch heightening to indicate he meant no offense.
Turning to look at the clock, Delphis tucked a loose lock of grey hair behind his ear. 2:24 am. Tapping his thigh, he looked back at his brother, who was once again struggling to stay awake. He stood, reaching over to shake Sen's shoulder. He jumped, blinking rapidly before his eyes blearily focused on Delphis.
"What? Museun il-iya?"
"Nothing's the matter," the elder twin held up his hands in an 'I'm unarmed' gesture. "We've been at this for a while, so I'm going to make tea; do you want some?"
Sen processed the question, looking up and to the right before answering.
"Do we still have yuja-cha in the pantry," he asked, almost timidly.
Smiling, Delphis nodded, patting his twin on the back.
"Yuja-cha, it is, then!"
Sen smiled warmly, a worn look on his face.
"Gomawo, hyjeong."
Thank you, brother.
"Munje eobs-eo, gongjunim!"
As he walked away into the kitchen, he heard Sen snort.
"The only princess in here is you!"
Delphis stepped up to the pantry, chuckling to himself as he opened the door. Among the many jars of herbs and spices, there was one, in particular, he was after. On the bottom shelf, right next to the dried plums, was a jar filled to the brim with golden yellow fruit. Plucking it from the shelf with a graceful motion, the grey-haired man set it on the counter. The remaining ingredients were an easy find; as of late, he'd kept the gaggle of them close together for emergency purposes. Working at the speed of a whirlwind, he quartered the fruits, dropping them in a boiling mixture of honey and water. As he did, he couldn't help but smile, a forlorn look in his steel-colored eyes. This scene, the smell of the honey and citrus in the yuzu, it was more than familiar. It was painfully reminiscent of their mother. Every single time he or Sen fell ill, there would appear their mother like an angel with giant jars of yuzu tea. And now, she was gone. Dead and buried, and while her body remained, laid to rest in her homeland on the other side of the world, her soul had crossed the veil the year previous. It still hurt, even now.
From the living room, a series of coughs called him from the past, followed by the sound of something slimy dropping into a trashcan.
Delphis shook his head, long hair waving behind him like a stone waterfall. No more! Those were thoughts for another time, and especially far from now. What was important right now was Sen.
Fifteen minutes later, the kettle whistled, signifying it had completed its boiling. The steel-eyed man removed it from the stove top and turned off the burner, grabbing two cups away from the rack on the counter.
He made his way back to the parlor, where Sen still sat, mouth covered by a canary-yellow handkerchief. He looked even paler than he had before, and the dark circles under his eyes drew out the glassy tears formed from expectorating whatever material it was from his lungs.
Delphis set one of the ceramic cups before his twin, filling it with the tea.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, "I couldn't find the honey. I didn't mean for you to wait so long."
Sen removed the cloth, smiling at his brother understandingly.
"Don't worry," he croaked, voice hoarse and fatigued.
"Tōzen watashi wa shinpai shite imasu," Delphis shot back, setting his cup on the table with a sharp clacking noise. "It's my job to worry about you!"
His twin made a drawn-out noise of dismissal, waving one hand weakly.
"You worry what the beetles think of the boots you crush them in."
Delphis clicked his tongue in response. He looked down at the board, intent on continuing the game. But, something didn't look right on the board. Something was out of place. Narrowing his eyes, Delphis leaned over the board.
One of the pieces had been moved, and right into a winning position.
Delphis turned his head up to glare at his brother.
"Why did you move my piece, Sen?" he asked, an incredulous tone in his voice.
"I got tired of waiting for you to make a winning move," replied his twin, peering into the depths of his teacup with a haggard look.
"I am perfectly capable of doing that." Delphis moved the piece back to its original space. "Without your help. It makes me feel like you're pitying me."
At this, Sen scoffed, pausing his reach for one of the black pieces.
"Oh, that's funny! Because 'pitying me' is all you've been doing this entire game!"
The younger twin forcefully put the ceramic cup down, an affronted flout on his features.
Had he known the whole time?
Too prideful to admit his true intentions, Delphis returned the sneer, throwing his hands up.
"Look, I don't know where you're getting that idea, Sen, but I have been playing honestly."
"'Shōjiki'? Is that what you call it?" The sickly mirror image bared his teeth. "You call making the wrong moves on purpose out of pity for me honesty?!"
"I haven't-"
"Damare!" Shut up!
Delphis closed his mouth, thin lips forming a tight line as Sen continued.
"Delphis, this needs to stop! Y-You're treating me like I'm so fragile that I can't take losing a stupid game of Go!"
"I don't think you're fragile!"
"Then why do you do it?! I'm not an invalid, Delphis! I--"
All at once, Sen fell silent. His once-angry face became unreadable, and his breath hitched. He covered his mouth with one hand, the other clutching his stomach as his eyes went wide. Slowly, Delphis stood up.
"Sen?"
The younger twin blinked rapidly, coughing into his hand. Multiple times he tried and failed to speak, hacking as he reached for the golden square of fabric to cover his mouth.
He wheezed. Another onslaught of violent carking and retching caused him to double over, his body urging him to reject whatever it was that was trying to get out. Delphis rounded the game board, going to stand by his brother's side.
"Yameru." Stop.
Delphis froze at the command, hands hovering in the air beside his brother. Outside, another wave of thunder shook the house, followed by the livid pattering of rain.
"Stop what?"
Sen muttered the word over and over again, shivering as he continued to choke. Delphis reached further for his brother, gently placing his hand on Sen's back. Instantly, the younger twin recoiled, staggering to his feet. His thigh hit the table harshly, sending the teacups overboard. The liquid inside dripped onto the carpet with a scalding noise.
Still covering his face, Sen walked forward on trembling legs, nearly tripping when his legs caught in the fallen blanket. Delphis followed, attempting to gain a hold of his brother, but each time he tried, the younger twin moved away.
"What's the matter with you," pleaded Delphis, "Sen, tell me!"
The younger twin fell to his knees, just short of the foyer, heaving. He hawked, convulsing as he gasped for air. The elder twin knelt beside him, wrapping an arm around his back. Briefly, Sen's hand found his free one, gripping tightly enough to cut off his circulation. Delphis pulled him closer, rubbing his back as Sen gave a final retch and a cascade of black blood flowed from his mouth and between his fingers. Another convulsion and more of the inky substance pooled on the tile floor, staining it ebony.
No more than a second had passed when Sen, still trembling, pushed Delphis away and stood. Leaning against the wall, he started towards the front door.
"Sen!"
Immediately, Delphis was on his feet, grabbing onto his brother's shoulder and forcing him to turn around. Delphis's blood ran cold.
A black film covered Sen's eyes, his pupils contracting in terror. All up his neck and face were dark veins, pumping the black blood the bubbled from the corners of his trembling lips.
Only once it Sen had realized the action that was taken that he moved.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Sen hissed, swiping a taloned hand at Delphis and sweeping one leg under him. Suddenly, despite his frail visage, one kick was all it tool for him to topple his brother. The elder twin hit the floor, dropped like a ragdoll, gasping for air. He coughed, rolling onto his side and scuffling to his feet.
Barreling out of the front entrance, Delphis caught sight of something moving through the rain.
"SEN!"
The figure froze, turned, and stumbled in the opposite direction.
The elder twin took off in hot pursuit, screaming his brother's name over the roaring of the thunder. His lungs burned, feet pounding the muddy ground as he ran. Rain furiously beat his skin, cold and unforgiving as it scraped against his body. The earth itself seemed to swallow his feet, hellish intent to drag him down, dripping his ankles and pulling. And still, he ran on.
Lightning flashed all around, nearly blinding him as he drew closer and closer to Sen. The heat of the strikes spread through the air and ground, traveling up his legs, dilating his veins.
For Sen, it was enough to send him straight to the ground.
Calling his brother's name once more, Delphis enclosed upon him, the dirt and muck nearly trapping his feet.
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
The shriek emanated from Sen's body. But it wasn't Sen's voice. And yet, Delphis froze.
"Sen--"
The shadow shuddered, retching on the ground. Through the crashing of the rain, Delphis heard something splash onto the muddy field. Slowly, he stepped forward, hand held outward.
"Sen, I don't know what's wrong with you, but please, let me help you!"
A laugh drifted from Sen's body, tired and broken.
"You can't do anything. I'm already gone."
The words struck Delphis like a knife.
"No! No, you're not! Sen, please--"
"Delphis, go back inside."
There, in those words, was Sen's real voice. The younger twin staggered to his feet, shivering, black blood down the entire front of his torso.
"No, I'm not leaving you out here alone."
Barely seven feet away, Delphis could make out the faint lines of tear tracks beneath the rain. He watched as Sen's arms crossed over his chest, vigorously shaking his head. Sparks of uncontained magic flew from his hands.
"Stop it, stop it!"
The elder twin kept walking, his hand still outstretched for Sen to take. His mirror image hissed again, backing away on shaking legs. He screamed, his voice distorted once more.
"STAY AWAY!"
Delphis shook his head, each movement bringing him closer and closer to his brother. Sen didn't move. His chest heaved, and he clawed at his skin, muttering and mumbling. The elder twin smiled, reaching his hand further towards his mirror image.
"It's going to be okay. Just take my hand."
Once more, Sen's head twitched violently from side to side, and his hands rose up to cover his head. More and more magic seeped through the younger twin's fingers.
"Stop it, stay away!"
They were barely two feet apart, Delphis's drenched hand still held out for Sen.
Above them, the sky shook, a tidal wave of thunder flowed through the air. Instantly, the younger twin reacted, screeching and doubling over. Without thinking, Delphis's arm shot forward, latching onto one of Sen's hands.
"DELPHIS, STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Sparks collected in Sen's palms, growing into full-fledged flames in the span of a heartbeat. Delphis had no time to react. Sen viciously pulled away, eyes frantic.
"Sen, wait--!"
It was too late.
The words had barely escaped his mouth before a bright golden light consumed his vision, hitting him square in the chest. For a moment, everything went white, and he could no longer hear the storm. All he could do was feel.
Red hot pain blossomed in his chest, the flames searing the skin. It burrowed deep into his ribs, stealing the air from his lungs. Seeping inside his bones, the scorching flames wrapped around his heart. Blood pumped wildly through his body as the white faded away.
The last thing he saw before it all faded to black was a pair of eyes just like his, colored with pain and fear, and stained with tears.