#wtwfl

[fluerelux]

I tried to rip off all my armor for you

Could I break down the walls I built

To let someone in to know my truth

I spent my life getting ready for war

Battling myself and my demons

Didn’t know which one I hated more

I wanted to shed every piece of me

To relentlessly be known

And to let you finally see

But it’s always been a lost cause

You only see yourself

That’s all that ever is and ever was

I’ve decided to stop becoming undone

And stop falling into hands

Who lack the simplest form of love

I just wish you could see the missing link

Why everything you touch turns to dust

And why you can’t help but be scared of me

We all learn our lessons in the end

To each their own

It’s your story to mend

Guess I’ll see you in another life, my friend

[fluerelux]

Weird to think about how much we’ve grown

Through the years and my tears and al the fears we grew out of and into

How have we known each other this long

We know each other’s favorite songs

In every season, every winter spring and fall

Since I was barely past 21

I used to know you like the back of my hand

In and out of strangers

We’ve remain attached like an almost breakable strand

I understand

The way life unfolds

And how our own paths shake us up and we have to guess where we land

I think I’m nostalgic

And a little bit homesick

For you? My old self?

For a life I don’t have to second guess it?

I’m feeling again, maybe too much

I long for familiar hands where my heart can recall the touch

Maybe I’m too much

Maybe I’m too much

[fluerelux]

do you ever keep people in your life as an act of self harm?

do you stay because you love them?

or because you hate yourself?

[fluerelux]

i truly believe that i’ve achieved everything that i’ve wanted to achieve simply because i do not allow doubt to stain my thoughts

[fluerelux]

i used up the entire can of red spray paint first

it reminded me of you

i took it from my art box and shoved it in a backpack

hours later, found myself scrawling red across walls

i was shook and felt empty, just like the can in my hand

you took everything from me 

and this act of rebellion felt like taking a stand

you’ll never know i did this

you’ll never see those words

but at least my love will be noticed

by the universe and the birds