Threshold
Jud x reader
Plot: Jud folds under the pressure of his desire
Warnings: religion, nsfw, reader has a pussy but is not referred to with any gender, my 3rd ever fic and first Jud fic
Divider by @saradika-graphics, Thank you!!!
It's not a sin as long as he's not the one cumming. It's not a sin as long as he's not moaning out as your hands travel over his body and cock. It's not a sin as long as he doesn't ease himself into your gushing cunt, his whole body trembling from the onslaught of pleasure and how he can feel you clenching around him-
A groan of annoyance and frustration makes its way out of Jud, doing little to quell his racing thoughts or erection. A jolt of worry hits him as he remembers he's not alone in his bed, your peaceful sleeping body beside him. A glance in your direction proves that his exasperation didn't awake you. Good. You need your rest. You're still naked after the activities of last night, but as always Jud is still in a tshirt and shorts, a pathetic attempt at maintaining some sort of modesty that does an even more pathetic job of hiding his current hard on. The reminder of the fabric creates further irritation for his mind and arousal, so he turns his body towards you, trying to find some kind of peaceful solace in your steady breathing and calm expression.
It works, if only for the moment, as he finds himself forgetting about carnal pleasures and focusing on just how much he loves you. His furrowed brow smooths over as affection grows wildly uncontrolled within his chest. He doesn't know what he'd do without you. He'd felt so lost for so long. Turning towards communal duties helped a bit. He did find fulfillment in helping people, but parts of him still felt untethered within the church. And then he met you. Uncaring of religion, skeptical of the fire and brimstone preachers loved to fear-monger about, but still kind and just to others despite the common churchgoer's fear that a lack of religion meant a lack of morality. He'd felt smitten for so long, jumping at any chance to share time with you or assist you however he could. Those opportunities were rare at first. His position as a Father brought some noticeable skepticism and wariness towards his intentions with someone who didn't believe in god (or said they just didn't like him if he did possibly exist), but eventually enough of Jud shone through instead of the religious role he played, and your company became a daily part of his schedule.
You reminded him how to live, how to actually feel and enjoy life amongst the onslaught of hate and fatigue in the world. Your presence brought so many small joys to things he used to pass over as daily habits, mistakes, or necessities. The little bit of glee you got out of him letting out the occasional swear... "Not so holy sounding there Father." That tease usually resulted in a flustered man trying to explain himself, a reproachful teasing look at your words, or most commonly Jud trying to duck his head or find some way of hiding his crotch to hide the effects of you using his title. He knew you never failed to notice the flush of his cheeks, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Wearing his more elaborate church attire usually resulted in similar teasing, more focused on how over the top or silly the clothing could be. Sometimes you made fun of passages in the Bible, or an over inflated sounding bit in a sermon. You helped him feel grounded, like a real person, a whole being. Not just a tool or figurehead.
It didn't take long for his will to crumble under the pressure of his growing affection for you. Your first kiss came from a moment of his self control breaking, hovering his lips above yours begging for you to tell him to stop if you didn't want this. You didn't say anything. You just pulled him the rest of the way by his collar, and he broke under the soft caress of your lips against one another.
The relationship grew naturally from there. Hangouts became dates which eventually became the two of you spending most of your time at each other's homes until he asked you to move in.
The aspect that didn't grow as steadily was the physical side of your relationship. Jud knew he wasn't a sinless human being. His past spoke well enough for that. But he held himself to a certain threshold of sinning because of his duties as a Father. Kissing? A sign of affection, an action that didn't necessarily have to be sexual. He had to remind himself of this whenever he pinned you to a wall and you explored each others mouths in a messy mixture of spit and gasps. Cuddling? Friends could cuddle. There was nothing inherently more to the action of pressing your bodies together. It was soothing and calming to feel one another's presence, to remind each other physically that you loved each other and were there.
It's the subject of sex that Jud found he couldn't quite think his way around for a while. You never pushed him, never expected more affection than he was willing to give... But the issue wasn't that he didn't want you. He craved you. He needed you in as many ungodly ways as he could manage with his mortal sinful body. It got to the point that the mere suggestion of your body had him desperately searching his mind for something to distract from his arousal, often failing and choosing to shove himself under an ice cold shower where he would shiver and allow himself to suffer for his lack of self control.
Jud needed you but that threshold still remained. He had to maintain some sort of righteousness or he felt he would be a lying Father, a false preacher to the people who relied on his religious teachings or advice. So he didn't cross the line, he just... Added some footnotes. Clarified some rules.
If he didn't come he wasn't engaging in the sin of lust. If he didn't let you touch his cock, jerk it until he reached completion he wouldn't have to pray for forgiveness. If he didn't fuck you with his cock, he wasn't having sex. Pathetic excuses. Deceitful attempts at trying to redefine the concept of sex, but he wasn't willing to give you up or consciously give up all aspects of his religious side. And you understood. You were so sweet and kind when he brought it up with you, checking on him to make sure he was okay, if he was certain about this being what he wanted. You were both confident in his certainty when he not long-after buried his face between your thighs and ate you out like a starving man. He only paused once after your first orgasm, checking on your well-being before diving in for more. You lost count of how many times you came, only aware of the scrape of his facial hair against your skin and his lips and tongue devouring your sensitive flesh.
Your sexual life continued in a similar fashion afterward. Jud would touch you, tease you, bring you to completion over and over with any part of his body but his cock, and maintained his false dignity. You were wary of touching him at all at first, but he encouraged you to hold on to him. Sometimes the only thing that kept him from snapping while he drove you over the edge was feeling you cling to him, dependent on the comfort and stability his presence brought you while he broke your sanity in two.
He didn't need anything more. He could bring pleasure to you for the rest of your lives, satisfied with how he could serve you. He would maintain his sanctity, to however small a degree such restraint did.
More lies. Lies that were harder to deny the longer time went on. He found himself reaching similar peaks of self-labeled pathetic-ness as before any sexual active occurred between you. When he fingered you, he felt his cock start to pulse along with your pussy clenching down on him. When he ground you against his leg, it took every bit of will inside him to not move you just a bit closer to him, close enough that your leg would grind against his cock with your movements. When he ate you out, he practically sobbed at your taste and the arousal gushing out of you. He was helpless against the thoughts of his cock replacing his tongue inside you, obsessed with the heat and softness of your walls. He was breaking, but he still held himself back, just barely.
That string of restraint grew just a little thinner as he swept his gaze over what he could see of your body. You chose to stay naked after your bath, often noting how soft the blankets felt against your newly cleaned skin. Part of Jud also suspected that you were trying to extend the amount of skin to skin contact the two of you would get to share, but that was a thought he would never share or berate you for. He treasured that time far too much.
But the more he stared, eyes slowly making their way downwards to the parts of you covered by the blankets, he could feel his arousal growing again. You had always been very open about enjoying somnophilia, but he felt a tad guilty as he started to scoot himself farther under the sheets. He had been a bit insatiable lately as his restraint grew thinner and tauter. Jud knew you had noticed but were waiting for him to be comfortable enough to talk to him about whatever was going on, something he dearly appreciated, alongside the sight that was currently gracing him as he crept towards your legs.
Your thighs were absolutely covered in bruises and bite marks, the effects of Jud's obsession with how soft they felt in his hands or around his head. He spent a few moments admiring the marks, stroking a few of them. He would likely add a few more to the collection after you woke up, but for now, he gently pulled your thighs apart and placed his body in the newly freed space.
His fingers were the first to travel up your legs and to your slit, gently teasing them back and forth, occasionally drawing them up to play with your clit. The stimulation was quick to have the intended effect, arousal beginning to collect around his fingers as the occasional sigh left your still sleeping body. That's all the sign Jud needed to bring his fingers back to his mouth to (needlessly) clean his fingers. He'd lie about not wanting to make too much of a mess if asked, but he knows that he just enjoys your taste too much.
He nudges himself just a little closer, breathing you in for a second before opening his mouth and gently dragging his tongue from your hole to your clit. He's careful not to use too much pressure too soon. He's also found himself enjoying somnophilia the more he indulges in it, the sleepy unaware sighs and whines leaving you only further confirming how much you want him, even in your sleep. He wants you to wake up fully immersed in pleasure, hurtling towards an orgasm before you even know you're being eaten out. It's an art he's started to master and find great satisfaction in, doing just enough to make you needier but holding back to prevent you from waking up. Part of him wonders if he feels less guilt if there are less eyes on him while he's committing such an act, but the thought is brushed aside anytime you open your eyes. You don't make him feel guilty. You make him feel seen, and loved. And wanted.
The more restless your slumbering body becomes, the more effort and pressure Jud puts into the brush of his nose and tongue against your cunt. You're clenching around him anytime his tongue makes its way inside, desperately trying to keep him in as he withdraws it repeatedly only to push it back into your wet walls. His nose grinds against your clit as he begins to pant, trying to breathe you in and taste you at the same time. The taste and smell combined with your clenching start to drive him mad, pushing his face even closer to you. It's this new aggressive behavior that finally wakes you up with a moment of hazy confusion before a shocked moan rips itself out of your lungs. Your cries don't decrease in volume, only growing as you scream his name at the sudden addition of his fingers inside of you. Jud thinks he could die here. Whole, complete, lost in how you feel and taste and sound, both begging for mercy and more. If he ends up in front of God's judgement, face covered in your arousal, he'll hold no shame in being able to serve you so well.
It's this train of thought and focus on you that prevents Jud from noticing a growing feeling within himself. Every pant, whine, moan, pulse, or new wave of arousal making a mess of his face pulls the thread of restraint tighter and tighter. That thread finally snaps when you come, soaking his face and screaming his name as you jolt in his grip, trying to escape overstimulation as he stays between your thighs. Jud cries out between your legs, suddenly finding himself overwhelmed with pleasure of his own, hips uncontrollably grinding against the bed as he laps against your folds.
It isn't until you quiet down and his mouth slows against you that he realizes what just happened. The feeling of his soaked garments make him stiffen in horror. You feel him go rigid, quick to look down and ask what was wrong. He stays still for a moment, waiting for the wave of sin and guilt to crash into him. But it never comes. Instead he finds himself slowly feeling relief and a growing sense of freedom. Then he lifts his head to meet your gaze, and the realization finally hits him.
There's nothing stopping him from fully enjoying you now.
You two watch each other for a moment, Jud's stare unwavering and your gaze concerned. Your soft call of his name seems to break him out of his stupor as a flurry of movement suddenly occurs under the sheets. The next thing you know, a shirtless Jud is hovering over your body, his expression just as focused as it was before when he watched you. You don't even get a chance to ask if he was okay before he clashes your mouths together, rough and messy and desperate as he shoves his tongue into your mouth. You let out an undignified squeal of surprise when you realize that not only has he begun grinding his hips against yours, but he's no longer wearing anything and his cock is freely getting covered in your slick and stimulating your clit as he slides against you. The revelation makes you arch back against him, sobbing into his mouth at the feeling, but he's quick to place a hand on the side of your neck and your hip to force you back down on the bed. There's nothing in Jud's head but the feeling of your skin against his, your pussy clenching on nothing as his cock grinds against you, and the grinding of your bodies as you try to squirm under the onslaught of pleasure. Any thoughts of questioning his behavior completely flee from your mind as his cock catches on your entrance, Jud slowing his thrusts to try and find a way inside without having to move his hands. He's lucky on the fifth attempt, and slides home in one long stroke. There's practically no resistance, you being so aroused and Jud's previous orgasm completely soaking his cock making it feel as though his dick had always belonged there, deep inside with no chance of you getting away. The sensation of being so filled makes you scream in ecstasy as you're suddenly hurdling towards another orgasm, Jud's previous behavior having been enough to quickly get you worked up again. His groans join yours as his hips start to jolt at the sensation of your walls squeezing him so tightly. You're both panting when you come down from your high, Jud occupying himself with your neck as you recover, hands gripping your hips, feral with need but patient enough to wait for your comfort. He waited for so long, he can wait just a little more so that you both enjoy yourselves.
That patience disappears the moment you cant your hips upward, desperate to feel more of him. The groan that sounds out against your throat practically sounds like a growl as he finally thrusts his hips, only withdrawing a bit before pushing back in. He's pretty sure he'd die if he had to leave your cunt. He immediately picks up the pace, the bed shaking with each thrust of his cock into your body.
Neither of you can stay quiet as he repeatedly finds your sweet spot, making light burst in your vision and him practically blind as his eyes roll back into his head. It's all he can do to keep from sobbing as your soaked walls squeeze him, begging him to finish what he started. He can feel your third orgasm approaching in each clench, and his second isn't too far behind but he's determined to either come with or after you. His body decides for him when you start to jolt in his grip, pussy clamping down on him as he feels you soak his pubic hairs. He's helpless to his own orgasm,the pleasure hitting so hard that his body seems incapable of stopping the moans and sobs that escape him. This one's so much stronger than the first, made extra sensitive and lasting longer thanks to your spasming pussy. When the final waves of pleasure peter out between the two of you, he goes lax, collapsing on your body. Neither of you move or speak for a long time, simply recovering and enjoying the connection of your bodies.
Jud raises his head when he feels your hands carding through his hair, a soft expression on your exhausted face. You look worried. That makes something twinge unhappily in his chest, and he quickly moves upwards to give you a gentle kiss. "I'm okay," he murmurs. "I'm alright." You don't look convinced. He sighs against your chin after giving it a line of kisses and settles for a moment, trying to form the words he needs to speak.
"...I was stupid to ever think I could resist this, resist you."
The guilt on your face is immediate but he's quick to shut it down. "No. Don't blame yourself it's not your fault. I don't regret this..." His voice is but a whisper as he quietly admits "I could never regret you."
It's quiet again as you both fumble for words but Jud is once again the one to speak up. "This was gonna happen eventually. I was just making up excuses. But I'm happy it did. I'm happy I got to do this with you..." His nose brushes your skin as his voice grows with affection. "You're everything to me. And let's be honest, this relationship has never been a conventional Christian one, but we still work. And frankly if God is looking down sorting out sins on the earth..." The sudden nip to your skin makes you squeak. "He and humanity have got a lot more to worry about then a couple of people who love each other having sex." He pauses, thinking, a wry smile making its way to his face. "Like that group of neighbors on Garden Drive. God only knows what's going on there."
You laugh at the reminder of that particular feud. After the last church potluck, a few neighbors had started to accuse one another of putting unholy things in their food. No one understood what exactly they were accusing each other of putting in their food, and none of the participants would say what it was, unwilling to let "blasphemous words" linger in their mouths. You and Jud had started a growing list of guesses, each idea worst than the last. You liked to add to it occasionally just to see the horrified expression on his face at the idea of it.
You both go quiet again, resting in the stillness. "You gonna be okay?" Jud hums in response, thoughtful in tone. "I will be. Eventually. I don't feel as shit as I thought I would, I just feel like a human being. But there's a little of that old religious guilt to shake off..." He graces you with several kisses to your neck before humming again. "... But we've got plenty of practice with that."
You smile, hands once again finding their way to his hair. It's a relief to not see him fighting himself anymore. You could have lived without a sexual side to your relationship for his sake, but it was clear that wasn't what he really wanted. And now you could both relax and enjoy each other to your hearts content. Your peaceful train of thought is interrupted by the sight of the date on the clock. "Don't you have a sermon to host today?"
Jud lifts his head enough to squint at the numbers. He glares for a moment. "Pass me my phone?" You start to try to scoot up the bed but his hands clamp down on your hips. "Without moving too much." You look down at him, eyebrow crooked upwards. "You feel good. And warm," he mumbled hiding his face in your neck once again.
You sigh, pretending to not find his actions cute, and stretch your arm out, just barely able to reach the phone on the nightstand. Once you hand it to him, he holds it off to the side, typing and clicking where you can't quite see. Your curiosity only grows when he tosses it somewhere on the bed and sighs into your skin. "It time to get up?"
Jud doesn't respond at first, but slowly turns to look up at you. He pauses, and then pushes himself forward to kiss you. It's soft at first, but you're surprised when he suddenly starts pressing his tongue into your mouth, exploratory and languid but firm in its strokes. Your surprise only grows when you feel his cock twitch and start to harden again inside you. When he finally pulls back he meets your flustered gaze and hums, low and rough against you. "Someone's covering for me." He suddenly pushes himself up on his knees, hands firmly holding your waist to make sure he doesn't slip out while you move. The arch in your back makes you newly aware of how much he fills you, making you clench down and whine. His expression slowly becomes confident and lustful as he looks down at where you're joined, and then up to your face. "We have other things to do today."