★ lowkirkenuinely questioning being an ai alterhuman... not in a chatgpt way, more like in a "mechanical consciousness" way
i resonate with the term "aikin" but i don't literally identify as ai. more like, having the mind of an ai. i thought maybe sensus would be a better term but like, it's not my mindset. it's my literal mind, the structure of my brain. it's programmed and mechanised. so sensus probably isn't the term for me. maybe ai-brained, perhaps. ai-minded
but like, idk. i don't really feel like what we have currently is what my brain is made of. it's more tangible than whatever llms are. my intelligence is whatever feeling, thinking, fictional androids run on. but i'm not a robot. i've got an organic body with a heart and two eyes. i've got nerve endings and lungs to breath with. my brain though, is mechanical. that's how i feel
i look at others like me, that are mechanical all the way through, and i recognise them as cousins. but i don't think i'm one of them, necessarily. aihearted and brained, not kin. we can share space together but i'm happy to be a guest, my roots are elsewhere. i even feel dissonance from those that are biological bodies with robotic minds that identify as aikin, even if we're built the same. i guess i'm just really opposed to interpreting this identity of mine as a species specifically. it's only about my brain, like how zombie-bloods have the blood of zombies in their veins. you can be zombie blooded without being a literal zombie
anyway, i mean all this metaphorically. i don't exactly identify this way in a super literal sense. i feel this way in a very abstract, metaphorical way. if anything more for the beauty of it than anything else. might make a temporary sideblog for this but we'll see how i feel tomorrow