Feb 14, 2015
Is it a coincidence that Valentine was the saint of love and plague? Doubt it.
So next time you buy your sweetheart flowers, consider how great a package deal they would be with some bees. Then when she blames you for her being stung a million times, remind her that it's the thought that counts and she should be grateful you got her anything at all. This way, she'll know right away that you're an emotionally manipulative jackass and won't have to find out a decade down the road after everything goes to shit.
