whenever life gets you down - keeps you wearing a frown &the gravy train has left you behind when you're all out of hope - down at the end of your rope &nobody's there to throw you a line...
I'm so sorry, I had to. I know that in this time of mourning, Clia would send you all something as ridiculous and stupid as that song, simply because there's a chance it would bring a smile to your face. She was always doing that... Going out of her way to make people happy. If she didn't have words she'd send funny stuff; if nothing would help she was always there to lend an ear and just be there.
Yeah, this post is gonna be rambling. Clia deserves all the words, in my opinion. I'm gonna take you on a walk through our friendship.
I first met Clia in the second semester of our fifth grade year. I had just switched elementary schools because of a move and a zone change. That was back when she was going by Catherine - due to her middle name and the fact that no one knew how to pronounce her first name. So we immediately giggled when we realized we had the same name. I remember that face perfectly - she had a tooth missing and her laugh was just as infectious back then as it was later in life. She has those great dimples, am I right? So basically from then on we were attached at the hip. People literally called us "the Catherines" until high school.
We had our ups and downs... What friendship doesn't? She pissed me off; I pissed her off. But I know on my side... I could never stay mad at her. One look at that dumb stupid face and I was smiling, wanting to punch her and hug her all at once. I've punched a lot of people in my life but never Clia, and man, that's saying something about my self-restraint. And her powers of cuteification.
We had a lot of firsts together. Obviously hearing her speak to her family was my first time hearing Greek. My mom and I took her to see her first movie (because her parents are shits but I'm trying to stay away from the negatives here) - it was The Incredibles, and Clia was incredibly freaked out throughout the adventure. Seriously, she was babbling in a strange Greek-English mixture from the time we stood in line for tickets to the time we left the theater, and to this day she's always had a fondness for that movie. We started band together, played the trumpet for the first time together, went to a theme park for the first time together. We were each others' first kisses, just to 'see what it was like.' She was there for my first breakup and I was there for hers; we were each others' first calls when we each lost our virginity.
We were together through the best times - both getting accepted to our favorite college... Going to see Michael Bublé in concert... When she got to go to Italy, I was the one she Skype called. We got our braces off together, on the same day. I'd sneak over to her house and she'd sneak out and we'd take her horses out for midnight horseback rides through town.
Some of the stuff I remember is just stupid little stuff. When we'd spend the night together (like... all the time) and she would try to paint my toenails, but I'd make faces at her and she'd giggle and get paint all over my toes. Or when we'd be trying to take FCAT in the same room (Floridians know what I mean) and we'd just make each other laugh way too much. I remember having to explain to her how to pronounce the word "xylophone" because she was super confused about the x at the beginning.
We were with each other through the worst of times. My first dumb breakup. When she broke her femur in New York. When my parents were killed in a car crash. When she broke her back and the surgery got fucked up. When she was diagnosed with cancer - she was 17 - and went through chemo, and subsequently we were happy again when she went into remission. When she found out her boyfriend had been cheating on her (yes, I punched him in the face). When I got hit by that drunk driver and lost my ability to speak (Broca's Aphasia is a lot of fun). She visited me so much and brought me Chipotle and took me places and wouldn't let me sulk. And I was with her through this. Through the cancer coming back and the... Problems toward the end.
And through all the memories, good and bad, Clia was a star. A ray of light, a ball of happiness, all the clichés you can think of. She always cheered me up and kept me from being reckless - because OH was I reckless back in the day. She was always looking out for others, trying her best to notice when they were sad and help them cheer up. Yeah, she had her moments, she snapped... But with someone who's been through so much (and I didn't even write anything about her home life, because I could write a ranting book about that shit)... Can you blame her if she got overwhelmed?
Clia was and is a beautiful soul. One of the things she'd been telling people lately was to forget her, to just let her fade away if remembering her would make them sad. Well I say fuck that. Just remember the good times. The times she made you laugh because she was being an idjit, or the times she cheered you up. Maybe it was with kind words, maybe with baby ducks (posted here because she would want me to post them)... Just remember her happily. Because she deserves that. She deserves for people to... I don't know. See a baby duck and think of her. I know I'll never watch certain movies without thinking of her, or paint my nails or hear Phantom of the Opera or read Stephen King or Game of Thrones or watch SPN... Basically at every turn of my life I'll be thinking of Clia. But I'm okay, because they'll be happy memories.
I know we'll all be sad for a while. I know it's hard to lose someone so genuinely amazing. She was - and IS - my best friend. This hit me hard. Harder than anything else. But I'll be okay because she would WANT me to be okay. And she wants all of you to be happy.
So I'll leave you with a few of her favorite things. Here's a song she loved. (It's in Greek). Her favorite Greek comfort food. (It looks like little turds but in reality it's stuffed grape leaves and surprisingly delicious.) Her favorite color. The symbol she had tattooed on her shoulder blade. I'd post more but my wrist is starting to hurt and I'm starting to get a little sad. And I still have some stuff to say.
Clia. I love you. I'll miss you more than anything. I'll miss eating pizza with you and going out in the rain together. I'll miss you being weird and poking my boobs. I'll miss the way you made me talk even though I hate talking now. I'm so sad we didn't have longer, even though I had a very greedy, very wonderful ten years. I'll miss you. I love you. More than anything. Captain Dumbtits.
If you get sad, remember her last words were, "Man, I ganked that mother."
Now I'll leave you with what I know she would want to say, if she were the one typing this.
Σ'αγαπώ και ευχαριστώ.
