#xenithtresk

[xenithwriting-blog]

Staring

Lately I've been spending a lot of time, you know Staring Thinking Staring Wishing Staring And I wish I had more up my sleeve than just a vacant stare and a pocketful of idle dreams Something about you, you know Something about you is different And I can't figure it out I'm trying so hard to figure it out Your eyes maybe? No, they're beautiful, but Maybe your laugh? Like chimes on a breezy day, but that doesn't feel right either I can't place it And maybe that's what it is That I can't figure it out And that's left me mystified Which only scares me more, because What if I figure it out And that difference that makes you shine so bright fades away? What if I figure you out? Would I even comprehend the discovery if I did? I doubt it That doubt comforts me Even as I sit and stare and wish Wish for you to be my mystery

[xenithwriting-blog]

Hands Unwanted

Call curtains up I Am stuck inside, fucking stuck beside my fate Not luck but my eyes Are locking straight ahead to a finish line I say Can't wait to find time Running straight toward another lie awaiting me A mountain beside Another vorpal edge, and I Fall To the ground Sprint To the end and bounce and Burn Wings of wax and plaster Molding all around Call me, my dreamers Land beside another broken instrument of fate Glue up the pieces on high Whisper your secrets To the ear around, to the man awaiting me With such a passion, they cry Out Side of any Lying for destiny to ride To the door Offering more Scream To your chosen Dream As they pass you right on by Something more than Destiny is calling Tonight I can see that the world isn't waiting for me Twenty years from the womb, twenty more from the scene Educate the unlucky, demand to be seen I called it a night and it just wasn't working for me I will fight to be more than you all the wanna see Late at night I assure you'll be thinking of me Call curtains up, I Am feeling more than ready Am more than you believe A dream worth dying for Not a dream worth having You say we're specks beneath the sea I'll give it all in Less than the time it takes for your fucking heart to beat I'm not a quitter, I know Demand For your crowd Shake hands With the devil inside It's not a fight that you can lose Demand For your crowd Shake hands With the devil inside Now you've got a point to prove I can't give it up with the fire that's burning inside Not a thought or a word will persuade me to hide I'm aware and I dare you to falter my stride

[xenithwriting-blog]

I Felt

I felt a gnawing feeling Deep inside the corners of a reeling mind I felt an aching feeling An empty loneliness unable to be let loose from its confines I felt a dying feeling One like many before it leaving fear to linger ever longer Fear that this feeling may be my last I felt in ways words could never describe In volumes the human tongue can only wrap itself around in the dreams of fools who think themselves more intelligent than they or any before them ever were A feeling born not of adversity but of genetics Pure unbridled fear left planted in the recesses of a soul back before the crumbling interior had given itself the fortitude to stand firm through wave after wave of crushing chemical discourse A feeling left unfettered by mind or medicine And a stubborn insistence that no matter how powerful and no matter how desolate the world paints itself, one should be able to pick themselves up with nothing but their own two feet I felt a sinking feeling As walls clashed around a body trapped by destiny in a land that never truly felt like home I felt a pressing feeling Lungs left exhaling at a constant and uncontrollable rate as the echoes of a voice rings through the halls A feeling like weak metal bending in the furnace An inexorable flexing force pressed tightly on the neck of a lost and miserable boy dressed in the skin of a man who wishes not for happiness but for release A feeling of longing for a way of life destined for another Love and comfort but distant memories that faded so gradually their loss was barely even noticed until the abject terror of reality reached its fever pitch I felt a losing feeling I felt a falling feeling I felt a gripping feeling I felt I felt I fell And the wind at my back grows ever stronger

[xenithwriting-blog]

Average Night Out

Need a little liquid courage In my veins A little liquid courage to Keep me sane I'd say my lack of courage Is to blame I wish I had the courage to Ask your name Give me one Just one night to make you See me run The tab up you'll have to Blushing red I can't even meet your eyes are bright and Put my hand Right up on the counter Swear I meant no harm See, I found her Watching from the other side of the hall, you're right Where I want to be tonight Hold my hand and make my night That's all that's in my sights All I want is Cracking lips The nerves getting to me Stuttering hello, Looking through me Bought two drinks I knocked them both back before you saw that Yeah, we know that I'm not the smoothest Fuckin' hell, I know I can do this Put a number down on the table No, she might Laugh and run into the night Never looking back in fright I know I'm not your guy But maybe if I try That bit of liquid courage In my veins The way your shining eyes Are driving me insane I muttered out the words that I Had to say Didn't see your boyfriend standing Out of frame What a fucking day

[xenithwriting-blog]

A Stereotypical Message

Falling in love is safe Because love is waiting to catch you Falling out of love, however Is the most dangerous thing to do Because you only have yourself And you have to catch yourself Or risk falling forever Not only that But you're left at only half strength Your rock having been taken away from you And you've forgotten how to depend on yourself It's easy to end up broken But even if you break Don't give up You can rebuild yourself Everything is hard But nothing is quite so hard as it seems Keep moving You'll be okay I promise

[xenithwriting-blog]

Wish

A wish not lost, but given flight May one day fly right out of sight But if may, my dearest light I'd wager it won't stop the fight If surrendering is right Then I will lie on down and die No, a dream's destined to fly Not to fall and say goodbye

[xenithwriting-blog]

Apparently I Hate You

Nothing is everything. Nothing is new. Nothing important is waiting for you. All of us watching, Yes, all of them too, All staring and smiling and laughing at you. So drop off your act at the curb, little shrew We already hate you. You know that it's true.

[xenithwriting-blog]

Tell me if I'm funny

I've always been interested in trying out stand up comedy. This is a bit that i wrote awhile ago that I think is funny: When I was a little kid I thought the Pope was a superhero. Not because I was religious or anything! I totally wasn't at all! It just seemed like the name of a superhero to me. The Pope! And he even has his own Popemobile. The fucking Popemobile. Who else but a superhero has a vehicle like that? The Batmobile, the Spideymobile, the Popemobile. Regular humans don't GET cars like those! You don't buy yourself a Buick and start telling all your friends about your awesome new Tim-mobile. That's not how that works! At least, it's not if you want to keep those friends you're thinking about calling. You pretentious sod. Regular people get cars. Superheroes get blank-mobiles. It all made perfect sense in my head at the time. I grew up for twelve years thinking that the Pope just spent all his free time zip-lining around the Vatican City rooftops, you know, spreading logical fallacies to all the roving gangs of street toughs that I have to imagine live in a place called fucking VATICAN CITY. Everything about this person's life, his title, his car, his city, all of it is just begging for a gritty comic book reboot. I was so, SO disappointed when I found out he was just an old, sinister looking white guy in a long, flowing robe and a hat that you can see from the moon who gave speeches about his all mighty, all seeing god from the safety of a rolling, bullet proof containment chamber.