I love the Humans are weird thing. And I was thinking about it and Happy Tears.
Happy tears would confuse the heck out of aliens.
Stasser is a Xeno-sociologist. It is highly regarded on it’s world and given how elite the study of alien societies is, that is a great achievement . It is because of this that Stasser was given the study of the humans.
It is the third such expert assigned to the species and it finds them...vexing.
it is clear they are emotional creatures. You can see that from their actions. In fact, the levels of their emotions and the scope of them (they become attached not only to their own and other species but to objects and fictional characters!) But the way they show these emotions is... less clear. Stasser is used to beings who show their feelings more directly. It’s own species are all connected. They share emotions through that connection. There is never any doubt what anyone is feeling. When they discovered other species felt things, it came as a surprise.
It completely changed their culture overnight.
If other species were emotional that meant... well it made a lot of their history a lot more shameful.
Stasser has since studied many species both on world and off. Most species give obvious signals to demonstrate their emotions. Some are visual, some audio, some physical, it varies from lifeform to lifeform. On the planet Jax for example, emotions are shown through colour. Jaxans glow bright blue when they’re happy. They turn a murky grey when they are sad. Some of the more subtle shades took time to learn, and Stasser had thought it was fairly awkward method of communication, if fascinating.
But humans! Humans were a whole new level of complicated.
Humans use visual signals. The configuration of their eyes, their mouth, demonstrate how they feel. If their mouth is turned up, showing teeth, then they are happy. If the mouth is turned down and if the eyes are leaking fluid, this means sadness.
Or no. They use audio signals. If their air filtering organs spasm causing an interrupted exhale, then they are happy. If their speech becomes louder, they are angry.
Or wait, sometimes humans combine signals. If they make a sound-it is difficult to describe, it involves similar organ spasms as the happy sounds, but it does not sound the same- but if they make this sound while they are leaking from the eyes, it means that they are very sad indeed.
Stasser thinks that it is finally coming to grips with human’s emotional signals. They are complex, certainly. But they are charming and the humans often vocalised their emotional state which helped.
Then, it happened.
One of the humans that Stasser was observing began leaking and it’s air filtering organ began spasming, making that difficult to describe noise.
It had been reunited with its offspring. This was a joyous occasion, was it not? Could it be possible that humans did not form an emotional attachment to their offspring? That simply did not fit with any of the data Stasser had gathered thus far.
“Crewman Avery? You are,” what was the word? “crying. Is something wrong? Is the offspring injured?”
The offspring did not appear injured. The offspring was clinging to it’s parent, and it was making the upturned lip teeth showing expression of happiness.
Crewman Avery made a strange audio signal. Was Avery injured? Stasser was a Xenosociologist not a xenobiologist. If Avery was injured, they must return to the ship at once. Stasser was broadcasting distress at the thought as well as confusion, but no one present had the correct organ to sense it.
“Oh Stasser, honey, no. I’m,” Avery inhaled deeply, limbs encircling the offspring, “I’m crying because I’m happy.”
Stasser stared for a long moment. It considered the long months of research and all the data it had gathered. The careful spreadsheets, the sketches of different visual signals, the recordings of audio signals.
It considered a new career dispensing saccharine food items or as a cultivator of plant life. It likes plants. They were so attractive to look at. And despite many studies, they have never demonstrated any sign that they had emotions.
Then Avery reached out a limb towards Stasser, pulling it into the physical contact.
And Stasser thought maybe it just needed to study human emotional signals further. It might take a lifetime of concentrated observation, but it thought it was up to the task.
Hey, if you enjoyed this story, you can read more of my writing here.