Depressed.
my chance has come and gone and will likely never come again. I am so happy to have seen Carol on stage, I’m just sad I didn’t get called on. The one thing--the ONE thing--I want to do more than anything in this life is meet her and thank her for saving my life last winter when I almost took it. Depression is such a crappy disease. I hope we find a way to treat it ADEQUATELY. I just feel like...the one chance I had to tell her what she means to me is blown because I can’t work because of my injury. As a result of that, I have no money. So I can’t travel to see her do her shows and readings. I don’t ask for much, just a little good. And I do my best to spread a little good along the way. Yet here I sit, sobbing, over something that happened almost a week ago. I just wish this ONE dream would come true in my life before it’s over. But sadly I’ve learned I’m plain. I’m ordinary. I blend in. And unusually good things simply don’t happen to me. And it hurts to admit that. A Lot. I love my family and they do so much...but there is only so much bad crap a person can stand before they break. I just want good. In the world. And if any’s left over, a little for me would be nice too.