#xididntdoit

[leewonhoseokkie]

thank you

i mean it I have never felt so much love from anybody like this, i harmed myself, yes but you guys, gave me a reason to keep going forward i just want to say thank you soooo much it really means the world to me...im just so tired but i promise to get the proper help instead of taking things into my own hands i really do 

i really want to thank my little and my big sister Sabrina and Jenni without you my mother would have walked into my room and found a dead daughter  

to my followers:  

I am so sorry if I scared you all, but I'm going through a though time and no one gets it at all...so yes i tried to kill myself, but you guys...are just awesome and I'm staying because of you 

 i cant answer all these questions but i will post them to show you that i have read every single last one of them

[withloveandspirit]

So I met this girl at KCON,

and she was hella amazing. ♥

We were both in the crowd of people watching the dance workshop. I noticed her before I even walked up to the panel because she was wearing bright red jeans and must I say, this girl was absolutely beautiful. We were like dancing by ourselves but then she noticed I knew most of the dances and she encouraged me to go onto the dance floor. I was too afraid to go alone so then she told me, "I'll go up, if you go up. Let's freestyle together." And with that I grabbed her hand and went on. Not gonna lie, she was what really made me happy at KCON. I was alone for most of the day, but when I met her, we just kept doing what we both loved: dancing. She was great company too. I noticed she was wearing a pride button on her shirt and I don't even know if she even swings that way, but I just gotta say, she will forever remain as part of one of the best days of my life. She asked for my number before I left the dance workshop and I gave it to her with a smile. On the ride home I thought about her again and it wasn't til the end of the day that I realized something:

I don't know her name.

[j-changmin]

"You are perfect because you still try your best to smile. You are perfect because you work and work despite your exhaustion. You are perfect because you put others before yourself. You are perfect in so many ways and i'm willing to learn the rest of them, but most of all, babe - you are perfect because you are you and I love you. Now don't say or even think you are less than perfect. Because you are absolute perfection and I wish I was next to you to prove it to you even more."

if you guys excuse me i'm going just to lie down and cry and sob because no one has ever said that to me and sabrina you are perfect i love you ok omg my tears ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

[jonginmida-blog]

OMFG MY MOM WAS BEHIND ME WHEN I RAN INTO THE SEHUN PR0NZ. OMFG DONGSAENGIE WAE U DO THAT

I had a feeling you were going to message me soon lol

[withloveandspirit]

who do you want to win the best rookie award?

Before I go on to fully explain and answer this question, I want it to be very clear that I respect all KPOP groups and that I am by far as loyal as a true EXOtic can be-

Up until this point.

With your question, you're asking me to answer this truthfully, yes? To answer this with an unbiased mind. 

In my opinion, the only band I would ever want to see win the Best Rookie Award for this year (2012) would be no one other than B.A.P. Now I know I'll probably get a bunch of hate from my fandom or maybe even some unfollowers, but I'm going to try to explain this as well as I can. 

EXO-M has just won the award for Best Newcomer in China. I'm very proud of them. I know how much they deserve it. I'm not saying that EXO-K doesn't deserve the same award in Korea, but you have to admit, there was a slight difference between the subgroups. I love EXO with all my heart and as a fan, I only want to see them grow and prosper. But if we're going to discuss who really deserves this award?

In all honesty, ever group deserves this award when they debut. But to put it based on skill, or whatever standard, I'd have to say that it is without a doubt B.A.P. EXO-M went on various variety shows, had online and live interviews, and were on the cover of every magazine and newspaper in China. SM did such a great job of popularizing them there. But when you look at EXO-K, I almost feel a bit burdened; a bit sad - that yes, there were interviews, but not enough. That the way I got to know more about EXO-K was through rumours from sasaeng fans, from repeatedly watching their showcase, and from watching them perform the same song over and over again. 

I know EXO-K gave their all, I know they did. But to compete against 4 comebacks, reality show, and a world tour? I'm sorry, but it really is an obvious choice. 

It is none of the boys' fault, really. It's just... It's evident South Korea and China are different with the way they handle the entertainment business. And in my opinion, for creating a group that was supposed to be "one", SM didn't cover South Korea like they did with China. It hurts me to say that I don't think half of my favourite band is going to win, it really does. And if they don't win, it's not because of their failed efforts. It's for SM's and how they failed to ladder the competition with how great EXO-K is. 

I'm sorry if I have offended any of you but please respect my opinion.

[j-changmin]

sabrina, i had to tell you that. i couldn't sleep well at night just thinking about what to say and i'm sorry if it's not the best thing in the world, but i tried. i really tried

[withloveandspirit]

Me and my mom's conversation about me wanting to be a trainee.

Her: Does it really mean that much to you?

Me: Mom... It's a fact that I kind of grew up on my own, right?

Her: Yes.

Me: Ever since I was little, you've told me and everyone else that I've been independent from the start. When I'm on stage, it's the one place where I can feel safe; I can let my guard down. I can depend on my surroundings because for once, I'm at a place I trust. Now, remember how you always tell me I can be numb?

Her: ... Yes.

Me: Well, when I perform, I feel something. I feel something invigorating and so great; I can barely put it into words. When I dance, I want to stay that way. I want to feel my adrenaline rush to the beat of the music. When I sing, I feel so much more confident than I do on a regular basis. I want to feel that sense of pride I get when I can hit a new high note or when I just sing in my regular Alto voice. And when I rap,

Her: Hah.

Me: Mom, when I rap I feel so powerful. It sounds silly and I know I can barely write rap, but to be able to have an ability not a lot of people have? Or better yet, Mom - when I rap, I know that it's my ability; the ability of my own. You see Ateh and Kuya [older siblings] - Ateh can sing and Kuya can dance, but with me? To be able to rap... It differs me from the two of them and I've been under their shadows for the longest time. I want to be a performer, Mom. I'm not asking to be the best, but to at least go after the one thing that makes me feel something; to go after a dream that I trust.

Her: And that's a dream you trust? It's not even stable! What if you don't get in?

Me: And what if I do?

Her: You're talented, but no matter what there'll always be someone better.

Me: Mom, you had me start singing at 3 years-old. I started dancing a year later. You started my life on stage, and no matter what I am going to end it on stage.

[jongflawless]

kpop questions tag~~~

~*tagged by: xididntdoit*~

Rules:

1. Post the rules.

2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then make 11 new ones

3. Tag 11 people and link to them your post.

4. Let then know you tagged them.

Questions I’m answering:

1:) Which person in KPOP inspires you? -the one and only Kwon JiYong. G-Dragon. he's a musical genius who works hard for everything that he has. i really admire him. 2:) Do you read fanfics?  -i believe we all know the answer to that. COUGH. (agh but anterograde tomorrow, absolute chanyeol, be human, and the great wonderwall of china are my favorites.) 3:) What’s the genre you mostly read? AU? Smut? Fluff? -i read a fairly equal amount of all three. it depends on what mood im in.  4:) Have you ever listened to CPOP or JPOP? -yes! more jpop than cpop. but i have listened to both! (i was really obsessed with NEWS before kpop.) 5:) What got you into KPOP? -my cousin Ashley showed me kpop for the first time, with Don't Don by super junior. those pelvic thrusts just got me. 6) How did you start following me? -i pressed the follow button. HAHAHA. i followed you because i met you through SDKFM and youre super awesome and an EXO stan like me *_____* 7:) Do you consider us friends? yessss. i do wish i saw you more though T T 8:) Which is more real: JongKey or 2Min? FUCKING 2MIN OKAY THEY SHIP THEMSELVES. but im not denying the reality of JongKey. 9:) Do you feel like your OTPs are real? -I KNOW THEYRE REAL.  10:) What other fandoms are you in? -i consider myself a shawol and a BABY on top of being a super EXOtic. but i do really like big bang and infinite as well...i just dont stan them as much. 11:) If your favourite band asked you to describe the fandom to them, what would you say? -i would tell them that we're just a bunch of girls who want them to have sex with each other so badly that we write about it. also i would sneak in a little "kai marry me pl0x"

My 11 Questions for YOU!:

omg im too lazy to make more questions or tag people so im just gonna leave it at this LOLOLOL