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✦ . * ◟ SOFT TOUCH. // accepting // @xingeselord * .
She’d been so build up on everything; she’d been told never to let her emotions take over. She was told that it would make her weak, it would make her unworthy of being a bodyguard to Yao Clan. But that was easier said than done; when someone mocked Ling something inside of her snapped. Her grandfather told her how idiotic she was for letting that control her, how he told her time after time that if she ever did fall for the Prince to not let that sidetrack her from protecting him.
When Fu had died she did not have time to really break down; in that same moment she had almost lost Ling as well. All this time away from Xing, with everything that happened she still had no time to think over everything. But still the thought of breaking down? The thought of actually expressing her feelings; it scared her so much- she didn’t want to be seen as weak.
Now back in Xing she could feel her walls slowly crumbling down; Ling hovering around her asking how she was. It was as if he was chipping away at the wall- Lan Fan didn’t mind Ling caring, it was in his nature to be this way and having him care? It made her world a little brighter.
It was as if Ling knew she was thinking about him, thinking about the pain. She felt his fingers on her shoulders, his hair tickling her as his arms wrapped around her. She didn’t notice how stiff her body was until her body went light as she leaned into his touch; her eyes squeezed shut as she hummed out.
Squeezing them shut was clearly the worst idea she could have done; tears rolled down her cheeks. Oh. She whimpered; she hated this she really truly hated this and did not want to be crying right now not in front of Ling. “M-my..” She wheezed, no she couldn’t call him that he’d scold her for it wouldn’t he? “Ling…I’m most sorry for this..”