#xlusory

[vartouhix]

Within the letter contained the following: "The scent of roses linger where careful footsteps fail. And a hound hungry, will always seek to tail."

Vartouhi pulled out the paper, leaning forward a bit to set the envelope on the coffee table in front of her knees. Carefully, she unfolded it, blinking in bewilderment at first glance, surprised at how concise the letter was. She read over the words once, stared at the last word, and read it again, mouthing the words silently to herself.

A teardrop.

It was so sudden that for a moment she thought her roof was leaking, tipping her head up to look, finding that her vision was blurred with tears. She looked back down at the page, holding it slightly away to avoid getting more tears on it. The words were so cryptic... She hardly grasped what it could possibly mean, her mind going through one possibility after another--short, choppy thoughts, not fully formed. But no matter how she tried, she couldn't understand it.

...So why did it make her start sobbing?

[vartouhix]

In front of her door, laid an envelope, the color mimicking that of old papyrus. Embossed in gold at the very center were letters carefully spelling out her name.

Vartouhi had been about to leave her apartment when her peripheral vision picked up the presence of the letter. At first, her brows furrowed slightly, confused. She didn't know anyone who communicated any other way besides texting. Uncertainly, she bent at the knees, crouching down to reach for the envelope, hesitate, and then finally take it between her fingers. She stared down at it as she stood, and as she backed up into her apartment, letting the heavy door shut itself. She moved to the living room and sat on the couch, nimble fingers pulling open the envelope to reach inside.

[vartouhix]

06.09.19.

I still haven’t forgotten.

[vartouhix]

"It wasn't fair. Nothing about the way we started was fair.... You breathed and I couldn't stop. I was spiralling. Only you, only you, only you. All that consumed my mind was you. I was scared. You scared me."

Vartouhi had only meant to retrieve her old, filled-up sketchbooks from the cardboard box in her closet. She hadn’t expected to find one of her favorite cardigans, folded and forgotten at the bottom of the stack. With a bright smile, she pulled the garment out, holding it up by the seams at the shoulders to let it unfurl. She was just thinking she couldn’t wait to wear it again come fall, when a small piece of paper fluttered out from the pocket.

Blinking curiously, she gently set aside the cardigan in favor of picking up the paper. She didn’t hesitate to unfold it, but as she saw the handwriting, she froze.

It was a note from Jongin.

A few seconds passed where she just stared down at the words without really seeing them. Finally, she read it. Once. Twice. Three times. She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her teeth together. The next breath she took was tense as she tried to control her emotions. She could hear the telltale stirring of objects in the room as she was caught completely off guard with such an intense wave of grief. The princess shook her head, trying to shoo away her own telekinesis.

When she managed to succeed in staving off an involuntary activation of her powers, she dropped her head, now more focused on trying not to cry. “…It wasn’t fair how we ended, either…” she whispered into the apartment.

The responding silence hadn’t felt so devastatingly lonely in such a long time.

[vartouhix]

dream

send ‘dream’ and i’ll show you one of my muse’s good dreams x ; not accepting

Vartouhi watched a small, fluffy brown rabbit nudge her hand as she laid on the ground. Wildflowers stretched up on tall, thin stems at seemingly impossible heights for the amount of vibrant petals that should have weighed them down. But this wasn’t Earth. This was home; this was Balah. Things were different here. She found she didn’t miss Earth at all. Why would she? She could visit it any time she liked. She’d traveled back home, after all. Traveling back to Earth was similarly feasible.

She felt someone’s fingers splay across the side of her waist, sliding forward towards her navel until the palm of the person’s hand was pressed firmly against the gentle roundness of her stomach. There was a flutter in her stomach, as delicate as the rabbit still nuzzling her hand. Vartouhi turned her head lazily to watch Jongin go from looking at her stomach, to looking at her in question. Her free hand lifted to press to his cheek, nodding gently.

“She knows you’re here. But she’s lazy right now. It’s a lazy day.” The smile that broke out across his mouth was almost as bright as the sun. Her chest warmed over at the sight of it.

“That’s alright. Jiwon has enough energy for all of our family, anyway.” As if on cue, she could hear the excited squeal of a young boy nearby. Jongin shook his head fondly. “Maybe she’ll be lazy when she comes out, and balance things a bit.”

Touhi hummed in agreement, her head turning back to observe the baby bunny. She turned her hand over to run her fingers over its head and down its back, her eyes closing and a giggle escaping her as she felt lips press to her cheek. 

[vartouhix]

"When you are near, my heart is at peace."

dishonored sentence starters x ; accepting

A slow, lazy smile spread across her lips. His words warmed her over quicker than the sunlight peeking through the blinds into the bedroom, and more thoroughly than the comforter covering the both of them. Vartouhi shimmied closer to him, one of her hands taking his wrist to lift his arm so she could press right up next to him and lower that arm across her waist. When she looked up at him again, into his sleepy gaze, she could feel that peace enveloping the both of them. She leaned up to press a kiss to the little dimple off to the side of his chin. “Pretty poetry first thing in the morning, i’hlaya?”

[vartouhix]

"We all start with innocence, but the world leads us to guilt."

dishonored sentence starters x ; accepting

She looked up from playing with River on the floor, watching the back of his head as he sat behind his desk. She waited for him to perhaps say some more, or look at her, or anything, really. But all he did was drop his head into his hands, elbows on the table keeping him propped up. Her stomach washed over with an icy cold feeling and she flashed the little rabbit an apologetic look before getting up to abandon her in favor of comforting Jongin.

Vartouhi lightly set her hands behind his broad shoulders, watching as they jerked initially from the unexpected touch, but quickly relaxed. Well, somewhat. He was still clearly very tense, and from his words, she had a feeling he had somehow been reminded of his past again, and was having a hard time shaking the negative thoughts. She closed her hands around his flesh, moving it slowly but firmly enough to loosen up the knots in his muscles. 

“It’s rather unfair, isn’t it?” she asked softly. “But you must remember, we are not our guilt. There is more to a person than just the sum of their mistakes.” He let out a long sigh that, she could tell, was already a fair bit more relaxed. Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss into the hair at the back of his head. “You require a break. Come. I am confident I can be a happy distraction.”

[vartouhix]

Kiss+ angry, neck, againgst the wall. Any one of these is fine. Your pick~

send ‘kiss’ + a number to kiss my muse x ; accepting

Hooooow about ALL THREE? ;D

“It’s a very advanced form of telekinesis, but if I just study the biology involved–”

“No, Touhi.”

“–in the aging process–”

“Touhi, stop.”

“–I can surely come to understand how to safely accelerate my body’s age–”

“Stop.”

“–and I feel that I will be relatively safe given my different–”

“STOP!” She jumped as he whirled around and practically roared the word at her. She had been dancing around the topic for days, ever since she found out humans do not, in fact, live to be two-thousand years old like Balahyans do. And when she wasn’t beating around the bush about trying to mutilate her own body on the cellular level just to keep up with his age, just to die with him thousands of years before she naturally should, she was solemn or flat-out crying over the cruelty of their reality. 

Jongin already worked in a high-stress environment. All of this exacerbated his stress, little by little, until finally the lid on the bad mood he’d been trying to hold in for her, popped off. He advanced towards her quickly, eyes dark and wild. Vartouhi hated herself for it, but she flinched again, stumbling backwards until she hit the wall. It was pathetic how Maurus still had influence over her, but even now she was paranoid over the possibility that a Maurus could be lurking under any person’s charming surface. She hated herself more because instead of violence, she was met with hands on her shoulders. The princess wasn’t sure when she’d closed her eyes, but she hesitantly opened them to find hurt mingling with the temper flaring in his gaze. The firm grip he had on her shoulders wasn’t anywhere near painful, and she felt ashamed that she’d actually been afraid.

His hands slid along the slope of her shoulders to cup her neck, a thumb under her chin lifting her head when she tried to look down. For a long moment they just stared at each other, him rubbing his thumb across her skin over and over. Eventually his hands moved to caress her cheeks, and she began to cry, suddenly remembering how his life was so much more fleeting than hers, and loathing herself for daring to waste any moments she could spend loving him, by comparing him to her ex-betrothed. Her eyes squeezed shut, as if that could stop the tears from coming.

The first touch of his lips to hers was gentle, as soothing as the hand that smoothed over her hair. So was the next kiss, because she hadn’t yet responded to the first, still too focused on trying not to bawl. And the next, when she began to tentatively kiss back, while he tried to gently guide her away from those painful thoughts. 

But when she was finally pushing her mouth against his with a little more pressure, sighing through her nose at the comfort of his kiss, his kiss changed, too. Both his hands tangled their fingers in her hair, curling into fists to pull it tight and hold her in place. He stepped closer to pin her between the wall and his body, and Vartouhi yipped in surprise as he abandoned kissing her hard on the mouth in favor of biting at her neck. The sound transformed into a moan when he kissed the spot over and over, as if kneading away the pain with the softness of his lips.

Eventually his kisses slowed, until they were long, lingering, soft presses to her skin. When he lifted his head to look at her again, she could still see the hurt, and this time she pressed one of her hands to his cheek. With a heavy sigh that sounded like he was trying to dispel a weight from his chest, he leaned into her touch. For a moment they remained like that, waiting for the adrenaline to ebb away. And when it did, he spoke. 

“Don’t think about that anymore.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he continued before she could start. “I don’t want you to shorten your life. I want you to have all the time you’re supposed to, to experience as many wonderful things as you can. Loving me isn’t all there is, Touhi.” He paused to just look at her, watching the tears that hadn’t quite left begin to fill her waterline again. Jongin leaned forward to bump her nose with his gently before pressing his forehead to hers. His eyes closed, and hers followed. “I know it’s hard. But you can’t think about that anymore. It will spoil the time we do have. And since this time is so precious, we shouldn’t let that happen, right?” He felt her shake her head a little. “So from now on, every time you start to think about it, as soon as you realize you’re thinking about it, stop yourself. Tell yourself ‘no’ and think about something else. Distract yourself if you have to. But don’t let it rule over you anymore. If you’re happy with me, don’t let it make you sad with me.”

When she sighed, he opened his eyes again to press a kiss to her forehead, and she was looking at him when he looked down at her again. The look in her eyes was one of wonder–a look she had told him before, when he asked why she was staring like that, meant she was re-realizing how much she loved him. With a fond smile, he reached down to take her hand, separating from her. “Come on. You should drink some water, and I need to make myself some food.”