"I miss you." from audrey. or both. whichever.
Send me "I miss you" to know what my muse will say after 1 year, 5 years, then to 10 years after your muse's death.
" This isn't fair, you promised you would never leave me and you did. I can't stop crying, even after a year, out of all the 365 days I've probably only slept half of the nights. I can't sleep, No one's here to tell me everything will be fine when I wake up... because nothing is fine. It's wrong. Everything's wrong. I'm alone and you said I wouldn't be. You said you'd be here for me when I woke up and you stopped. I cry, and I beg to wake up because this is the worst nightmare I have ever had. "
" I'm not crying anymore. I can't. I think I lost all my tears.. or my emotions. I'm not sure which. I can't really feel again, and when I do it's bad, like really bad. I wish it wasn't but It hurts, I've given up on trying to stop hurting myself, when I try the relapses are just really bad and messy, so now I do it when I start to feel so I can go numb again. I don't want to hurt anymore but no one wants to help me... no one cares... so I guess I don't care either.
" It's sort of funny. I thought I'd have kids by now... a family, a silly little pretty house with a picket fence and happiness... I don't though... but it's not your fault I've just forgotten how to move on. I can laugh again though, and smile, and I've even learned to be numb without shedding any blood. But I'll never be the same, I'll never want to move on from you, you were the only thing that made me feel whole.. without you I'm just... not good. But I might get there... I don't know how much longer it will take.. maybe I'll be better when I die.. if I get to see you again. then I'll be happy. But for now, I guess.. I'll just smile, and laugh, and wait for the day where I don't have to fake it anymore.. "
" I'm so sorry, I keep saying it, over and over and i wrote it in a journal until the pages fell out. I don't want to worry you but I failed you. I was supposed to keep you safe. Keep you happy. Keep you alive, and I couldn't, so I relapsed. I couldn't handle it when you left and I still can't now. You are were everything to me and I don't think I can do this without you. "
" I don't want to do this anymore. The whole living thing, I'm to messed up for it, I can't sleep, I've lost my appetite, it's like the world went from amazingly vivid colors to black and white after you left. It's like the longer amount of time that goes by it just gets darker and darker until I can't see anything. I'm starting to get scared of the dark, scared of being this lonely. I'm terrified that I'm never going to find someone as amazing as you again. I know you'd want me to be happy, but I don't know if I can. "
" You're still gone. I still hate being alone. I wish you were here but you're not and it hurts. I makes me feel empty every time I wake up and look on the other side of the bed and you're not there, even after all this time I can still remember the way you smelled when you came to bed. I wanted to have a life with you but I cant anymore... I don't even want to be here. It's not happy. Every time I wake up and your not their I can hear the news of them telling me you're gone. I don't even want to be happy.. I just want you. "