☆ characters: shop assistant!xukun & customer!you
☆ genre: meet-cute, strangers to lovers au
☆ request: 18. from this prompt list
☆ summary: you have the perfect height for Xukun to help you reach the upper shelf and he is positively smug about it
☆ words: 1,6k
☆ dedicated to: @dat-town ♥ and that lovely anon who asked about the possibility of a future xukun fic a couple of months ago
☆ taglist: @soobin-chois
You had started to get suspicious when even your favorite snacks had been put on the upper shelf in your go-to convenient store that was located barely five minutes from the company where you did your internship for your masters degree. You knew basic marketing; in fact, you had taken numerous classes in the past few years regarding fruitful and failed marketing strategies all around Asia, Europe, and the United States. Thus, no one could have convinced you that putting the season’s most popular candy bars anywhere else but the middle shelves was normal. Especially because they had been pretty much in your eyeline up until you had started to stock up on them for your lunch breaks.
However, you obviously couldn’t have called anyone out on your inconvenience without any evidence; you had to go into full detective-mode to figure out what was really going on. Were you paranoid or your gut feeling was telling the truth and someone was messing with you?
During the next one and a half months, you checked where certain products were placed before and after you started purchasing them regularly, whether any of them changed place depending on what time of the day you visited the store, and kept track of the employees, too, just in case it was a personal vendetta against you. You honestly doubted you had ever met these part-timers outside of the shop - there were four of them in total, all of them close to you in age -, but one could have never known for sure, plus you could be a bit grumpy when you were starving, so it could have easily been about an apology you owed one of them. If that had been the case, you would have done it without hesitation. After all, you were aware you weren’t alway in the right.
The puzzle pieces came together slowly, but on a sunny day, after a long day at the company, one look at your favorite Oreos on the upper self brought you enlightenment. You looked at the shop assistant from above your shoulder, let out a tired sigh, then stood on your tiptoes to grab a package. You were so ready to call him out on his bullshit once you stood in front of the counter.
‘I’ll get it for you. The classic ones, right?’ A deep voice asked, and your shoulders tensed as you took a step away from the self on instinct. You weren’t really afraid, but this was the first time someone stood behind your back to help you out; thus, it took you off guard.
You looked up at the boy who already had a package of classic Oreos in his hands. Although, as soon as you realized that he was the shop assistant you were rightfully suspicious of, you shook your head.
‘Thanks, but I can get them myself,’ you insisted, totally disregarding the snack in his hands to prove a point. It didn’t matter that you could hardly touch the price tags on the edge of the upper shelf with your fingertips in your high heels, or that standing on your tiptoes barely gave you another centimeter. You had to show him that he had picked on the wrong person.
‘It didn’t seem so from there,’ he pointed at the counter with a smug smile, urging you to turn towards him with your entire body and poke his chest a few times with your index finger in order to intimidate him.
But that would have been childish. Therefore, you put your hands on your hips instead and narrowed your eyes.
‘Well, I got them just fine the other day when Jungha was behind the counter,’ you showed him one of your most mocking smiles, not backing down from the challenge when instead of apologizing, he started a staring contest.
You didn’t like the clear amusement on his face. It irked you, and made you more certain that you had done nothing to him that should have triggered his vendetta. He was either doing this to gain your attention or he was a weirdo who liked watching other people suffer. With your luck, you wouldn’t have been surprised if it had been the latter.
‘Doesn’t it go against some kind of store policy or what not when an employee plays tricks on the customers?’ You broke the silence before he could have thought he had won. It might have been stupid of you, especially if he had been a creep like you suspected, but you wanted to show him that you weren’t easy to play with.
You could have always shopped at another store if things had gone south this time, right? Not to mention that you had a can of pepper spray in your tote bag. Worst case scenario, the book you were currently reading weighed almost half a kilo. You could have slapped him with your hard copy of Game of Thrones and run if he had tried anything funny.
‘Dunno,’ he answered with a nonchalant shrug, not making any attempt at decreasing the distance between you two. You wondered whether your thoughts were written on your face. Did you look afraid of him? Because you weren’t afraid! He was just a bit too tall, and he had chosen the worst way to initiate a conversation with you when he had sneaked up on you. ‘But if it did, it should depend on what kind of tricks. Don’t you agree?’
You mimicked his nonchalance and shrugged. He didn’t look too muscular, but you obviously couldn’t have told for sure when he was wearing a shapeless uniform. Plus, you weren’t too strong, either.
‘Maybe,’ you retorted with confidence, earning a genuine-looking smile from him with your answer. You counted to one, two, three, then decided to call him out on his actions now that you were having an actual conversation. ‘Or maybe you should stop misplacing my favorite snacks when you’re bored.’
The boy scoffed, but it didn’t sound annoyed or irritated. If anything, his reaction reminded you of your roommate, Yuqi, and how she clowned you whenever you forgot to buy instant noodles or certain veggies when she had a concrete recipe in mind for the weekend.
‘Please, it’s not like it’s illegal to put products on the upper shelves. It doesn’t hurt you in any way. And the faces you make when you act like you’re tall enough are cute,’ he reasoned, his logic flawed on many levels.
‘I’m tall enough!’ You spat, feeling a little stupid a second later when you realized that he had a point. But still, you weren’t acting anyhow. Because even when it took you some time, you always managed on your own. High shelves couldn’t beat you.
‘Nah, you’re short. Get over it!’ He waved you off like you were a child who still lived in her own fantasy world. His endeared chuckles made you pout, then you pouted a bit more since you had proved him right once again without meaning to. ‘Oh, come on! I’d miss your pouty face. It’s adorable.’
You would have liked to think that you were unaffected when it came to sweet talkers like him - Xukun, as his nametag suggested -, but you could feel your cheeks getting warmer the softer his smile became. You cleared your throat to steal a moment for yourself before you opened your sealed lips for a coherent comeback.
‘Aren’t you too old to flirt like a kindergartener?’ You asked with one of your hands still on your hip, head slightly tilted and slim eyebrow raised high.
‘Maybe I mistook you for one the first time and it stuck with me,’ he teased, rendering you speechless despite the flames his retort ignited in you. You wanted to tell him off so badly, but on the other hand, you couldn’t change the fact that his chin could have grazed the top of your head if he had taken two steps forwards.
You understood exaggeration. You didn’t have a stick up your ass that made you fight over mere semantics. Still, you groaned as lacking a better idea, you took the package of classic Oreos out of his hand.
‘Leave my Oreos on the third shelf and I’ll consider giving you my number next time,’ you claimed with enough confidence to not stutter despite your heart beating in your throat. So what if you had misread the signs and he wasn’t actually flirting? It wasn’t that you needed to shop in this particular store all the time just because it was located at the perfect spot, five minutes from your workplace and one from the subway line that took you home.
You threw the snack into your shopping basket, then walked past the boy to show him you wouldn’t wait for his answer desperately if he was only joking around.
The corner of your lips twitched in amusement when he jogged after you.
‘Deal!’
It would have been a lie to say you weren’t a tad bit doubtful when you left the store, but the next time you visited the shop, the Oreos were on the third shelf; thus, you took your time to introduce yourself at the counter. Although you left that day without giving him your number, Xukun didn’t push you, nor did he break his promise, calling you out on doing so first. Instead, he appreciated your attempts at getting to know him and reciprocated your fun facts about your life with his own.
It took you almost a month to fulfill your part of the bargain, but you eventually did give him your kkt ID. After all, he needed to be able to contact you before your first date in that amusement park you had chosen together.
(Because yes, no matter what he said, you were tall enough to ride roller coasters.)
Genre: historical, fantasy, royalty, bit of enemies to lovers, bit of childhood sweetheart to lovers, bit of i’d die for you, angst with hopeful open ending
Warnings: blood, violence, murder, poisoning and death
Summary: If you wanted to kill the last son of the Dragon Clan, first you needed to get through his right hand man. Too bad he knew you too well but it felt like you didn’t know him at all.
Words: 11.1k
Author’s note: please note that even though this historical fantasy is inspired by ancient China, it is not historically accurate because it isn’t set in any certain era or even at any existing place. the governor structure and politics might be confusing but this is basically about a lot of small kingdoms (called clans) having a never ending war for more power over the area. Chinese mythical creatures exist in this world but have gone almost extinct during the wars. to know how i imagine this world, watch Lay’s Lit mv!
for the one&only @lily-blue 💕
As the only daughter of the Jade Clan's head, you had your responsibilities. To your father, his men and all the people under them. Most importantly, you had to do everything in order to protect the Clan. When the Dragon Clan started expanding its territory, winning over more and more land, becoming more and more powerful, you knew that no army could fight theirs, so you had to go to the war with wits instead of swords.
When your father proposed the idea of a reunion between the two Clans by marrying you to the son of the Dragon, you hated it. The other Clan was everything you despised: ruthless, brutal, selfish and while you knew arranged marriage was your future, you didn't want to rule next to a tyrant. But when your father said that this would be the perfect chance for you to kill their leader and rule over the united clans yourself, it suddenly wasn't that bad of a plan. Although you never wanted a huge empire and you didn't want the responsibility over so many people, freeing them from a bloody rule sounded like the best you could do. Especially now that the man needed an heir to secure his bloodline and power.
It took ridiculously few letters between your father and Zhang Yixing before you were off, on the road with only a chest of your belongings and another one full of gold and other jewels as marriage gifts. You had your most trusted maids and soldiers with you but otherwise you were alone, alone with your plan to poison your husband-to-be. Surely, you didn't think it was going to be easy while being surrounded by his people in a palace but getting there, the dark monstrum of a building wasn't like how you imagined your future to be. Everything wore the pattern of dragon scales, the city burned in the colours of fire and ash, even the waters were dark. People wore black clothes and wore their hair down without many accessories but despite the grayness of the place, the men and women you ran into didn't seem unhappy or living in fear. They must not have known any other life, so you felt sorry for them.
You were escorted to a chamber right away and compared to the light flowery room you were used to at home, this was very different but you didn't complain. Instead you inquired about Zhang Yixing's whereabouts and when you could meet him but the maid told you that he had a meeting with his generals, so you couldn't see him until the next day when you were supposed to have lunch together. You thanked her for enlightening you and after blaming your fatigue on the long voyage, you requested to be left alone. Opening your box of accessories, you pulled out a small glass bottle with yellow liquid inside. A few drops of it was enough to put a man to sleep, a whole spoon was surely death, so your only job was to get time alone with your fiance. Until then, you needed to play your cards well.
You were quite restless and maybe a bit paranoid but you couldn’t sleep during the night fearing that someone might attack you. Even though you knew you were now under the protection of the ruler of the Clan just by being Zhang Yixing’s fiancée, it didn’t calm your traitorous heart. You have seen enemies in every corner and yet, you raised your chin high, confident and proud when you were called to that lunch with your man to be.
Followed by a bunch of maids, you walked to the room on which Yixing decided and you took your seat on the opposite end of the long table full of delicious goods. The young king was already there, his pitch black hair falling into his almond-shaped dark eyes as he looked up at you sternly, eyes narrowing as if he wanted to see through you. His skin was pale against his black clothes that were simpler than you would have thought of a tyrant. You had never met him before but you heard stories of him and you heard descriptions of his looks. However, he was younger than you had expected, only a few years older than you, but with his defined jawline and rigid expression you could imagine him being the one behind the destruction of your neighbours.
He didn’t greet you but signalled that you should start eating and tentatively you reached out for the rice, chopsticks freezing in your hold as soon as he spoke up in a raspy voice.
"It's quite unexpected, your father's wish to join hands," he said calmly and it sounded like a challenge or a test, you couldn’t tell but you didn’t like the tone he was using to talk about your father. As if he was a weakling crawling to his feet.
"Is it?” you raised an eyebrow, daring to look straight into his cold eyes, watching his every move, every twitch. “I think it's a very reasonable timing. After all, you just reached our borders," you explained because he must have known there were not many choices you could take: it was either seeking peace or a war and your nation was a peaceful one, hence you would have done anything to keep it that way.
“Is your father afraid of me?” Yixing questioned and you bet he wanted to believe that, that he could scare the Jade Clan’s head. But your father was a born strategist, he always had a plan.
“Isn’t that why you’re doing this? You want other nations to fear you?” you counterattacked with a question, knowing the lesson yourself as well: If you cannot be loved, you must be feared.
You were well aware that it was a reckless thing to challenge the king. He might have been your fiance on paper but he could have just lifted his hand and have you killed and everybody you had with you to make it look like you were attacked on the road, never reaching his palace. However, for the first time since you had seen him, the man ahead of you looked amused, the corners of his mouth curling upwards.
"You have a sharp tongue for a princess," he said and it almost sounded like a compliment. You took pride in that with a raise of your chin.
"I'm the only child of the Jade Clan's head. I have learned how to wield any kind of weapon," you answered confidently. You might not have been an undefeated warrior but you had learned how to protect yourself and you knew too well that spoken words could cause just as harm as knives sometimes. But still, it seemed to make the young king interested as he bobbed his head towards you, leaning forward with his elbows balancing on the table.
"We could test that. Are you good at archery?" he asked, probably with the intention to invite you for a game. But his smugness irked you because he made it sound like he expected you to lose no matter what. So you did the least princess-like and least wise thing you could have done in that moment: you pulled your hairpin out, letting your long locks fall onto your shoulders before swinging your arm forward and letting the pin fly forward.
In the next moment two interestings things happened. Not only Yixing’s guards weren’t by your side, forcing you down or even killing you for your brazen act but he himself didn’t move. He looked into your eyes without fear and without anger. At the same time, you saw a shadow move so fast you didn’t think it was possible for a human and his sword hit you hairpin out of its path before it could have landed in the painting behind Yixing’s throne, hitting the dragon on it in the eye. The soldier, guard or whoever he was, wore black just like his ruler but there was a textil mask in front of his face, so he must have been a special kind of warrior. Not that you cared, your attention was back on Yixing immediately.
"You tell me... do you think I would be good at it?" you asked, finding the silence a bit unsettling, it was almost like the calm before the storm. But then the king laughed and you were baffled.
“What a bride you will make,” he tilted his head and then finally, you started eating.
You were aware that you were lucky that you hadn’t been executed for that bold move you had made but it only ensured you that Zhang Yixing needed you. Or at least what you represented: the peace deal with your nation and a secured future bloodline. He could have probably forgiven as much. Or was he really that sure that either you miss the target or his guard would save him? You weren't sure but since you needed to know about his most trusted men anyways, you asked your maids about the masked figure. They didn’t know much, so you gave them the task to ask around among the Dragon Clan’s servants. You needed to know who your enemies were and where they laid. You also needed to know the palace as best as you could in case you needed an escape route or a secret passage to get to Yixing faster than anyone.
Hence, your night escapades started: once night have fallen, you pulled out a dark, comfortable clothing usually men wore and tied your hair high to not get into your way as you climb out of your window, up to the roof from where you could see the U-shaped building complex, knowing exactly where you should go: towards the king’s quarters. Running from rooftop to rooftop reminded you of your childhood when you practiced hide and seek in the palace back home. Your father had taught you how important it was to remain invisible and his advice still stayed with you as you made sure to dissolve into the shadows as you jumped to the gardens: step lightly, breath lightly like air in the morning but listen well and open your eyes because the smallest sounds, the smallest movements can be your enemy’s.
There were two guards in front of what you thought was Yixing’s suite but you didn’t care about that. You were more interested in the room where he planned his strategies to see if he really wanted to march through your home and bring war there just to conquer your other neighbours too. But before you could reach for the wooden door, you heard a shush and you crouched down just in time for the dagger to land in the wood instead of you. You bolted immediately, making a run for it, stepping up on a barrel you jumped onto the roof, so you could find a hiding place. You were prepared for such a thing. If things went South, you just needed to sneak back to your room, under the blanket and act alarmed when they banged on your door. You might have been from another Clan but nobody would have disrespected a princess by checking what she wore while sleeping and none of your maids would have said anything against you.
But you didn’t reach your quarters. No matter how lightly and in the shadows you tried to step, the one who followed you must have been really good because from one moment to another you felt yourself being hauled down from the roof, onto the ground. You and the man (based on his build) fell down together and lucky for you, it was him whose back hit the grass first with you on top of him. It gave you a bit of advantage to get to your feet immediately but you didn’t get far away. Dodging the man’s attacks, you had to admit that his training was very good, no fighter made it so hard for you to get even one hit and you grunted in annoyance when your back hit the wall of the stable. It was a full moon, so it was dark, only some tinkling light illuminating the palace for which you were grateful but it also gave you disadvantage because unlike your attacker you didn’t know this place. You felt a sudden pressure on your chest as a strong arm was pressed against it, a blade close to your neck but you only saw a silhouette.
“Speak, are you just a thief or a spy?” he asked, his voice sounding younger, softer than you expected but there was something dangerous to it. You didn’t wait enough to find out what it was. You tightened your grip around the ceramic cup you had picked up earlier and smashed it against his head. You had indeed learned how to use everything as a weapon.
For a moment, it looked as if the guard’s eyes flashed gold in the moonlight but you were too busy running away, into the stable, scaring the horses and hiding behind a straw pile, controlling your breathing until the man who had come after you gave up and left.
You hissed when you touched the wound on your fair skinned neck. It wasn’t deep and didn’t hurt a lot but it was obviously a blade wound, one that a princess shouldn’t have. So to hide it, you brushed your head over your shoulders before you left for your archery practice with Zhang Yixing who wished to see your skills for real. He greeted you with an expectant smile to which you bobbed your head politely.
You didn’t talk much while taking turns, shooting arrows but you carefully and discreetly eyed his guards when it was the king’s turn, wondering if one of them was the one from the day before. Not that you could have told with their masks on.
After practice (you lost but only because you didn’t try too hard), you went to eat fruits in the gardens and you learned that Yixing was about to leave to check on his Eastern borders. He would be away for at least a week but promised to get the wedding preparations started with his servants. You knew that was why you came but still, it made you nervous as it meant you had less time.
“Princess!” A sudden, unexpected voice called after you when you were ready to leave with your maids. Nobody other than Yixing had initiated a conversation with you since you arrived, everyone waited for you to step first. So you were curious what this man, one of the king’s closest guards, could have wanted from you. Turning around, you saw him holding out your hairpin, the one you had thrown towards Yixing the first time you had seen him, the one someone dodged, could it be…
You looked up at the young man, his hair, somewhat ruffled in his forehead, mask covering his face under his eyes. He didn’t look at you, he casted his eyes down like a good servant would.
“Thank you,” you spoke up, a bit uncertain and there was a flicker in the guard’s eyes the moment he glanced up at you after his gaze lingered on your neck: something familiar yet scary but you blinked and it was over. You took the hairpin and left, your dress sweeping the floor behind you. That guard made you feel uneasy for some reason.
The next day Yixing indeed left and when you didn’t bump into the man from the other night for the next three days you were starting to think that he went with the ruler as well. It was only after you managed to sneak into the king’s room and out when you had to realize just how wrong you had been. You knew something was off the moment you stepped into your quarters. Your guards weren’t outside of your doors and the candle you left there lit up burnt out. It was already cold to touch when you lit it again which meant it must have blown out when your intruder opened the door earlier. You pulled out your sword and pointed it ahead of you, alarmed. Your shadow danced on the walls as the candle light flickered.
“It’s been a while… Princess,” the intruder spoke up much too calmly for someone who broke into a royal’s room. You could have gotten him killed for that but you froze. Not only because he must have known about your night adventures but because the playful tint of his voice was somewhat familiar.
The shadow stepped out from the corner, hands held up, defensive, revealing the guard from earlier. You furrowed your brows, not lowering the sword, not until the other pulled down his mask and the man you faced made you gasp.
“Xukun...” you whispered, almost whimpered, and you felt your knees weaken. But he– you thought he was dead.
“I think we have a lot to talk about,” he suggested with a hint of a smile and you couldn’t agree more.
You could still barely believe that it was Cai Xukun in front of you, alive and grown up unlike the boy you had last seen him as. The boy you practiced fighting with, the son of your father’s general, your childish first love. He had never known, of course, you never had a future to begin with but still. You remembered being sixteen and so in love, secretly gushing everytime he had brought you wild roses saying they reminded him of you. But then at eighteen, he had gone off to a battle and never came back. You remembered the crinkle around his eyes as he joked, telling you not to worry, he wasn’t that easy to kill. Apparently, he was right but you didn’t understand what he was doing in the Royal Palace of the Dragon Clan as one of the high rank guards when he was supposed to be back at your home. If his father still lived, what would he have said about his son becoming a traitor?
“I knew it was you,” he spoke up, eyes a mixed colour, mouth in a thin line. You looked at him questioningly. Then he pointed at your neck without a word and you reached for the now scar on your throat. “Obviously, I didn’t know then. Sorry.”
“Why didn’t you report me then?” you asked directly, looking straight into his eyes and you let your gaze linger on the slope of his nose, the corners of his mouth, the sharp line of his jaw. He had grown up, he was more handsome than ever. “Or why didn’t you kill me during the past two days when you were following me?”
“So you knew,” Xukun nodded at you, impressed but you just raised an eyebrow. You had a guess. Everything was too easy, too quiet. When you didn’t answer, the once boy now man standing in front of you sighed as if he carried the weight of the world with him. “You should know I would never hurt you.”
You scoffed at him. You would have been naive to believe him and you weren’t a child anymore. Hell, you came here to kill the king.
“How could I be sure? It’s been years, Xukun, and you were nowhere! You gave no signs that you were alive and here you are, in an enemy clan serving their ruthless ruler?!” you spat at him and you knew that your words were harsh, that your tone was cold but honestly, you knew a barely 18 years old boy and not the young man who was in front of you. You were conflicted to say the least.
“Zhang Yixing isn’t ruthless,” Xukun corrected you. Of all things you said, he found this the most obnoxious thing you had told him out of all, he decided to correct that. You wondered why. Why was he loyal to him? Why when you had only known him to be a murderer and someone who dared you to show him her best shot?
“Isn’t he? Then how does he keep destroying these nations around us? He burnt the Moon Clan to the ground for the deities’ sake!” your voice rose by the end and you had to remind yourself to stay quiet. It would have been a scandal if someone knew you had a man in your room while your fiance was away. Your whole plan would have gone down the gutter if your reputation was ruined just like that. But you heard all the stories: the massacre in the West, the burnt towns in the South, the sunk ships at the sea. They were his doing or so people said.
“That… that wasn’t him,” Xukun objected, so sure of himself that it almost made you feel sick. “And it’s a war either way. There are no saints here. Your father isn’t one either.”
You knew how wars were fought, you knew that everybody including you was a sinner, you had both grown up in a world where you knew nothing but neverending fights, losing loved ones and never knowing safety. Yet, when the boy who your father thought of fondly dared to call him out, anger flared in you.
“My father sent his only daughter to marry a tyrant to save his people from suffering, so don’t talk about him like you knew him!”
Maybe it wasn’t what you said but how you said it, the sword you still hadn’t let go of trembling in your hand but Xukun paused, licked his lip in consideration and his voice was softer when he continued:
“I can prove that Zhang Yixing isn’t as ruthless as you think he is,” he claimed but you didn’t really care about that. You wanted to know why he was there, in the Dragon Clan instead at what you had known as a home.
“Does it have something to do with why you never came back? Like you promised,” you reminded him, sounding bitter at the memory. Gosh, you had been such a child. But who could have blamed you? He smiled and it tipped your whole world back then. But he just visibly gulped now, so you must have been right.
“I owe him my life,” he said curtly and you sucked in a breath, wondering whether he meant it figuratively or literally. You didn’t have to ask, Xukun kept talking as if now that he started, a river flood. “When the Phoenix Clan attacked us 5 years ago, I was captured. They must have known that my father was a general and they wanted to get to him. When they took me in front of their leader, Yixing was also there, barely a boy not much older than me, caught while sneaking into the tent while stealing maps on a mission for his father. They confused him for someone from the Jade Clan and thought he came for me. They let him go to pass a message to my father and then they left me in the desert far enough from the battlefield with an open wound. I was so sure I would die.”
You had imagined before how it happened. How he died, or so you had thought. You’d had nightmares about it. Seeing his beautiful eyes wide open in shock and pain. You’d imagined it on the battlefield but his body was never found. The nearby river had been red though, so you thought maybe… But it was all wrong. He was never really there.
Xukun unconsciously touched his abdomen with a grimace on his face and you wondered whether he felt the phantom pain of the stab but he kept talking without addressing that.
“The next thing I remember is waking up to being carried on horseback and Yixing yelling for a medic. I wouldn’t have thought he would come back for me, we didn’t even know each other after all,” he stopped short at that as if he was still dumbfounded that the heir of the Dragon Clan saved him then. Honestly, in his place you had been too. Maybe Yixing hadn’t had his reputation back then but you were still enemies. “When the royal medic told him I’m a lost case, he took me to a shaman and they made me drink something that cured my wound by the next day.”
“Dragon blood,” you whispered in shock when Xukun gave you a meaningful look.
There was no other way but the magical powers of dragons. Although there were more rumours than credible sources on that, nobody denied that any essence of the heavenly, snake-like creature could save lives. But there were too few of them, maybe exactly because humans dared to hunt them down for either their scales, antlers or their blood, you wouldn’t have thought it was still possible. Yixing must have paid a fortune to save someone whom he barely knew.
“See why I can’t go back home?” Xukun asked and mouth open in agapé, you casted your eyes down.
Such medication… such witchcraft was illegal in Jade nation. He would have been branded as a monster and exiled even if he went back. Dragons and creatures like that were considered sacred in your home.
“Where did they even get dragon blood from? Nobody has seen a dragon in years,” you took a shallow breath, trying to work through your messy thoughts.
“What do you think caused the fire at Moon nation?” Xukun asked knowingly and with hope in his eyes resembled the boy you had once known. He hoped you would believe him and you did but it wasn’t easy to digest all this new information.
The two of you just looked at each other in silence, a heavy one, before the sounds of the midnight patrol startled you. Hushed, you blew out the candle light, leaving you in the dark, speaking in hushed voices.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to do but… please, don’t go against Yixing. I might not be able to save you then,” Xukun spoke up, his deep voice echoing in the room, you clenched your hands in fists. As if he was there to save you in the last years when you would have needed him.
“I don’t need you to save me,” you told him, hurt clear in your voice but he didn’t say anything. He left without saying a word, wind whizzing into your room as he became one with the shadows outside. His last words left you wondering. Would he have died for Yixing, even in his place even if the weapon was in your hands?
You told yourself it wasn’t because of Xukun but you didn’t sneak into the king’s quarters in the next few days. Instead you wrote a letter to your father telling him about recent events and what you have found out about the Dragon Clan’s plans based on what you had found in the strategy meeting room. You entrusted one of your best guards with the letter and sent him home.
Days had passed uneventfully then but only until Zhang Yixing and his men came back with news that knocked air out of your lungs: the Eagle Clan attacked the weakened eastern wing of your nation. You knew they had become daring lately no matter how your father wished to keep it a secret from you but it was still all too sudden. Your army wasn’t ready to not only stand guard in case you got attacked from the South but now from the sunrise side as well.
“You cannot tell me to just wait it out!” you rose from your chair at lunch when Yixing told you the news. You felt offended at how calm he was. It must have been just another attack for him, but for you, it was your home.
“What else could a princess do?” he raised an eyebrow at you challengingly and you would have liked to sneer at him.
“I’m not the type of princess you think I am,” you claimed, hating that he probably thought you were used to letting other people fight your battles for you. Just because your father didn’t let you go into the war because you were the sole heir of the clan, it didn’t mean you couldn’t have. But now, as Yixing’s fiancée you didn’t even have much choice. You knew you shouldn’t go against his words or he might dance back on his agreement with your father. But you panicked, so you did the only thing you could possibly do in such a situation. “What do you want? Do you want to marry immediately, so you would help? Or would you let them destroy my home even then?”
You were desperate, so you would have agreed to anything only if he sent a handful of soldiers to help your people. Hell, if you had become the queen you could have commanded them yourself. But the king seemed to have different ideas.
“I will help. On one condition,” he said slowly, tasting every word and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to reveal what he wished from you. “Show me what type of princess you are then. Let’s not lie to each other about these things, Princess.”
Well, you certainly did not expect that.
“What do you mean?” you stuttered and your heart skipped a beat when the man slid an overly familiar envelope onto the table. You were smart enough to not be obvious about what you wanted to discuss with your father but there were still hints in your letter about things you shouldn’t have known if you were just picking flowers and practicing embroidery like an ordinary princess would have.
“You don’t want to marry me,” the man said and even though it was an accusation, he didn’t make it sound like one. And yet…
“You don’t want to marry me either but it hardly matters what we desire. We come from the bloodline of royals, we have our responsibilities to our people. And my people need me,” you slammed your hand on the table, spilled rice wine pouring like melted snow. You caught one of the masked guards - probably Xukun - turning his head towards you at that.
“You don’t want to be a princess,” Yixing continued and it baffled you. As if you had a choice! “You have the heart of a warrior.”
Well, you couldn’t argue that, so you just gulped, looking over the table, at the man who was a mystery to you. What did he want you to say? You couldn’t possibly admit that you planned to kill him.
“Come with me,” the king said as if it was his ultimatum and there was something knowing in his dark eyes when he explained: “Come with me to the front. Fight with me and then I’ll help the Jade Clan.”
His offer was an interesting one, you didn’t quite get his reason but you nodded anyway. You were ready to fight alongside your people but you didn’t even have to look at Xukun to know he was frowning.
You left the next day, at dawn. You took all your guards with you and Yixing added his own as you departed towards the North… your home. You wore your comfortable man clothes, hair swirling in the air around you as you galloped on your horse next to the others. It took about two days to reach the endangered border, so on the night when you had to set up a tent you could be finally alone a bit. Since you were the only woman you got a separate place and nobody should have bothered you but the tent wasn’t empty when you got in there. Gosh, were your guards so imcompetent or how?
“Reckless of you to sneak into my tent. What would your king say?” you asked, words a bit biting. You didn’t have a chance to talk with Xukun ever since that night in your room and you knew, it could have been indecent to exchange words in front of others even if you explained that you knew each other from before.
“I came exactly because of that,” the once boy explained, sitting near your small table as if you had invited him over for tea. Only because you had known him before you noticed his fidgety fingers as a sign of nervousness. “Did you write about me in the letter he got his hands on?”
Oh. So that was what he was worried about. Disappointment made you taste bile in your mouth. You hated this feeling.
“I’m not stupid,” you told him curtly and turned your back on him to indeed pour some boiled water over tea leaves to soothe your nerves. Honestly, you thought about telling your father about Xukun but then you realized you didn’t know what to write. You weren’t sure what you should have. It wasn’t your place to decide and maybe it was for the better if your father still thought that he was dead.
“He… he has a man watching you. He told me he can’t trust me with that,” Xukun who once had jumped to hover above you when a wooden house fell upon the two of you during a heavy storm sounded pained admitting that. You gulped hearing his words and the worry lacing through them. You didn’t want to think of him caring. He disappeared from your life years ago, he didn’t get to worry about you now.
“Why are you telling me this?” you asked, slowly, tentative as you sat by the table across him, putting cups of tea between you. Xukun waited until you looked up, into his deep brown eyes that had the most beautiful golden specks in them you had ever seen. Maybe it was just the lights’ doing but he still took your breath away, unfairly so.
“You need to be careful. He knows you’re up to something,” he pressed, desperate and you forced a smile, a charming, confident one. Oh, Zhang Yixing had no idea what was coming for him if he betrayed you.
“If he helped my people, our people, I wouldn’t have a reason to plot against him, would I?” you voiced out your thoughts, the decision you made on your own. If the king proved to be not as ruthless, just as your old friend claimed, maybe he deserved another chance. So you meant it but Xukun didn’t look convinced.
“Princess, I have something to discuss,” the cold, authoritative voice of the Dragon Clan’s head could be heard from outside and the pace of your heartbeats picked up, whipping your head towards the entrance of your tent then back to Xukun… or where he had been just before. Now, nothing but a smell of smoke lingered after him. You had no idea how he did that.
As it turned out Yixing wanted to discuss the reports he had gotten from the battle and if he had noticed the two cups of steamy tea, he didn’t make a comment on it. The situation was quite bad, the enemy had already gotten over the walls you had pulled up all those years ago. He had already had a man of his own let the Jade Clan general there know that Dragon soldiers were coming to rescue and not to attack, so if things worked out, you could crowd out the attackers from two sides. If you were lucky enough you could bait them towards the river where they were more vulnerable. It didn’t sound like a bad plan at all and hearing Yixing’s strategies, you understood why he had won so many battles but what surprised you was that he didn’t intend to drown everyone in the river or kill them on the spot, he sounded like he hoped they would give up and retreat. You wouldn’t have thought that of the ruthless Zhang Yixing.
Knowing how wars worked was different than being there, in the middle of a battle, sweaty, limbs tired, blood dripping from the end of your sword and a painful bruise blossoming on your left shoulder. You saw red and adrenaline carried you as you shouted and attacked the next man with mace in his hand coming at you.
“Princess!” Someone screamed and you dodged the sword aiming at you just in time but its owner stepped closer, pushing you backwards on the slippery ground. You weren’t strong enough to push him back.
“Princess, huh? How interesting,” the man, covered in dirt and blood not his own, grinned at you, a hand clasping his hand around your throat, squeezing hard. You gasped, clawing at his arm with your free hand because he pushed the one that held the sword close to your chest with his. For the first time in your life, you felt powerless even with a weapon in your hand. You tried to kick and get away from the soldier but you couldn’t and felt disgusted by the names this disgusting leech called you.
You didn’t know how long you had fought back but the noises of the battle started to fade out when suddenly the man was yanked away from you but you still felt his blood splatter across your cheek as a sword pierced through his chest. Panting, gasping for air, you stared at Xukun behind the fallen soldier and he stared back at you, eyes glowing dark and golden. You smelled something burning...
You heard the screams before you had seen the source of sudden panic and shock.
You looked up to where everybody was pointing while running and you had seen a huge dragon appearing above the walls of Jade. Its fur and scales were dark like the night sky except a few gilded ones that looked like burning fire from afar while his antlers were long and ivory. It was terrifying yet beautiful. Its honey-coloured eyes gazed down upon you mere humans and it seemed to have a concrete target in its mind as it flew above you rippling the water and air behind.
Xukun grabbed your arm, trying to pull you away but his touch felt burning too and you couldn’t take your eyes off the dragon that halted in the air, levitating just above the ground, its huge head merely an arm away from Zhang Yixing who stood there alone, unmoving. It reminded you of the day when you threw your hairpin at him, how calm he was and you still couldn’t believe what you saw when the Dragon Clan’s leader lifted a hand and put it on its head as if he was trying to discipline a dog.
Thunder roared above and Xukun managed to pull you away now that everyone had scattered all over hell's half-acre. He took you farther, inside the wall of your nation and you only noticed that he must have been hurt when he stumbled and you had to catch him before he fell.
“Kun!” you shrieked, scared, the old nickname slipping naturally as you put his arm around your shoulder and pulled him inside of a half-destroyed house nearby. Your hands trembled as you let him sit down and then looked around to look for a lantern to light it.
In the dim lit room you kneeled next to the guard, his clothing soaked with his blood and you could see sweat forming on his forehead. How did it happen, you questioned, but it wasn’t the important thing. With a shaky breath, you reached out to peel off the bloody material from his chest to see the sword cut across one shoulder. You hissed seeing the fresh wound and all that blood. You cursed in frustration.
“Shh… it’s okay,” the boy whispered with droopy eyes, taking your hand, weakly pushing it away from the cut.
“It’s not okay,” you argued and you could feel tears in the corner of your eyes. Did he get hurt while trying to get to you? Did he forget to pay attention to himself because he saw you? You felt guilty and you hated that, you didn’t want to be the reason why he was hurt.
“There’s something you should know…” Kun coughed and grunted at the pain flashing through him. He had his eyes shut, teeth clenched and it hurt to look at him. “I– I heal faster than normal… The dragon blood that saved me…”
“I know,” you cut him off, not wanting him to exhaust himself with speaking. You could see him struggle, his eyes bright gold when he opened them briefly. His blood was working its magic.
To be honest, you didn’t know, you just had a guess up until now. His golden flashing eyes, the warmth radiating off him, how fast and soundless he could move or disappear leaving only smoke behind… It was because of the dragon inside of him.
There were legends saying that if a person spared a dragon, it would be bound to him for life and the blood of an alive dragon in a human would create a connection between the two. A connection that could call the other half if one felt threatened. Although it was just a theory, with the intensity of Kun’s eyes on you, the beautiful burning fire in his pupils made you believe you were right, that the dragon appeared because he feared for you.
There was a short cut growl leaving the boy’s mouth and you grabbed his hand, letting him squeeze yours while you could see his skin basically knitting itself back together, the wound closing in as if it had never been there. It might have been only a few minutes but it felt too long with how much it seemed to hurt the boy you had just saved your life. When it was over and he opened his eyes, they were plain brown again – your favourite though – and he looked tired.
Oh, thank the deities, you let out a relieved choked sound and you didn’t even notice you had been crying until Xukun didn’t wipe your tears off your cheek. He looked at you as if he had seen you for the first time, properly at least and you felt your lips tremble. Heavens, you had mourned him once and now you almost lost him again. Suddenly, a rush of emotions rippled through your body, your fingers tentatively touching the freshly healed skin.
“You’re so warm,” you whispered in awe since his skin was hotter than expected and you knew it wasn’t fever caused by the wound.
“Princess...” he muttered oh so gently and his hand, wet with your tears, slipping from your cheek to your neck, caressed your skin just like his voice caressed your soul.
“No,” you stopped him firmly and when confusion flashed in his orbs you told him to call you by your own name. It was a command, a request, a plea. It was everything and a sweet little nothing at the same time.
Kun’s eyes widened at the permission but pushed himself away from the wall to lean closer and he sighed your name into the seam of your mouth. You closed your eyes feeling his hot breath tingling on your lips and when he kissed you, you melted against him like wax melted near fire.
Once the storm passed, you could still feel Kun’s touch on you. It was like a vivid memory and it tasted sweet on your tongue even if you knew you were being naive.
You didn’t talk about it. About what it meant because you both knew you couldn’t. But you were stupid enough to forget about your other problems when you had seen the retreating army. Your people could be a bit more safe at least for a little while.
“Cai Xukun!” Another guard called out when he caught sight of his comrade next to you. He looked panicked and it scared you. What now? The man walking up to your duo looked at you warily before answering the question about his worried expression. “The king is injured.”
Oh. Interesting how it was what you had wanted since you had left home but now that Zhang Yixing was bedridden, you found yourself worrying and by the looks of it Kun too. The two of you were escorted to the king who lay on a makeshift bed, chest wrapped with a cloth that he had already bled through.
“What happened?” you questioned, looking from one soldier to another. This didn’t look like something caused by the dragon’s claws or teeth, it was definitely a human-caused injury and your guess was confirmed when one of the men told you that while he was trying to calm the dragon, someone from afar shot an arrow through him. It made you anxious because what if they captured the dragon? What would that have meant to your people, to Kun?
“And the dragon?”
“It chased them away and is probably in the mountains,” the man said and that made you a bit relieved even though you weren’t sure you were allowed to feel that while your fiance was bleeding out only a few steps from you. You nodded in acknowledgement and made a hand movement to excuse the soldiers. Soon, you were left with only Xukun in the room.
“Why isn’t he healing? Doesn’t he...” you looked at the boy, not understanding why the injury took its toll on the king when Xukun healed within an hour. Was it some kind of special arrow damped in poisonous liquid? Was it...
“No,” The guard cut your words off but you could already tell by the look on his face that it wasn’t how you thought. “He saved the dragon and it now serves him but he never got its blood and I… I think the dragon is hurt, too.”
“What?” you were dumbfounded how he could tell something like that when you had left the field together, so he couldn’t have known about this. Not by seeing it happen. But as Xukun clenched his hand in front of his chest as if he was hurting, you started to understand. They were indeed connected after all.
“I can feel it. I can’t explain but its energy...”
A hurt dragon in the mountains. A hurt king in the desert. Gosh, things really weren’t on the path you hoped them to be. You suddenly weren't sure what worried you more.
“Do you think the dragon is in danger?” you turned to Kun, fingers fidgeting with the handle of your sword by your side. If those from before knew that they managed to wound the creature, were they looking for it? Anyone who got control over a dragon could have immense power, you didn’t even want to think about it. Especially the dragon that had this special connection with the boy beside you. “Go then. Help the dragon!”
He seemed surprised and conflicted at your nudging. He didn’t move, eyes flickering to the bed behind you.
“But Yixing...” His protest fell short when you quickly explained:
“I will stay with him and wait for the medic,” you promised but weren’t sure Xukun trusted you with something like this until he reached out to take your hands in his. His palm was warm like every other part of him too, his fingers felt nice against your dirtied, dry skin. He squeezed your hand gently in agreement.
“Call for a shaman, too,” he added and you nodded with a lump in your throat. You needed to get prepared for any kind of situation.
You could have been called a loyal fiancée based on how you spent day and night next to Yixing, watching over his recovery. However, he didn’t get much better over the course of days and you didn’t hear about Xukun either. The only reassuring thing was that you weren’t attacked there, at the border of three Clans. You couldn’t leave either way because the king wasn’t well enough for such a long voyage and you wanted to be as close as the mountains anyway.
The medic said the arrow hit Yixing so close to his heart that it was a miracle that he was still breathing and it scared you more than you had expected. You let him change the bandage and stayed by the unconscious man, putting fresh wet cloth over his feverish forehead.
That night, marking the third without Xukun, the king stirred awake.
You looked up from your place beside his bed, startled. It was the first time he seemed more conscious than just to drink a bit of water or ginger soup because his eyes looked alert. For the first time since you had met him, he seemed scared.
“The dragon...” he croaked out with a hoarse voice due to not speaking for days.
“Xukun is looking after it,” you told him reassuringly and held a metal cup to the king’s chin, urging him to drink a bit. He gulped down the fresh water as if it was healing potion and once he finished with the entire cup, he fell back onto the sheets with a painful sigh. Closing his eyes, he traced his ribs until he reached the bloody bandage over his wound and hissed. He must have suffered more than he showed.
“I would have never thought I would have my fiancée look after me after a battle,” the man whispered, deep voice weak and uncertain, a little playful though. Although his words were conveying the truth, it made you feel like someone who committed adultery. You knew you didn’t swear either loyalty nor love to each other with the king but after learning how he had saved your first love from certain death, you didn’t want to do something like this to him. You needed to come clean even if the timing was quite off.
“With all due respect, Zhang Yixing, I’m afraid I can't marry you,” you said quietly, expecting a frown or a scolding but none of it came. Maybe because he was injured but he didn’t react at all and for a moment you thought he had fallen back asleep but then he slowly opened his eyes again and turned his head to be able to look you in the eye.
“I had a feeling,” he nodded calmly. He didn’t seem angry nor disappointed. He had already said your father’s proposal was an odd one, one with interesting timing. There was nothing interesting about it, it was just a strategy, a plan you didn’t want to follow anymore. But before you could have spoken up, to apologize, to ask whether it meant your alliance was off, Yixing continued: “Xukun treasures you too much. He was the one who urged me to trust your father.”
“He… Did he tell you about me before we met?” Words stumbled out of your mouth before you could have stopped them. You were more than dumbfounded to know that. Had Xukun known about your father’s wish to marry you to Zhang Yixing even before he agreed? Was it him because of whom the king agreed at all? And here you thought that he had been just another guard, loyal to his king until death.
“He talked about you all the time,” the man reminisced with a faint smile on his lips as he stared at the ceiling. “He always says how I saved his life back then but with him here, not being able to return home, I feel like I have taken his life instead. Taking you from him would have been even worse.”
You cast your eyes down bashfully as you listen to him talk. Yixing’s side of the story was an interesting one as well. Learning how he didn’t save Xukun out of the kindness of his heart but because he wanted intelligence was something you could understand, something you could relate to as you lived in a world like that after all. You couldn’t even be angry, not when he told you how they had become friends over the years. As the king drifted back to sleep, you thought that maybe you could become friends as well, maybe you could still be allies. You didn’t necessarily have to be enemies.
But once being enemies, it was hard to forget and not everybody had the same insights as you.
You woke up to a small noise, only to open your eyes to see one of your own soldiers from Jade Clan stepping inside the tent. You had always felt safe next to your guards but this time, something was off.
“What are you doing here?” you questioned as you sprang to your feet from the seat you accidentally fell asleep in.
“Princess,” the guard bowed with respect. Though, he was clearly surprised to see you still there and you could see the hint of hesitation in his eyes before he answered. “I am here as per your father’s wish.”
You furrowed your brows. You hadn’t been notified of anything like this.
“My father’s wish?” you raised a brow, looking at the man expectantly but he didn’t reply, not with words at least. Instead he took out a small glass bottle with familiar yellow-ish liquid inside. It made the blood freeze in your veins.
“That wasn’t the plan,” you reminded the man even though you hadn’t even known your father told anybody else about it. Didn’t he trust you or…
“It wasn’t your plan but your father had doubts whether you could do it with a cold heart. That’s why he sent me,” your guard informed you dutifully and your brain kept coming up with reasons why this was a terrible idea. It would have been much easier if Zhang Yixing was indeed the tyrant you had imagined him but after learning about his personality and starting to form an amicable acquaintance with him, it just didn’t make sense.
“I’m not the queen yet,” you objected but the guard didn’t seem to care.
He explained how the public sentiment had changed in your favour just because you stayed with the injured king in the last few days and there was something in his explanation that was quite logical: if Yixing passed away now, nobody would have looked for a murderer because he was already on his deathbed. Nobody would have known he didn’t die from the arrow. Nobody needed to know. But… it wasn’t the plan. If he died then, without a queen or heir, the Dragon Clan would remain without a leader and neighbouring nations would all want their pieces of it. If they got to know about the dragon too…
“It’s a chance we can’t waste. We need to prioritize the safety of Jade Clan,” your guard reminded you and for a moment you were stuck. If it hadn’t been for Xukun, you might have done it within a heartbeat, not even considering other options because Zhang Yixing was a dangerous man but now… you were torn, unsure what to believe. Your uncertainty must have been written on your face because your guard pushed the bottle into your hands, encouraging you to make a move and you gulped, too busy with your internal turmoil to react fast enough when you got company.
Four of the masked guards of Yixing stepped into the tent, one of them immediately slicing the throat of your man which made you scream. Two guards held you back from behind, not letting you move, to get any weapon while another one walked up to you, his dark eyes trained on you, his bloody dagger aimed at your throat. He forced the little glass bottle out of your hands.
“There was always something off with you, Princess. You should have been hung the moment you dared to fling your hairpin at the king,” he said, disgusted and you couldn't quite blame him. You raised your chin though, proud because as a royal it was expected of you even when you looked into the eyes of death. You weren't afraid of dying, you had walked out to the battlefield earlier with that mindset too, it was just… you wished you could have said goodbye to Kun.
You knew that the only reason the guard didn't kill you off like he did with your man was because you were a royal. If you died by a hand of a guard of the Dragon Clan, you knew your father would have gone to war against them and you also knew he would have lost which broke your heart even more.
"So what now? Will you kill me too, in the name of justice because one of my men blabbered? You have no idea what we even talked about!" you accused the guard of making a scene over nothing because as of now prolonging the conversation was your best chance. Either Yixing could wake up and stop them, if he believed you didn't want to hurt him any more, or your other guards could show up as well.
"I have a good enough guess, Princess, but of course, you can prove your innocence by drinking this. If it isn't poison, you have nothing to lose, am I right?" the man turned the small glass bottle between his fingers. You didn't show reaction to that even though you knew you were going to die if you drank it all. But at least it was said to be a fast killer. You were contemplating whether you should have taken it and then spit it out saying it was bitter for your 'princess taste' because he wouldn't have been able to prove anything then. He could still kill you though but maybe it was worth a chance.
However, before you could have decided the tent's entrance flew open and a very dishevelled looking Xukun showed up. He looked like he was running and hadn't slept properly in days. The presence of guards, his comrades, seemed to surprise him, the dagger at your throat even more.
"What's going on here?" he asked in an authoritative voice even though you weren't sure he had a bigger rank just because he was friends with Yixing.
"The princess and her guard were caught trying to poison the king."
"That's not true!" You protested heavily looking for eye contact with Xukun, hoping he would believe you. It was all just a terrible misunderstanding. Once you might have wanted to cause harm but you had no reason anymore, not if you signed the Lotus pact with Yixing like you had agreed. When you met Kun's gaze, it was confused but not unkind.
"Then prove it, Princess," the older man said and pushed the blade closer to your neck where your earlier scar was still visible. The situation seemed to scare Xukun but you didn't want him to save you again, you only needed him to believe you. He seemed to think differently though.
"Let her go and lower your weapon, we don't have time for this," he stood in front of you pushing the man's hand away and flashing his golden eyes at the guards you kept you caged. Their hands immediately loosened their hold as Kun lifted his bag. "I have the dragon blood. Where is the shaman?"
One of the guards ran off with the bag to fetch the shaman but you could only breathe peacefully for a moment. Then the masked man with a slit across his eye crowded you and Xukun into a corner.
"My bad. Why would I have thought that you of all people can be rational? Do you think you were so discreet about disappearing, just the two of you? Are you maybe in it too? Did the two of you, Jade bastards, plan to get rid of our king to take over?" With each of his words, he poked Kun's chest with his index finger until the younger swatted his hand away. His voice didn't waver as he answered:
"If you really think that after all the fights we fought together, I feel very distraught," he said with his voice so cold like you never heard it before. Xukun's pride must have been on the line with his loyalty being questioned just because of his connection – maybe affection? – to you because the next thing you knew was him grabbing the glass bottle out of the other man's hand. "You know what? I'll prove it to you!"
“Kun, no!” You grabbed his hands in panic, closing your fingers around his, so he couldn't lift the poison to his lips. Was he crazy? Did he want to die just for you to follow?
Or oh… he believed you. He really believed you and that it wasn't poison in the first place or maybe he believed you had nothing to do with it and knew nothing of it because when his eyes locked with yours, he seemed surprised that you stopped him.
You were both startled when the shaman arrived with the finished potion but before he could have stepped to the injured king, the man in front of you lifted his hand. Although you couldn't see his mouth, you would have bet he pulled it into a malicious smirk.
"Ah look at that, trying to save him from harm, how touching," he tsked, mocking before he pointed at the potion in the shaman hands and then at the bottle in Xukun's. “How about this? One cup has dragon blood that could save the Dragon Clan’s last son. The other which you claim isn't poison was retrieved from your room by your own guard. Choose wisely, Princess, what to give our king because your hero will drink the other one.”
“Why are you doing this?” you shrieked, having enough of this mind game of his. You knew he was just a loyal guard of Yixing and you couldn't blame him for not trusting you but did he have to go this far to make you suffer?
“I cannot let the filthy Jade Clan take over the Dragon Clan. So you either save him or be executed for killing him which was your original plan, wasn’t it?”
"Save the king, Princess," Xukun told you, determined and maybe he had a plan, a better one than you or at least you hoped. You looked him in the eyes mouthing Please don't at him but he just smiled. How could he act so nonchalant? "Trust me," he whispered.
You let go of his hands and maybe it was a mistake because he had told you: he owed Yixing his life. You barely stepped to the bed of the king, lifting his head to help the shaman give him the potion when you heard glass breaking. When you lifted your head you saw Xukun swaying, barely grabbing on a chair to stop him from falling and the broken glass was by his feet. The liquid from inside was nowhere which meant…
"Kun!" you screamed trying to run up to him, to help, to do anything but the guards turned towards you with their sword out and you could only do one thing, listen to the boy who had once saved you when the stable's roof collapsed onto you, he hovered over your body with his to save you from the impacts of the falling pieces. He always did.
So when Kun told you to run, you ran. Back to your own tent to get your sword to be able to fight off and it was ridiculous how only a few days ago you fought alongside these men but now they wanted to kill you. Oh, how fast the tables turn but maybe you deserved this, maybe you deserved to die for killing the boy you loved since you had been 16 and had given him your first kiss under the stars. You might not have a future but you wanted to believe nevertheless, but you ruined it all.
You felt tears running down on your cheeks as you dodged the daggers and swords coming your way, hissing when one managed to cut your arm. You ran, you didn't look where, you just wanted to get away. If you killed Yixing's men, peace wouldn't have been an option, so you needed to escape, that was the only way to stop another war.
You stumbled when a huge shadow overtowered you and heard the scared muffled sounds of the soldiers following you as well. Gulping, you looked up at the majestic dragon in front of you, its nostrils flaring and smoke coming out of its mouth as it huffed. It stood above you, staring at the soldiers behind you as if… as if it was protecting you. It made you feel safe, like Xukun, and gosh, you just cried harder because he was trying to save you even now. You fell onto your knees, not knowing what to do with this information and then…
"It isn't nice of you to chase my fiancée away from me, is it?" Yixing roared in a forever calm voice and through your tears you could barely believe your eyes when you saw him walk towards you. And not just him, it was Xukun who helped him move because he must have still been in pain. But how?
The masked guards seemed just as flabbergasted as you were. But Kun, oh the deities, Kun looked almost smug as he passed by them after Yixing pushed him towards you. Then he ran, ran until he knelt next to you, taking your face into his hands. You touched him as if you didn't believe he was real.
"I didn't want to…"
"I know," he assured you with a stupid smile on his stupid face like he did back in that ruined house where he kissed you like you were his life line.
"I can't believe you drank the poison! How could you be sure your blood would fight it off?" you whisper-yelled at him, hitting his chest all too weakly and he laughed, too. The nerve of him!
"I wasn't but Princess, I would drink poison over and over again if it tasted like you," he said with a smirk and you would have bet Yixing told him about your agreement because otherwise he wouldn't have been so daring. Or was it the near death experience? Or the thought of losing each other all over again? The wars might have been still messy, politics stressing, but in that moment, you didn't care, you just closed your eyes and kissed Kun back when he pressed his lips against yours, happily burning with him.
a/n: hi so this was requested. i like the story. im v slow. but i’m slowly getting there fellaaaaaas.
pairing: cai xukun x reader (gender neutral)
genre: fluff
trigger warning: animals?
it was almost 6pm and xukun still wasn't here. you were mindlessly looking at the ceiling, laying on the couch in your empty apartment, waiting for your boyfriend. xukun and you had been together for now eleven months, or maybe one year, you couldn't remember the exact date.
xukun was supposed to go out with some friends today, and he had told you that he would be home at 5pm. but he was one hour late and god knew that you hated when he was late.
you were now looking at the floor. 6:30pm. xukun was indeed late and that was very mean of him, since he knew that you were really protective.
suddenly, someone knocked at the door, and that person entered. it was xukun, you had recognized him by his footsteps. he was staying in the corridor, mumbling things to himself that you couldn't understand.
- where have you been?! i’ve been waiting for you for one hour and a half that's so fucking mean, you could’ve called me-
you were ready to let out all of the stress you had to suffer from during the afternoon, but his soft voice cut you off.
- please, don't scream at me, i know i'm late. i had problems with the gift i wanted to give you, so it took me a bit -a lot- of time. i hope you won't be too angry.
xukun, sheepishly, entered the living room where you were. he was dumbly smiling at you, and he seemed to be hiding something big behind him.
- when we got together, exactly one year ago, you jokingly told me that if we stayed together one year, i had to buy you a pet. so... he brought the cage he was hiding behind him in front of him, and put it on the floor. i bought you this kitten. i hope you still want a cat, because i actually like her a lot already.
you couldn't believe it. xukun actually had an awesome memory. he had remembered something you told him ages ago for you guys’ one year anniversary. before paying attention to the small ball of fur now exploring the living room with her little paws, you ran into xukun’s arms to hug him.
- i feel so bad for not remembering our one year, kun. you felt him laughing quietly, so you knew he wasn't upset at your reaction. you're really the best person i've ever met, i love you so so so so so much baby.
xukun wasn't saying anything, he was kind of emotional at the moment. all of a sudden, he decided to carry you, his beautiful significant other to the couch to cuddle and to watch you guys’ new companion.
- how are we going to name her, kun?
- mhhhh, what about something exotic? like, something that would remind us and only us of something, an inside joke but a couple one.
your boyfriend laughed, while playing with your fingers and your hand.
- okay so let's go for this. let’s find a cool name. but you'll be the one explaining to your friends why this kitten is named weirdly and not something normal.
he giggled, and softly kissed you.
- i don't mind explaining it to them, it's like my child. our child. is that too much? anyway, i won’t mind because this kitten has a part of you in it and you're the person i'm the most proud of in this world.
- how chessy, cai xukun, you said while both of you were laughing. but we still need to find her a name.
He was so soft, so sweet and kind. Yet the moment he gets a mic, the moment he steps on stage; he’s a completely different person.
——
Cai Xukun is the definition of duality.
Cai Xukun dominates the stage the moment he gets on it. He radiates confidence and power. Every step, every breath, every word, every lyric is done with a purpose. The purpose to accomplish his dream. Xukun’s body proportions, long legs, and beautiful face was envied by many. He is handsome and he knows. His makeup had to be perfection before he got on stage, his eyes smoked out and his plump lips covered with lip balm. The suggestive lyrics and sensual choreography made him seem bold.
Offstage, Xukun was the exact opposite of his stage persona. He was happy and joked around. He was giggling nonstop and no longer had an intimidating aura, it was now just one that was soft and kind just like him. Xukun was your boyfriend that went on a snack run at the nearest convenience store because neither of you could sleep. He was the one that even if you were both on your phones or computers doing things, he’s still lean against you and squeak when you randomly kissed him.
You loved both sides of him. Even though it gets frustrating to see a picture of him on stage and then look up and see him making weird faces at you. But you wouldn’t change anything about him. You loved waking up in his arms in the mornings, the rays of the sun illuminating his face. The gentle kisses before he left for practice and when he got back. The quick pecks you give each other. Each and every one made your boyfriend smile, his cheeks turning to a dark shade of red as his heart speeds up.
“Y/N do you prefer me on stage or off stage?” Xukun’s question caught you off guard but you answered without hesitation. “I like both sides of you. Of course, I don’t mind you being sexy on stage but I also really like regular Xukun. I fell in love with you because of both sides of you, not just one.” You spoke truthfully.
It was quiet for a moment. You let out a squeal as Xukun picked you up from where you were laying between his legs and flipped you so you were facing him and straddling his hips. One kiss after another was being placed on your face, you giggled at the feeling of his lips. The final kiss was placed on your lips. You stared into Xukun’s eyes, feeling yourself get lost in the sea of brown and gold.
“I love you Y/N. Thank you for loving all of me.” A smile graced his stunning features. You cupped his head in your hands before pressing a kiss to his forehead, nose, and then finally his lips. The kiss was no longer playful. It was filled with love, passion, and every emotion that you felt every time you looked at him. Both of you were panting by the time you finished, smiles on both of your faces.
On stage or off, Xukun was always working to make his fans, his family, and you, proud of him. Every beat, every lyric was wrote and edited to perfection to prove himself. From the screams of the fans to the sound of your voice was what cheered Xukun on. Every step, every breath, every word, every lyric, is done with a purpose. Xukun was more than the stage and he was more than a happy person. He was himself.
Cai Xukun is the definition of duality and you’ll love both sides no matter what.
☆ characters: best friend!xukun & you
☆ genre: friends to lovers, fluff
☆ request: F40. from this prompt list
☆ summary: You have a fever, but neither you or Xukun can tell whether it’s due to the cold or you’re just lovesick. (Psst! It’s obviously because of the cold.)
☆ words: 1,2k
☆ dedicated to: @dat-town ♥
A responsible part of you knew that you should have canceled on your best friend when he had asked you about your traditional Saturday lunch slash movie date in the beginning of the week, but when it came to Cai Xukun, your feelings always overpowered your brain. Therefore, regardless of your body yearning for nothing more than endless hours of sleep, when your alarm woke you from your dreams on the first day of the awaited weekend, you willed yourself and resisted the urge to turn it off and fall back on your comfortable pillows just for the sake of five more minutes. Because everyone who knew you was aware that you either got out of bed for the first alarm or an hour later. There was no in-between.
Hair falling onto your shoulders in presentable waves and freezing limbs seeking warmth in a black hoodie and grey sweatpants, this was how you found yourself on the couch with Xukun a few hours later despite your cold. You told yourself that with a light touch of foundation on your skin he wouldn’t notice how pale your face was ever since you had run from the bus stop to your apartment in the heavy rain two days ago and that you could always blame your lack of appetite on how invested you were in the movie. You told yourself that until you smiled and joined in the usual conversations, it would be fine. And for a while, it seemed that you would be able to survive the day without getting caught.
However, this weekend it was your friend’s turn to choose the movie and he managed to pick one with the most cliché friends to lovers plot of history which made it extremely difficult for you to not be hyper aware of his closeness on the couch. All of a sudden, those insecurities the two protagonists needed to deal with became your own insecurities and by the time you noticed that Xukun was stealing side glances at you the whole time during their confessions, it was too late. The smug grin on his face was evident and you felt too hot to think.
Maybe, it could have been avoided if you had pulled the curtains together before the movie had started, but last time you had eaten snacks in the dark with Xukun, there had been melted chocolate patches on your blankets hence neither of you had wanted to risk anything similar. However, cleaning up after a mess like that didn’t sound such a drag anymore when your best friend blurted out the most ridiculous question ever as soon as he turned towards you with his entire body.
‘Are you blushing?’ he asked and your eyes widened in shock when your gaze fell on his lips. He was smirking. He was a hundred percent sure that you were flustered and yet, he chose to throw you under the bus while he was enjoying himself at the cost of your sanity.
‘What? I… no!’ You denied vehemently, but the harder you tried, the less believable you sounded and you were painfully aware of it. Hence, during your long years of friendship with Xukun, you had never wanted the ground to swallow you up at whole more desperately than you did now which was ridiculous because he had already seen you stumble over your words in the middle of an oral exam and faint in front of the entire class before the teacher could have graded your performance.
‘Yeah sure, so those cheesy lines have nothing to do with the col…’ he reached towards you cheekily and while you wanted to avoid his touch badly, it was quite impossible with a decent amount of snacks in your lap.
‘Xukun, please! Stop before the bowl falls again,’ you tried to warn him, but he didn’t listen and soon, he cupped your cheeks with his hands. Staring deep into his chocolate brown orbs, you froze like a deer caught in headlights and for a second, you could have sworn that he did the same. But then he furrowed his brows and the spell broke.
‘Hey, why are you so hot?’ He asked and this time, it was your turn to act confused. Had your crush just called you hot as if you hadn’t looked like a couch potato in your oversized hoodie and sweatpants? Had Xukun really just… ‘Are you sick? Why are you so hot?’ He repeated the question when you refused to answer, pressing his lips to your forehead to check whether you had a fever or not.
You tried to tell the boy that you were fine, but it was as though an invisible switch had been turned on inside of his head. He insisted on bringing you some medicine from the pharmacy two corners from your apartment right after you finished the remaining six minutes of the movie and cooking you some ginger garlic soup despite his awful history with your stove. He even tucked you in bed once you were well fed, not caring about the mess on the couch or in the kitchen, but sticking by your side with a wet cloth in his hands.
It didn’t take long for the medicine to kick in. You felt dizzy and lightheaded under the pile of blankets rather soon, a drowsy smile hiding in the corner of your mouth. You were swinging from consciousness to unconsciousness, unable to tell dreamland from reality as you held a hand out for your best friend and touched his wrist with your fingertips. He felt so unreal. His undivided attention felt so unreal.
‘Stop being so sweet. My heart can’t take it,’ you mumbled under your nose, whiny, however the complaint was too weak to be taken seriously. At least, Xukun didn’t do so when he leaned above you and changed the lukewarm, damp cloth on your forehead to a colder one. ‘I wish you would have never seen me like this. I’m a mess,’ you kept going with a sad twitch of your lips that churned the boy’s heart.
‘A pretty mess,’ he reassured you and to emphasize his words, he fondled your flushed cheek with his thumb before he pulled his hand back and let it fall into his lap.
‘No. And now, there’s no way you’ll ever fall in love with me,’ you reasoned, still thinking that his attention and tenderness was too good to be real hence it wasn’t. The Cai Xukun you knew would have teased the hell out of you if you had confessed your feelings for him in such a lame way. It wouldn’t have mattered that you were sick.
‘What?’
‘Go away,’ you whined and pushed him with your hand weakly because the confused look on his face irritated you a lot. Dream Xukun irritated you a lot. Hence, without any further ado, you pursed your dry lips and turned your back to him, hiding under the blankets and falling asleep for real not a minute later.
And while there were hardly a handful of things Xukun wouldn’t have done for you, he didn’t go away. How could he have done so? That one person he treasured the most in the world had just told him that she wanted him to fall for her. He had to be right by your side when you got better so that he could tell you that you had nothing to worry about. He had already fallen for you a long time ago.
[22:38] you curl up on the couch in the blankets that you stole from the bed hours ago. this long distance shit didn’t get easier over time like you saw so many people say. living in what sometimes felt a foreign country, away from your family, your hometown, everyone you knew... you have friends, yes, but with work and conflicting schedules it isn’t always easy to distract yourself from the loneliness. it eats at you slowly, savoring every bite. you’re grateful of course that he’s in the same country and not half a world away like you’ve seen with other idols and their partners, but being a plane ride away from him isn’t the same as him being in your shared apartment everyday like he was before.
you sniffle, trying to stop the tears from spilling over, and you reach for tissues. the light from the tv was the only thing that illuminated the darkness surrounding you, too wrapped up (literally and physically) to turn on the lights when night fell. you miss the sound of the door opening and shoes being exchanged for slippers. it isn’t until a bag is dropped at in the doorway that you realize someone else is there.
“yn,” his voice calls softly from behind you. “is everything okay?” the worry evident in his voice, coating every word, every syllable, like a glaze on the decorative flower vases littering the apartment, shatters you.
you let out a quiet, “no,” before a sob escapes your mouth unintentionally. a silence falls as you try in vain to keep quiet.
“love,” xukun says, coming to the front of the couch and folding himself into the tangle you created. “i’m here.” he holds you to him, wanting to give you any comfort he can. “what’s wrong, my love?”
you press your ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and shake your head to let him know you weren't ready to talk about it just yet. he hums to let you know he understood and just pulls you tighter to him.
you let the sobs wrack your body as he holds you tight and lets you know he is here, that he isn’t going anywhere. in the strength of his embrace, you let yourself fall apart. after all, he will be there to help you pick up the pieces later.
You wake up to the sound of rain falling on the window. Looking around, you notice the room was much dimmer than when you had fallen asleep. Reaching for your phone to check the time, you hear the low murmur of voices in the other room. You squint at the brightness from your phone’s screen and see you still have a little over a half hour before your alarm was set to go off. You drop your phone to the bed and were about to go back to sleep when you hear what sounds like your name. You half sit-up in interest, the sleep that you were about to finish leaving your mind.
You slide out of the bed and creep towards the door, careful to be quiet. Yes, you know eavesdropping is bad and you’ve rolled your eyes when you read or watch something where this situation happens, but god, it’s different when it’s you in the situation. You pull open the door, light from the living room barely making it to your feet, and listen.
“...I just don’t understand,” Linong says, sounding slightly frustrated. “Why can’t you tell them?”
“He’s worried, bro,” Ziyi says and you hear a glass being set down. Ziyi and his protein drinks, you think wryly to yourself.
“Okay,” Linong starts again, “but it’s not as if YN would turn you down?”
“Yes, they would.” You hear Xukun’s voice for the first time in the conversation. He sounded like someone had just stepped on his white shoes.
“You look like someone just stepped on your white shoes,” Linong says bluntly.
You assume that Xukun made a face based off of the light choking noises Ziyi was making.
After they checked on Ziyi, the conversation resumed. “You should tell them,” he says, his voice still a little rough.
“I can’t.”
“Xukun, why can’t you?” Linong asks, definitely upset at this point. Your eyebrows rose. You’ve never heard sweet and lovely Chen Linong ever sound this upset, even when Professor Li in your vocal class last semester told him that the song he had chosen for the end of semester showcase was better suited to Hanyu and then proceeded to give said song to Hanyu.
“Because...because they have Mingming now,” Xukun sounded so defeated.
I “have Mingming now”?? What the fuck is that supposed to mean??? You thought. You refused to hear anymore, suddenly uncomfortable with listening in. Closing the door again, you go back to the bed and grab your phone. Dismissing your alarm, you send a text to Xiaotang.
You: Xioatang love of my life i need help
Mountain Top <3: i thought you were over at the wang-chen apt?? ask one of them for help
Mountain Top <3: theyre closest to you rn
You: hhhhh about that
You: i need you to call one of them and tell them you need me back at the apt and that you couldnt reach me
Mountain Top <3: okay??
You: i will literally explain everything wehn i get back ok ok ok
Mountain Top <3: calling now
You: ilysm i’ll see you soon
You see that you have a notification for other unread messages but you don’t focus on them right now. You scramble back into the bed as you hear Ziyi’s ringtone go off.
Feeling like, feeling like a papill- “Hello?” Ziyi says. A pause. “Oh? Yeah of course, Xiaotang, I’ll go wake them up. Is everything okay?”
You wonder what Xiaotang is telling him but based on his laugh it isn’t something bad.
“Okay, I’ll get them up. You three are still good for karaoke this weekend right?”
Ziyi is such a mother hen oh my god, you giggle silently to yourself.
“Okay, cool. Bye, Xiaotang.” You hear his slippers against the floor moments later. Assembling your limbs in what you hope is a convincing sleep position, you set your phone down closer to your knee. You don’t really move around in your sleep but you hope that Ziyi won’t question it.
“YN,” you hear Ziyi say softly, knocking on the door while pushing it open. You focus on staying as still and sleep-like as possible. “YN,” he says again, gently shaking you.
You waited a few more seconds before mumbling something incoherent.
“YN, Xiaotang called. She said that she wanted to remind you that it’s your monthly roommate hangout night.”
You wait a breath before stiffening as if you just remembered. “I’m awake, I’m awake.”
Ziyi hands you your phone and says, “You should call Xiaotang and let her know you’re awake.” Ruffling your hair with a smile, he left you so you could get redressed in your daytime clothes.
.
You adjust your shirt one last time before making Ziyi’s bed and folding the clothes you borrowed from Xukun. You take a moment to look at your messages and see you have a notification from Mingming. Setting the clothes at the end of the bed, you open the message.
Mingming =^-^=: Hey YN! I’m actually free this Friday if that’s ok ?
You: that sounds fine! what time?
Mingming =^-^=: Is 19:30 alright? We could meet at the sushi place near west campus?
You: the one with the hanging fish sign? ^.^
Mingming =^-^=: Yeah exaclty!
Mingming =^-^=: Exactly*. Sorry heh.
You bite your lip as you type out your response.
You: :3 awesome! see you then~
Turning off your phone, you give the room one last glance to make sure everything was in order. You almost turn to leave when you spot your charger. Aiyah, I can’t believe I almost forgot, you think as you wrap the cord up. Giving a short nod to the room, you open the door and head back to the living room.
Reaching the corner where you had been sitting hours before with your notebook and pens and highlighters out, you see none of your things laying out. Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you look at the boys sitting there. “Hey Linong,” you say, giving a small wave to the other two, “Hey guys, where, uh, where are my things?” You motion vaguely to the spot where you recall everything was before.
“Oh, I packed them up for you when Xiaotang called,” Xukun said offhandedly, glancing up from his phone briefly.
BE, Before Eavesdropping, your heart would’ve, well, not skipped a beat per se but definitely stuttering. However, you would’ve brushed it off as just being a good friend. AE, though...After Eavesdropping...things are different now. You feel your face heating up as you stand frozen there, heart running faster than it used to. When you don’t move after a few seconds, Xukun looks up, his phone sliding down in his hands.
“Is everything okay? I know you don’t like it when we mess with your stuff, but I figured I know enough about how you pack your things that nothing would be too out of place.” He says, eyes boring into yours as he explains himself.
“You know how I...” you say quietly, trailing off as you stared back at his deep brown eyes. Another few breaths pass before you blink rapidly, shaking your head to clear away your confusion. It didn’t help but you were able to gain your bearings for the moment. As you pick up your bag and unzip a pocket to shove your charger in there, you say, “Thanks Xukun-ge,” not realizing in your haste to leave that you slipped back to honorifics with Xukun. You haven’t used them with him since the first like two weeks of your friendship. That was months ago.
Slinging your bag on, you miss the concerned glances the three guys share with each other. You head down the hallway towards the entryway and trade out your slippers for shoes. You look up from where you were adjusting them at the sound of footsteps. Looking up, you see Xukun walking towards you, one sleeve of his sweatshirt pushed up and the other falling down his arm. By the time you straighten up, the sleeve has created a sweater paw on him.
“Are you okay, YN?” He asks, placing his hands on your shoulders. You can feel his worried tension in his fingers.
Taking a breath, you step forward, closing the gap between the two of you. Wrapping your arms around him, you bring him into a hug and mumble into his sweatshirt. “Kunkun, I’m sorry if I worried you...I just...” You hesitate, wondering what to say. You shuffle closer and say, “I just can’t believe I forgot tonight was roommate night. I’m usually so good at remembering things like that.” Your voice was muffled by his clothes but you know that he at least got the sentiment as his hand comes up to pat the back of your head gently.
“I’m sure Xiaotang and Esther won’t be upset. It’s not like you’re missing it,” he reasons.
You pull away with a sad sort of smile, the guilt of tricking them, him, coming up again. You know he can tell that something is wrong, but you assume he just chalks it up to your ‘being late’ for your roommate’s night.
“I have to go, Kunkun. I’ll see you later,” you say, reaching behind you to open the door.
“Bye, YN,” he says, the door closing before he can finish.
By the time you make it to the lobby of their building, the rain had stopped though it was still cloudy out. You sigh as you start your trek to the north end of campus, where your apartment was. You were absolutely certain that Xiaotang and Esther were not going to let you get away with not saying anything.
.
“So why did you need me as an excuse,” Xiaotang asked bluntly as soon as you walked into the living room.
When you had arrived back at the apartment, you ignored Esther and Xiaotang immediately bombarding you with questions, heading immediately to your room to throw on a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt that probably was Zhengting or Justin’s at one point, given the slightly faded Gucci logo across the front.
You sighed, picking at the hem of the shirt, trying to figure out how to explain.
Esther set aside the script she was memorizing for one of her classes. Taking your hand away from the now loose thread, she asked, “Is everything okay?”
You decided to be upfront about it. “I heard Xukun talking with Ziyi and Linong.”
Esther rose her eyebrows, urging you to continue. Xiaotang shifted so that she was behind her, resting her chin on Esther’s shoulder.
“They were talking about me.”
Esther and Xiaotang watched you with rapt attention as you went on to explain what you heard Xukun saying about you...about Mingming.
“...What does it mean?” You finished. “Like, what could he have meant by that? I ‘have Mingming now’?”
Silence settled between you and your roommates as they processed everything you just told them. They both opened their mouths at the same time.
“You should talk to Xukun about what you heard,” Esther said.
“Ignore what you heard, focus on Mingming,” Xiaotang contradicted.
You felt like the Spanish monkey meme, unsure of who to listen to.
Esther started protesting before Xiaotang covered her mouth. “Look at it this way, YN, you’ve liked him for how many months? And he doesn’t even have the nerve to tell you or fight for you because he believes that you’re taken by Mingming now? Focus on Mingming. You said he’s always been upfront with you about how he feels.”
Esther yanked Xiaotang’s hand away from her mouth. “It’s not that simple, Xiaotang. You forget here that he is in the public eye, more than Chengcheng, and definitely more than any of us. If he does anything, he needs to be sure that YN won’t go running at the first sign of difficulty and, most importantly, that YN is fine with a change in social status.” She turns her focus to you. “YN, you should talk to him about what you heard, regardless of whatever conflicting feelings you may have for him and Mingming.”
You look at her, silently begging her to continue.
“You deserve to have all the information in front of you about what decision to make and he deserves to know that you heard what he said. He doesn’t have much privacy to begin with; don’t let him lose this too.”
It was your turn to sit in silence, processing everything. You heard Xiaotang mutter a few curses, saying she hadn’t thought of it that way.
“When did you get so wise?” You half-joked, adjusting your position so you could lean on her.
“I was talking with Chengcheng’s sister for an assignment for class. We ended up talking about deeper things than the assignment called for.” Esther said, leaning back into Xiaotang. “Before we drop this conversation to start our roommate night, do you have anything else to add?”
“Mingming and I have a date Friday. Ouch!” You say, rubbing your shoulder where Xiaotang had hit you.
The tension and serious air dissipated as Xiaotang and Esther complained about how you should’ve led with that before turning to what kind of takeout you should get.
Later that night, as you lie in bed thinking about the day’s events, you make up your mind on what to do, hoping you made the right choice.
.
“Send us a text as soon as you get to the restaurant, wait, no. Send us a text when you see the fish sign,” Esther henned as she styled your hair.
“Don’t you have a film class with him? Why are you motherhenning YN right now?” Xiaotang asked, voice muffled from being neck deep in your closet, looking for a cardigan to match with the outfit she helped you decide on earlier.
Esther’s hands paused as she thought on how to reply. “I don’t talk to him though! He sits on the opposite side with Minghao and Wenxuan.”
“You say these names like we’re supposed to know them,” you teased, Xiaotang making a noise of agreement as she struggled out of the closet.
“Found it!” She exclaimed, holding up a soft, light brown, cropped cardigan. “Wait...” Xiaotang said, looking more closely at it. “Isn’t this mine?”
“Uhh...no?” You looked at her reflection in the mirror, smiling hopefully.
“Don’t stain it,” was all she said in reply, setting it on your bed with the rest of the outfit.
The neutral colors of the outfit gave you ‘a touch of elegance’ according to Xiaotang and Esther kept with the theme when she did your makeup after you got dressed. Very light and natural, emphasizing your eyes the most.
Looking at the time, you saw that you had about 20 minutes before you were supposed to meet Mingming. Opting for a nicer pair of sneakers, you grabbed your bag and bid your roommates goodbye, starting on the 15-ish minute walk to the restaurant.
True to your word, you texted them when you saw the fish sign, the neon lights making it look like it was swimming.
You: i have made it to fish
You: [image attached]
Mountain Top <3: have fun ! dont do anything i wouldnt ;)
Fan Bingbing 2.0: If he does anything off-color, slap him.
Fan Bingbing 2.0: Then call us.
Fan Bingbing 2.0: Or one of the boys.
Fan Bingbing 2.0: Yanjun and Zhangjing live in West Campus.
You: o.o’
You: i think i’ll be alright??? but sure yah ok :]]]
You huff out an amused breath before entering the restaurant, texting Mingming that you had arrived. He replied quickly, telling you to tell the hostess that you were the other half of the Yao reservation. You were led to a table by the windows on the opposite side of where you entered. You saw Mingming playing with his napkin as he waited for you. He glanced up and saw you, standing immediately to say hello. You both thanked the hostess before he pulled out your chair, helping you into it.
“Looks like we’re both early birds, huh,” he said, quirking up an eyebrow.
“Yeah, looks like,” you reply, smiling back at him.
Someone comes by soon after, giving you both waters and menus. You expect that it would be quiet between the two of you while you decided on what to order like it was when you went out with Xukun, but to your surprise he chattered, asking you questions like would you like to split this with him or how many rolls do you want to order or did you want to get udon instead of sushi because they have that here too. You weren’t upset at the questioning but your head did spin a little bit from it all. You weren’t used to going out with people who didn’t already know what you liked. Xukun had only gone with you once for sushi before he memorized your order and you hadn’t even told him. He had listened to Esther as she ordered for the group...
“YN?” Mingming asked, his voice snapping you out of your thoughts. When you looked at him, he was looking at you, concern written all over his face.
“Yes? What? Sorry,” you apologize, setting the menu down and tucking a lock of hair behind your ear reflexively.
“I just wanted to know if you wanted to try the sakura raindrop cake?” He repeated, setting his menu down as well.
“Yes, sorry, that sounds fine,” you apologize again. “It’s just been awhile since I’ve been at a restaurant and had to think about what to order. Normally I’m with my friends and they already know,” you laugh awkwardly, feeling self-conscious all of the sudden.
The worry eased on his face, understanding. “I know how you feel. When I go out with my friends Zhenning or Wenxuan we don’t have to think about it either.”
You gave a small smile, relieved he didn’t take offense. “You said something about a sakura raindrop cake?” You say, picking up your menu again, searching for it. It still felt slightly awkward, even after ordering, but you did your best to ignore it, waiting for your food to arrive.
Everything was going well, you thought, until you looked up after taking a bite of sushi. Mingming was staring at you, head cocked to the side and looking cute, though confused.
“Is everything alright?” You ask after swallowing.
“I’ve just, uh, never seen someone eat their sushi with ginger and wasabi on it at the same time,” he says, his chopsticks fidgeting slightly.
“Oh,” you say, somewhat used to this. “I tried it once on a dare from a friend when I was younger and I actually really liked it. I’ve eaten it like this since!”
He just nodded, mouth still slightly agape.
“Do you...do you want to try it?” You ask hesitantly. This situation was, unfortunately, very familiar. The group was about evenly divided with whether or not it was a valid way of eating sushi. They all tried it your way but Xukun was the one who still ate it like you most of the time.
He shook his head politely. “I don’t think it’s my style,” Mingming says.
You laugh slightly, “This is the nicest way my style of sushi consumption has been rejected.” You can’t help feeling slightly disheartened at his response though. You knew it was unorthodox, sure, but even Zhengting who complains about seafood constantly whenever you go out to eat, tried it. He thought it was a crime against fishkind and told you such. It was now a running joke in your group to quote him when anyone sees you and Xukun eating sushi that way.
Dessert was a quiet affair. When it came, you ordered a cup of tea to go with it, wanting caffeine but not coffee. You never felt this drained after going out with Xukun or Ziyi. You stare out the window as you ate the dessert, thinking about how Xukun would tell you a story about something that happened on Idol Producer or how Linong reacted seeing Xukun eating the last apple for breakfast. You mindlessly suck on the spoon, trying to get all of the sugary syrup from it.
Your thoughts are disrupted by Mingming asking you if you were okay. “Yeah, of course!” You say, setting your spoon on the plate.
Mingming just levels a blank stare at you, obviously not believing you.
You deflate with a sigh, slumping slightly in your seat before straightening again. “I’m sorry, Mingming. I’m not being fair to you. You deserve to be on a date with someone who’s focused solely on you. You don’t deserve to be out on a Friday night with someone who’s thinking about someone else.”
Mingming was quiet and you cast your eyes down towards your plate, not wanting to see the anger. “It’s the guy from earlier this week right? The one you brought to the cafe? Zhu-something?”
You just nod silently, waiting for his voice to rise in volume.
“Ah, I figured as much,” he said, laughing lightly.
You look up in surprise, his uneven smile on display, no traces of anger at all. “You aren’t angry,” you ask, your voice small.
His smile fades. “No? Why would I be? You can’t control who you like just as much as I can’t control who I like.”
You feel a pang of regret as you say, “God, you’re a really good guy, Mingming. I’m sorry that this didn’t go the way you deserved.”
He waves you off. “Don’t worry about it. Can we still be friends though?”
You nod, the first genuine smile since the sushi first arrived gracing your face. “Of course. Who else is going to let me complain about Professor Wong’s everything?” You joke, referencing one of the professors that he’s had before whose class you were currently taking.
.
“So,” you start, “I have a question about something you said earlier.”
Mingming insisted on walking you back to your apartment because of how late it was. “Go ahead.”
“How did you know I was thinking about Xukun?” You stop and turn to face him, his face highlighted by neon lights of the karaoke bar.
He bites his lip, looking off to the side as he ran a hand through his hair. “How honest would you like me to be?”
“Uhm,” you laugh out, “fairly?”
“I honestly was surprised that you messaged me about a date. I was even more surprised when you said you weren’t dating him.”
You look at him, confusion rising in you. “I don’t understand?”
“It’s just that,” he paused, struggling to find words, “you looked like you fit together? Like, there was a synchronicity between the two of you that I don’t think you noticed. I dance and it can take forever to be like that with a partner but it was as if you anticipated each other’s actions and what’s more is that you were right.”
“Oh.” Your thoughts were racing. Is this really how Xukun and I look to outsiders? “Mingming, I have to go.” Things were clicking into place, every time you and Xukun touched, every time you looked at each other, it all meant something.
“It’s getting late out, YN.” Mingming held up his phone for you to see 21:45 staring back at you. “Are you sure it can’t wait until tomorrow?”
You nod, determination written all over you. “It can’t wait.”
“Where do you need to go that’s so important?”
“Across campus, I need to go to East Campus,” you say, already walking.
Mingming caught up to you easily enough and said he was coming with you. “I’m going to keep you safe because if I don’t, I have a very strong feeling that Esther will kill me.”
You just nod, sending your roommates a message that you were spending the night at the Wang-Chen apartment.
.
Mingming waited until you were inside of the apartment building and waved goodbye. He lived in South Campus but said that he had a friend nearby that he was going to crash with, so you didn’t feel as bad as you could’ve, having dragged him around campus.
You can’t help your foot tapping as you wait for the elevator to come. It finally arrived and you curse in your head as a bunch of guys around your age leave the elevator, some of them obviously not the most sober they could be. You think you recognize one or two of them but you didn’t care to look too closely. You’ve already wasted enough time not realizing how you and Xukun feel about each other; you didn’t want to waste anymore.
Finally the elevator was empty and you walked in. Right as the doors were closing, you hear somebody call to hold the elevator for you. You stick your arm out and in enter several elderly women, a young couple and their child, and a lizard on a leash. In literally any other situation you would be laughing. Okay, you admit to yourself, the lizard on a leash being held by a woman who had to have been alive during the start of the Qing Dynasty is kind of hilarious, but still.
You exhale in relief as the doors opened on the Wang-Chen apartment floor. You fast walk to their apartment, mindful of the fact that there are people under you. You knock a few times before taking a small step back and waiting. Your fingers tap against the side of your legs impatiently as you wait for someone to open it.
You’re about to knock again when the door opens, Linong’s surprised “YN?” greeting you.
“Linong, I need to talk to Xukun.”
He opens the door wider and steps to the side, letting you in. “He’s in the living room,” he says as you untie your laces.
You and Linong walk to the living room together, your slippers somehow managing to sound impatient.
Ziyi and Xukun were there, watching some drama with flaming swords, talking to the leads as if the characters could hear them. They looked up when you walked in, the same surprise on their faces as on Linong’s moments before.
“It was so sweet today! Mingming drew a little heart by my name when I went to get my coffee,” you gushed to the group you were with.
“That’s great,” Xukun said, gritting his teeth. Ziyi was sitting next to him, arm at the ready in case Kun decided to do something stupid. “That’s so cool, YN. Where to find me a barista like that?” He continued, his smile feeling faker and faker by the second.
“Kunkun, you hang out too much with Justin! You’re starting to sound like him,” you tease, smiling gently towards him.
“Bold of you to assume I would hang out with Kun willingly,” Justin says immediately, laughter soon breaking out across the group.
You haven’t known these boys long, meeting them through Linong who was in your vocal class at the university. Justin was a few years younger than you but was incredibly smart and managed to skip several grades, ending up just a year below you in university. He was best friends with Chengcheng, who met you when you may have accidentally tripped and launched your bowl of M&Ms, that you technically weren’t allowed to take from the dining services, at him. Chengcheng had laughed it off and invited you to sit with his friends. The group included Linong and Justin, but you also met Zhengting, Yanjun, Zhangjing, and Linkai. It wasn’t until one of the dance teams was busking outside, near the library that had the best study rooms, that you met Ziyi while you were leaving. His dancing had caught your eye and, since your schedule was open due to a sudden cancellation of your least favorite class, you stayed until the end to compliment him. As it turned out, he knew Linong and Chengcheng because even though the campus is fairly large, the world is small. It was odd to think that you met Xukun last but had the strongest bond with him. It wasn’t that your relationship with the other eight guys was bad, but you and Xukun clicked in a way that you didn’t with them.
You met Xukun a few weeks, almost a full semester, after meeting the rest of the group. They would talk about him often enough that you felt like you were friends with him already. Unlike the rest of them, who were studying performing arts with the hopes of making it in the music industry, Xukun already had, establishing himself at a young age.
You were with your roommates, Xiaotang and Esther, walking back to the dorms from the econ class you share together, complaining about how you were afraid that you were never going to meet him simply because of conflicting schedules. “But Ziyi is so dead set on us meeting because Xukun is-”
“Here,” Ziyi says from behind, interrupting you. You, Esther, and Xiaotang stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, surprised by Ziyi’s sudden appearance.
Turning around you ask, “Were you just waiting for my class to be over, Ziyi?”
He shrugged in response, a small smile on his face. “Maybe.” He stepped to the side, revealing Cai Xukun standing behind him, dressed casually with a ball cap and mask to obscure his identity as much as possible.
Esther stared and reached out blindly to hit you on the arm. “YN, YN, YN, it’s-”
Xiaotang grabbed her arm across you and said, “Yes. Yes it is.”
You were standing there, shocked into silence. He was taller than you, which you expected to an extent. All of the guys were taller than you so it wasn’t news. No, the reason you were shocked wasn’t because of his height; it was because of his eyes. They were an intense gray color that you knew were colored contacts because Yanjun had made a comment early on in your friendship about how Xukun appeared to have different eyes each week. You felt yourself turning red under his gaze.
“Before Xiaotang and Esther lose their minds, why don’t we head to the apartment and Xukun can properly introduce himself?” Ziyi suggested, motioning for you and your roommates to keep walking. You three nodded, still in shock, causing Ziyi to laugh and start pushing you to walk. Eventually, on the way to the apartment, you end up dropping back behind Xiaotang, Esther, and Ziyi and walk with Xukun the rest of the way. Though awkward at first, you and Xukun soon found a rhythm and clicked. By the time the group of you and your friends were inside Ziyi’s apartment, Xukun had tears in his eyes from laughing at a story involving Zhengting, a facemask, and pizza.
The four of you settled into the living room, watching as Xukun took off his mask and hat. A smile on his face, he introduced himself to you and your friends and you felt something in you fall together, like you were waiting for this your whole life. As you sat with three of your close friends and a stranger you feel like you’ve known for years, a sense of contentment settled across your shoulders. For the first time since you had left home for university, you truly felt at home.
