on the drive home from the dexx event, i got overwhelmed by love for pttp so. here's my first fic for them. written on the spot, ok. ao3
i. 2024
Tee takes a deep breath and turns to the side to look at Por.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Five seconds. That's all he can take before he has to look away again.
He hears Por laugh as he always does, amused and flattered by Tee's embarrassment. They've only been an official pair for less than a month but this is already becoming a habit. Tee glances, looks away, and blushes; Por leans close and enjoys the show.
"P'Por..." Tee whines, hiding his face in his hands. "This is hard, you know?"
"You need to get used to it," Por says. It's good advice, and the entire reason they met up on their day off today.
"I will," Tee promises. He forces himself to look back again.
Wearing a white unbutton shirt and black pants, bare-faced and flawless, Por looks like a superstar. He has the aura of a top celebrity and the charming smile of a heart-breaker. Tee has no idea how he ever got chosen. Sure, he's cute and is one of the few people in the company who wants to pursue dancing, but it's not like he's particularly handsome like P'Thomas or talented like P'Au.
"It's probably fine." Por's voice breaks him from his reverie. "It's cute."
Tee can't help but grin, perking up at the compliment. "You think I'm cute~!"
Por rolls his eyes and huffs out another amused laugh.
"Let's take photos," he says and takes Tee's phone from the table. "Go over to that corner, it has good lighting."
Tee's still not sure what he ever did to be lucky enough to get chosen, but he knows he'll do everything in his power to be worthy of Por.
ii. 2025 (part1)
Por is an actor. As the path he has chosen after eight years of training, as the path he is enjoying now with all his heart, he has decided to focus all his attention into becoming the kind of actor who embodies their character.
For months now, he has been living in Qin's life.
He feels his joys and sorrows, his insecurities and his triumphs. He feels his love.
Qin loves Duang more than he has ever loved before.
It isn't a difficult feeling to emulate.
Por looks at Tee and feels affection well up inside him. They have spent the past few months in each other's pockets, spending every single day together, and even sleeping in the same bed when they're outside the country (or when it's too late and they have to spend the night at the DMD mansion). At this point, Tee knows more about Por's day to day than anyone in his life.
Tee, like Duang, is a sun that illuminates everything around them. He is safety, and warmth, and peace.
Looking at Tee like he is the most important person in the world isn't a difficulty. (Sometimes, it feels too natural. It feels less like a role he is playing and more like the truth he is living by.)
iii. 2025 (part2)
Tee doesn't technically live in P'Aof's mansion anymore. Just like P'Keng, he moved out as soon as he got regular paychecks from his series and an official pairing from the company. He's more independent now and has to be a mature adult.
He's still one of the youngest members of this family, though, and he takes advantage of that whenever he can.
Like right now, when his mind is too jumbled to function.
"Do you have a meeting today?" P'Aof asks as soon as he sees Tee lounging in his living room.
Tee shakes his head. "I have a question," he says.
"Okay." P'Aof sits on the other couch and gestures with his hand. "Go on."
"Is it normal that I want to spend all my time with my partner?"
"With Por?"
Tee nods.
"That's usually how it is," P'Aof answers. "You chose him because you're comfortable with him, right? It's normal you want to spend time with someone you like."
"I thought so," Tee says. "But..." He narrows his eyes at the floor. "Sometimes I want to—" He reaches forward with both hands then closes his fists like he's grabbing on to something. "—like that, you know?"
P'Aof stares at him for a while without saying anything. Tee stares back, then repeats the movement to emphasize his point.
"Is that cuteness aggression?" he asks finally.
"Oh!" Tee claps his hands, nodding in agreement. It is cuteness aggression, isn't it? P'Por is getting cuter and cuter everyday. It makes sense that Tee wants to squeeze his cheeks and his arms and his belly any time they're together. "I guess that's it."
"What else?" P'Aof prods, laughing now. "What else do you feel?"
Tee scrunches up his nose and thinks about it.
"That's about it," he says. "I want to hang out everyday and squeeze him."
"That's normal," P'Aof says. "Ask your older brothers. They probably feel the same way."
iv. 2025 (part 3)
The Shower Scene™ is so embarrassing that Por does not call Tee that night like usual. He goes home, stares at his ceiling for most of the evening, and refuses to even look at his phone. It's probably unprofessional, or immature, or something. It's probably bad partner etiquette to not do their usual good night call just because he can't speak to Tee without thinking about what they shot that afternoon.
When he wakes up, he still feels shy about it.
He's more clear-headed, though. He sends Tee a message to invite him out for lunch.
.
"Pip," Tee says as soon as they've sat down at a private booth, voice grave and expression unusually serious.
Por blinks and straightens up. Are they talking about it? He really doesn't want to talk about it. Intimate scenes will always be part of their jobs from now on and it's simply something they'll have to get used to, like how they got used to staring each other in the eyes without looking away.
Of course, if there's an issue, he'd welcome any conversation. He never wants Tee to keep a problem to himself. Embarrassment over that scene isn't a big deal, though. There's nothing that needs to be hashed out.
"Pip..." Tee still looks too serious.
"What is it?"
"I need to tell you something."
Por furrows his eyebrows and stares. He waits.
Tee puts both clenched fists on the table, breathing deeply once then letting it out in one big sigh.
"We're partners," Tee starts, "and you said we should always be honest with each other so we can work together for a long, long time."
Por nods.
"So I have to be honest."
"Okay...?"
"I think," Tee says, then pauses, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes at the table. He takes another deep breath before looking up and catching Por's gaze in a way he couldn't just last year. "I think I'm not that good at acting."
Por frowns and immediately shakes his head. "What? No! Why would you—" He continues shaking his head, leaning forward and taking one of Tee's hands. "You're doing a great job. P'Kla told you, right? You're good. Your Duang is better than anyone expected."
"I—" Tee turns his hand so he can hold Por's properly. "Well. I don't think I'm doing a bad job, but... your voice changes when you're Qin, and you can separate yourself easily, right? You don't feel confused about it."
"Yours changes, too," Por shoots back. Tee has been a revelation as Duang. Even if Por is bad at verbalizing himself, he wants to make sure Tee understands this. "Even if you feel differently, we see how good you are. If you get too immersed, that just means you're taking your role seriously, okay? That's part of being an actor."
"But what if it's not just that?" Tee asks. "Pip, I feel like I'll fall in love if we keep doing this."
Wait.
Huh?
What?
"Tee?"
"I'll fall in love," Tee repeats in the same serious tone. "I really will, Pip. I can feel it."
"Duang is in love with Qin." Por can see why Tee thinks this is a problem. Immersing themselves in their roles is important, but being able to step back and go back to their real selves was important too.
"That's why I'm telling you," Tee says, close to a childish whine. He lets go of Por's hand and crosses his arms on the table, putting his head down on it. "Duang is already in love with Qin, but that's not what I'm feeling."
"You're about to fall in love," Por clarifies, heart in his throat. He kind of feels like he's about to have an out of body experience. He can't feel his limbs.
"Yes," Tee says. He settles his chin on his arms and looks up at Por with a helpless expression. He looks so young. "If we continue being partners, I'm going to do it."
"Fall in love?"
"Yes."
"Why?" Por asks, and he's not even sure why he says it. He's just too shocked to process anything happening right now.
Tee blinks. "Why... would I fall in love?" He straightens up and thinks it through, obviously taking the question seriously. Even with the confusing situation, Por feels that usual spark of fondness. "Because it's Pip. I can't imagine spending every single day with you and not falling in love."
Por's face is heating up. He doesn't even know what his face is doing right now.
"I just wanted you to know," Tee says, then shrugs. He smiles in relief. "If you're fine with it, we don't have to change anything."
"You just wanted me to know."
"Yes."
"To prepare me?"
Tee tilts his head to the side. "Um. Not really? Do you need to prepare?"
Does he? This whole conversation has ran away from him. Por has no idea what to think. He's still stuck on the surety in Tee's eyes. I'll fall in love, he says with iron-clad certainty.
"I do," Por concludes. His mind is a jumble of confusion right now but there is one thing he is sure of: Tee is his partner and he wants to be partners for a very long time. He's already decided to work hard on this. He doesn't know how he feels, but he knows he wants to respect Tee's feelings always.
If Tee is falling, then Por is going to make sure he never gets hurt.
v. 2026
Japan has always been special to them. Tee has precious memories of every single time they've gone here, whether it be with the whole company or with smaller groups. Pip is more relaxed here, plus the food always puts him in the best mood.
Acting like a lovey-dovey couple isn't that hard, especially after the months they've acted as Duang and Qin. Holding hands while walking is natural. Sharing sweet kisses is instinctual. Smiling at each other with love in their eyes is just part of their daily lives at this point.
Admittedly, the bed scene shot in just under an hour is a new experience, and a stressful one at that, but wanting to kiss every inch of Por's body isn't a new desire.
Tee's thankful they've talked it out ages ago. If they didn't, he'll probably feel too guilty to function.
Instead, he's feeling soft and warm and affectionate. Por knows what he feels and he's letting Tee cuddle close.
It's nice.
.
"Pip, you can shower first," Tee says, dropping on to his side of the bed.
"No."
Tee doesn't get to enjoy the soft bed for long, because Por drags him up until he's standing again. He whines and leans heavily on Por, hoping to be let go so he can sleep peacefully.
"You have to shower and change your clothes," Por says sternly.
"But I'm tired," he whines, using his most pathetic voice. "Piiip, let me sleep."
"No," Por repeats. "Come on. I'll help you."
Tee's eyes widen. "Am I dreaming?" he asks. "Are you Qin? Are we on set?"
Por huffs and continues dragging him towards the bathroom.
"I don't want your dirty clothes on our bed."
"Are we showering together?" Tee asks, more curious than anything.
"No," Por says, laughing. He sounds amused but he also sounds embarrassed. It's cute.
"You're cute," Tee says.
"You're half-asleep," Por shoots back. "Do I need to help you take off your clothes?"
"Uiii," Tee says, giggling, "you want to take my clothes off. Piiip, you're so naughty."
Por laughs again and doesn't say anything more as he helps Tee take his shirt off. He leaves Tee to take the rest of his clothes off, coming back after a few minutes with a set of Tee's pajamas.
Tee showers quickly and changes clothes, letting Por drag him back to the bed and tuck him in like he's a little kid.
"You're sweet," he says, eyes already closed. "I like you so much."
Por is smiling when he pats him on the head and says, "I know."
.
vi. 2026 (part2)
It's not remotely funny, but Auau laughs so hard he starts crying when he hears Por's explanation.
"He doesn't know?" Auau asks when he's done laughing his heart out. "Por, you woke up early and stayed backstage during his event. So you can spend time together." He pauses and laces his hands together in front of him, the way P'Kla does when he's about to explain the importance of a scene. "You spend every hour together already. And you still woke up at ass o'clock to go sit with him while he's doing his make-up."
"We're partners," Por says, "and I had an event after him, anyway. I just arrived early."
"Bullshit. You'll wake up at noon everyday if you had a choice," Auau argues.
"He does the same for me," Por adds.
"Yeah," Auau says, raising an eyebrow, "and he's in love with you."
"Well, I'm the same, so."
"I'm going to hit you."
"I'll tell Save you're threatening me," Por says, picking up his phone. He gets distracted by a message Tee sent a few minutes ago about a new omakase place they should try soon.
"Oh my god," Auau says, groaning. "Just tell him."
"How?"
"You spend every. single. day. together!" Auau looks like he's about to start throwing things, so Por raises both hands up in surrender.
"Fine! I will!"
.
vii. 2026 (part3)
Tee acts offended when Por says he doesn't think much, but it's not an unfair assessment when it comes to some things. He overthinks their work and their fame, but he doesn't think enough when they're doing casual interviews or when they're doing lives.
He takes a lot of things in stride. His anxieties are focused on what their fans think of their drama or what their fans feel about their recent events.
He hasn't had anxieties about Por for a long time. Ever since they talked it out and promised to always be honest with each other, Por has never been a source of worry, only a source of comfort.
That's probably why it takes him by surprise when Por says, "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I, um, started feeling the same way..."
Five, four, three, two, one.
Tee watches as Por looks away, embarrassment clear in his every movement.
"You didn't have to say it...?" Tee frowns. "I think I already knew?"
Por scowls and slaps him on the chest. It's adorable, but Tee restrains from saying it out loud. Not the time.
Tee catches his hand and clutches it in both of his. He grins, letting the certainty settle in his bones. He knew, but it's different like this. Having Por awkwardly glare at him while admitting his feelings is a gift he never expected to receive.
"I love you," he says, easy as breathing.
Por's ears are red but he looks Tee in the eyes when he says, "I love you, too."
(He'll always be thankful that Por made him feel safe enough to fall.)