im leaning against the cubicle of my office's small kitchen, looking down at the soft waves of the surface of my excessively sweet coffee as one of my coworkers stands next to me, waiting for their food to heat up in the small microwave we have, they turn to me and ask "hey, how did you get this job anyway? its kind of weird isn't it?" and i decide to tell him a very... akward story. "so, i was- i already told this story like- to jannet, well not jannet- you get it. but... yeah so- i was on my way to a job interview, yeah real underground, stuff yknow? so, like- i get to the interviewer and like, something is off about him.../her- i can't tell like- any details that set me off, but they do. so... im sitting with them, and he/she starts asking the normal, lets say usual questions, 'how old are you' 'what would you say your greatests weakness is' etc- you get it. so we get to like- a point where i could tell he/she ran out of questions, somehow... so- like they start going off the book i guess, and like begin asking me stuff like, 'what would you do for this company' 'what inspires you to do good or evil' 'what is your biggest phobia?' and honestly, i was sort of nervous and also really exited, about working here so i awnsered them as best i could, and yknow... so, yeah he/she continues asking questions and they begin getting more... well less uh, n-normal lets call it. so the interview continues and he/she asks me like, 'have you ever been inclined to eat any creatures that do not correlate with your physiology?' and again- i thought like, 'oh- if im vegan' like yeah sure brain, whatever gets me employed... heh- uh so i go like 'yes. i have eaten beings that do not correlate to my physiology.' and like he/she- hah, their eyes widen and then ask 'any creature...?' and i guess i got flustered because i was thinking 'oh shit, this is turning into a debate about eating meat?' so i like, try to defuse the situation. 'oh, no- only like, creatures with small awareness or, i guess no sentience...?' i... honestly could have worded it better but it somehow got... them a bit more calm... so they continue like- 'if you were to, somehow be able to communicate with extraterrestial being, would you judge them from their point of origin?' and i was- dumbfounded first, then my brain started analizing and logically dissecting what they told me and i was like, 'oh. he means if im racist' which, yeah? i guess... so i was like 'i would never judge any being only from where they come from or the history of their past.' and- they got like, suprised in a... i guess, good way? and thats when my brain sort of began to tie itself back together as i began to wonder why are these questions so weird, like i thought- 'i knew this job was sort of "out there", but-' and then he hit me with the big one. 'if another species were to take over your goverment, would you be okay with it?' and, i blue-screened. sort of like a- 'huh?' came out of me as they repeated themselves, and i somehow decided to go with it and asked. 'which one?' because im british, we were in mexico and america is known for being the center of everything aliens. so, they like- write something down and, look up. 'the main one' i... uh, hmm... yeah i also couldn't awnser that. so i went off into like, 'in which way?' because each of them have very specific strengths and politics that shape them...' and they looked perplexed. so i just sighed and said 'lets say america, yes, definetly i wouldn't mind at all. but, lets say... japan i feel like that would be a lot more problematic...' they nod and keep writing stuff down as i realize- oh... 'man are you an alien?' i thought out loud as they froze up. 'no.' they said in a monotone voice... as you do, normaly as a completely normal human after being asked such stupidity. so, thats how i ended up here. how about you?" i said, looking up to my tall, compoun-eyed, molting co-worker who sort of ponders for a bit. before saying. "...i just got the job because my dad also works here." ...its resuring to know that nepotism exists even in outer space.
