Reading the book really made me fall in love with Shane’s little “holy shit” after Ilya says I love you. Because, in the book, we can see both their thoughts, and we get Shane and Ilya both admitting to themselves that they’re in love. But! Crucially, they both also admit to themselves that they’re pretty sure the other is in love with them, too.
Shane’s surprise isn’t that Ilya loves him, it’s that he actually says it. Shane and Ilya have been playing this huge game of chicken with saying I love you, not because they don’t want to, because they both really want to, but because they’re both very aware of how hard life will be once they speak the words out loud and admit it.
The cottage is a gift and a curse and a test all in one. Yes! They get to spend uninterrupted time together! But do they like each other? Do they want more of this? And, most importantly, can they go back to the real world after this? Can they go back to what they were and acknowledge that this is all they’re ever going to get??
Ilya saying I love you is Ilya waving the white flag. He’s saying I need more, I need all of it, I cannot go back. He’s admitting that he needs them to try. And Shane agrees! Shane has felt the same way the whole time but did not want to put that on Ilya. So instead of saying it, he showed it, little by little: come to my cottage, don’t marry svetlana, let’s start a foundation, we can do this someday, we can maybe make this work.
But Shane is still so shocked when it works! Ilya rozanov loves him! Ilya rozanov wants to try! Ilya rozanov let him win. Like yeah holy shit. That I love you is as good as a marriage proposal to Shane.
Shane’s remarks after that kill me, too. Like, was it killing you too? Are you in agony? Does it hurt you the way it hurts me?
Not anymore.
The first time I watched this it made me laugh, but now I just wanna cry, ugh they love each other so much.
