#year of the weird

[lum1natrix]

**facepalms**

[falseroar]

Some Concerns

((Like Broken Pieces, this is a sort of spinoff story from Can You Wake Up?

Still totally legit canon.))

While you preferred to spend your time at the egos’ house, if only because there was no telling what could happen from one day to the next, it was nice to know Mark had a room for you at his place. You found yourself staying over whenever the egos were getting to be a little too much to handle, or when Dark was being too, well, Dark. Or just when you wanted to spend some quality time with Chica.

Hanging out with Mark and his friends could be fun, but more and more you began to notice a…pattern with Mark.

There was the one afternoon you and Chica were lying on the floor of the living room, both tired out from playing. Chica was panting heavily, her paws up in the air and her tongue lolling, while you were wondering if it would be worth moving to the couch or if you could just nap here on the floor. You heard footsteps and lifted your head in time to see Mark walk in with a collar in hand.

“Oh, did you get that for Chica?” you asked. Her collar was starting to fray around the edges, but you were a little surprised he didn’t pick out a cuter one.

“What? No!” Mark looked horrified at the thought. “This is a shock collar!”

Seeing your expression, he quickly added, “It’s for a video.”

“…Okay.” You shrugged and then grunted when Chica stepped on your chest on her way to go see Mark, and that was the end of that conversation. It wasn’t like it was the weirdest thing you had seen Mark do for a video.

Then there was the scene you walked into a day or so later.

“Hey, Mark, did you change the WiFi pass—”

You stopped short when you looked up from your phone and saw Mark dangling in a climbing harness with Tyler standing next to him wielding a plastic baseball bat, both trying to get some bags of candy open.

“It’s for a video, I swear,” Mark said, accidentally spilling candy over the floor at the same time, and Tyler nodded.

“…Okay. Can I have a piece of candy?” you asked.

“Only after Tyler’s beaten it out of me,” Mark answered and Tyler whacked him with the baseball bat as demonstration. “Hey! We’re not even recording yet!”

Another day you were in the kitchen making a sandwich when Mark came in holding up a jar of peppers like it was a shining trophy.

“Ghost peppers!” he announced as he set them down on the table.

“For a video?”

“Yes!” Mark slammed his hand down on the table for emphasis as he said, “I am making a commitment, and this is going to show just how committed I am!”

“…Okay. Did you remember to buy milk too?”

Mark slammed his hand down on the table again. “No, I did not!”

You watched him leave, yelling about going back to the store and how he supposed he could do this the smart way if he had to, and glanced at the jar of ghost peppers.

How hot could they be, really?

Mark reappeared at the kitchen door and grabbed the jar, looking at you suspiciously. “I’m taking these with me.”

He backed out of the kitchen, watching you all the way through narrowed eyes until the wall blocked his view. You shrugged and went back to making your sandwich.

He probably had a good point on that one.

All in all, this was fairly normal behavior for Mark. No, what concerned you was that night.

That night you walked downstairs to the kitchen in search of a glass of water before bed and found the light already on. You walked in to find Mark standing at the table, a couple of clear bowls and ingredients in front of him and off-white slime smeared all over his face and hands, leaving two dark dots for eyes. His glasses lay on the table, already so coated with slime that they were impossible to see through.

As you stared at each other, a small dollop of slime slid down and completely missed every single bowl.

“Is this for a video?” you asked, even though you couldn’t see a camera anywhere.

Mark hesitated and then sighed, sputtering slime. “Can we just pretend I said yes?”

“…I’m sleeping in the Barrel tonight.”

He sighed again, his nod sending a new dollop spiraling downward. “Yeah, I get that.”

((End of...whatever this is.

References: 50 question in 5 minutes w/Shock collar, Human piñata, Ghost pepper of commitment, How to make slime videos. All real things Mark has done to himself. Seriously, should we be concerned at this point, or just embracing the weird?))

[astraldragons]

//folds hands

I can’t believe we’re not even into February but Mark has created a dumpster fire and now there’s a new ego

Mark

Pleas e

[falseroar]

“Why Mark? Why?”

[neonyellowsociety]

I’m just glad Mark doesn’t actually have current access to a cattle prod, because I 100% believe he would actually shock himself if he had one.

[howiremember]

People will never believe me when I say I didn't know