why don’t we have an antonym for saudade? i have that word forever etched onto my skin and never once — until today — thought about it not having an opposite. something that would be its opponent. that would soothe. that would cure. that would be it but can’t
you can look it up and the dictionaries will tell you the same: “the emotional state of melancholic or profoundly nostalgic longing for a beloved”. it is a never ending feeling. you don’t just miss something or someone, no. it is a mélange of loss, longing, and love. it is something you can’t control or tame, you just can’t fill its void on your own. on the worst days you can only hope for forgetfulness to avoid feeling it before it eats you alive
how can its roots be tied to loneliness when your insides are yearning for something you can’t have?
how can this word be tied to health when the mere thought of your absent subject makes you sick?
how is it that once we fill this aching gap we go on to say we have killed it?
if the wilderness felt inside were to have a label i would already have a name for it. untranslatable but only felt for those who have gone through it. saudade.
