#yenn unfiltered

[gunshou]

The way I screamed when Ellie started stitching Joel up with a filthy needle and some cotton thread that's been lying in Anoia's temple for twenty years

At least pass that shit through a lighter flame a couple of times, damn, girl.

Episode 8 is titled Sepsis

[gunshou]

oh man i can't even choose which questions from that meme to send you lmao. how about 1, 4, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 17, and 19?

Ok, so for the sake of memes, we'll assume my fandom is just Bucky Barnes and not the larger MCU, because that's the truth.

Get a glass of water, because the waters ahead are salty af.

salty ask list

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get? Winterspider. I can see Peter hero-crushing over Bucky, and Bucky being sort of bemused and flattered, but Peter is a teenager and adult Bucky would never. Aside from the fact they have almost nothing in common experience-wise (and Bucky has supertanker-sized buckets of trauma) Bucky wants a man, not a kid who can't even buy a beer. (TBH, shipping Peter with any adult freaks me the fuck out, sorry. I get why people do it, but it squicks me hardcore.)

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP? I really don't like reading Winterwidow. I know Bucky and Nat are a canon love affair in the comics (which I don't read), but if I'm gonna imagine any woman in Bucky Barnes' bed, it's gonna be me.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now? When I first jumped in less than a year ago, I was enjoying a fic that DID-style separated the Winter Soldier and Bucky, and heavily woobied TWS persona. Now I'll whump the ever-living fuck out of the Soldier and adore him traumatized to the point of barely functioning, but I don't like reading him infantilized or having other characters woobie him. And I think having a dissociated identity Bucky has to be done with careful nuance now that I'm a *cough* discerning reader. *nose in the air, lol*

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why? It's a toss-up between Tony Stark and Peggy Carter. I've explained my Tony hatred elsewhere. Peggy employed and worked beside Armin Zola knowing that he experimented on and tortured Bucky. You can't tell me that a smart, driven woman at the head of her own spy ring didn't have some inkling that the Winter Soldier project was going on and couldn't put two-and-two together.

10. Most disliked arc? Why? FUCK. YOU. ENDGAME-STEVEN. No explanation needed. 11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? I'm with the rest of the trash squad in celebrating the Karpov renaissance! I don't think he's popular outside of our little circle and it's a shame. His bond with the Winter Soldier makes him a great character to explore. He kept the code book, which indicates deliberate sabotage of the American team when they came to claim his weapon after the fall of the USSR. Or maybe he just wanted to keep the only piece of the Soldier he could lay claim to. 12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? I mean, if you count "the fandom" as the wider group beyond HTP, than probably all the trash I adore would fit here. 17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen… Oooooooh, boy. Um. I would rewrite Bucky's storyline in TFATWS. I would make his therapist explicitly a HYDRA sleeper agent employed by T. Ross to keep Bucky guilt-ridden and isolated so that he feels compelled to become the gov't's asset. John Walker would be groomed to be Bucky's new handler (blond, blue-eyed, Captain America). The fight against the Flagsmashers would start as a simple investigation into the super-serum that evolves into a world-spanning plot to destabilize countries just starting to get back on their feet after the second Snap, with the HYDRA-owned GRC poised to swoop in and seize full power. Bucky would be manipulated by judicious exposure of his trash past into serving HYDRA again only to be revealed in the climax as having manipulated them so that he could get close enough to the bad guy leaders to take them down. There'd be a truly vicious fight that calls upon every ounce of his deadly skill and capabilities so that he finally sees that while he may still be a weapon, he can aim himself now and fight for a cause he believes in. And then Steve would come back from the moon and they'd fuck onscreen. 19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom? Antis and purity police. Just let me enjoy my trash porn in peace, asshats. I guess the second thing would be the actual MCU writers, who managed to take vibrant characters and a strong narrative arc and no homo them into utter ruin and ooc behavior.

[gunshou]

1, 2, 4, 22? XD

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get? answered here

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP? Aside from the pairings I don't like, nope. Bucky Barnes is the fandom bicycle, as far as I'm concerned. Whore (affectionate). 4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP? answered here 22. Popular character you hate? Just Tony Stark, although he's not necessarily popular in Bucky Barnes circles anyway. I hate several fandom versions of Steve that reduce him to a flat character that masturbates to eagles singing, or whatever. Steve Rogers is socialist, rebellious, smart, and pugnacious, and that's what makes him interesting. While I don't hate him, my unpopular opinion is that Sam Wilson isn't really interesting in TFATWS. I wish they'd taken the Sam who doggedly followed Steve's tits in a tight shirt all around the world looking for a raggedy feral brainwashed assassin and put him into the story instead of this milquetoast amiable dude who doesn't ever seem to get angry. I wanted to see the guy who dropped everything and became an international fugitive because of his belief in free will. The guy who was happy not to be taking orders he didn't like anymore. The guy whose solution to a berserker supersoldier is to stick the dude's arm in a machining vise while he's interrogated (because you know that was Sam's idea). Cynical, doubtful, but deep-hearted and loyal Samwise Wilson. I wish they'd made him Captain America.

salty ask list

[gunshou]

Tell us about your wips!

:D :D :D

🅢🅣🅤🅒🅚🅨 🅕🅘🅒🅢

The Third Who Walks Beside You (pre-WWII, whump, eventually explicit) ★ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: part one complete ★ part one was written for the Stucky Exchange, but my outline for the story was so much more complex than I could write in the time I had, so I decided to make it a series. I intend to whump the living fuck out of Bucky because that's what I do. I want to explore him in a bad headspace in an unsupportive environment (except for Steve, of course) and the sheer terror he feels at being drafted, although he puts on a brave face. ★ ᴩʟᴏᴛ: Bucky and Steve are basically inseparable until Bucky receives his draft notice. Bucky's father disapproves of their relationship, and is a drunk who beats his son regularly. When Bucky's father commits suicide after losing his business, Bucky leans on Steve and their developing romance to try and maintain some equilibrium. Trying to financially support himself and his mother and sisters leaves Bucky few choices, and he takes on other means of earning cash. Eventually the draft letter arrives, and Bucky has to accept that he and Steve are unlikely to ever live the life they wanted together.

'Til Human Voices Wake Us (whump, tragedy, romance, probably sex, who knows?!) ★ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: one scene and a more detailed outline ★ this one is going to be my magnum opus, my "Not Easily Conquered". I have plans for this sucker; we'll see if life allows them to come to fruition. Set post-TWS and ignoring CW and everything after. ★ ᴩʟᴏᴛ: As he sheds the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes has to redefine himself out of the surfacing memories of his past. In the meantime, Steve Rogers will never stop searching for him.

🅗🅣🅟 🅕🅘🅒🅢 Registered Logo (Explicit, Winterbones) ★ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: two chapters done of maybe 5 or 7 planned. ★ Set post-TWS and ignoring CW and everything after it, this is a story about Bucky trying to reconnect with his body and accept his darker desires. Prompted by a discussion in the dumpster with my HYDRA trash-loving besties and heavily influenced by @astralhux and @subverbaldreams and their characterization of the Winterbones ship. ★ ᴩʟᴏᴛ: Bucky is having a really hard time adjusting to life without the struct orders he was used to in HYDRA. The serum and his time as a captive only intensified darker desires he always had, and he feels uncomfortable asking Steve to give him what he wants because Steve treats Bucky like a fragile thing, terrified that Bucky might shatter or run away if pushed. It takes them forever to work up to having sex again, and Bucky tries to hide his spiraling anxiety and restlessness. HYDRA tattooed their logo on Bucky's lower back, half as a sick joke and half to brand their property more permanently than the Soviet star on his arm. Additionally, STRIKE scarred words into Bucky in intimate places while trashing him. Bucky isn't happy with the tattoo, but the scars make him think of how Rumlow always took care of him. He craves the certanty of following Rumlow's orders and the praise Rumlow used to give him. Even the pain doled out had a certain clarifying effect, and Bucky wonders if it would calm his racing mind. He hides the scars and tattoo from Steve for as long as he can, but in a truly terrible headspace, he repeatedly flays his own flesh to try and remove the marks so Steve won't reject him. Steve eventually notices what's happening and realizes that he can't hold Bucky's mental health together single-handedly; they're no longer the same men they were and they aren't going to work as lovers anymore. Bucky finds his way back to Rumlow, who gives him everything he's been craving and takes care of his best weapon the way he always has.

untitled xch fic (Explicit) ★ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: two scenes out of...idk six? ★ Written for our HTP dumpster exchange. It was supposed to be due last week but it's not cooperating. Neither is real life. *sadface* ★ ᴩʟᴏᴛ: under wraps until the reveal, but it's from Rollins point of view, which is new for me. Let's see how it goes.

untitled fic (Explicit, body horror, psychological horror) ★ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴜꜱ: one scene and a sketchy outline ★ inspired by my non-marvel bff who may not be in this fandom, but has been my writing partner in FFXII for a decade and knows me so very well. She births the plots, I nurture and raise 'em. This is the darkest thing I've tried to write in a long, long time, and I'm stupidly excited to write it. The more stressed I get, the darker my fics get, and the holidays always stress me out so much I retreat into a world where I can brutalize the fictional men I love. ★ ᴩʟᴏᴛ: The metal arm was the last graft Soviet HYDRA tried. Before that, they attempted to graft ordinary human arms to Bucky, trying to see if the serum would spread and make the graft take. It never worked, but it didn't stop them from trying, and with each iteration, they sliced off a bit more for a clean attachment point. Wracked with pain and sepsis, Bucky begins to believe that the arms are Steve's, and that if he can't keep the arm alive Steve will die.

[gunshou]

Ooh, salty ask list: 5, 6, 7 & 8?

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? I don't know about ruined a pairing, but I hate, hate, hate these little flash fiction Bucky/reader or Bucky/Steve AUs that are so totally out of character that it's like the author just took the names Bucky and Steve and slapped them on some randos in a wildly different universe. Like, AUs are great. But what makes Bucky who he is has to carry over. Otherwise, the story is the fandom equivalent of clickbait and I hate it.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated? Again, not a pairing, because I'll read Bucky fucking a tree no, wait not Groot, a rock, no not Korg either, a wall. But I'm gonna reveal my darkest secrets, ok? I kinda want to write good fuckpotato. And I hate fuckpotato. Fandom has also tricked me into loving good RPF (Evanstan only, I'm not a total heathen). But not Omegaverse, that's still firmly on the hate list, sorry knot sorry.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now? answered here

8. Have you received anon hate? What about? No, and frankly, I'm sad that no one gets unreasonably riled up about me! Anon hate would make me laugh, I think. It's the idea of my mutuals disliking me or my writing that keeps me up at night. Or the idea that I genuinely offended someone by mis-speaking or not thinking something through. Nonnie purity party leaving weird comments on my fics would be, like, the sign that I've arrived in fandom, a badge of dubious honor, lol.

salty ask list

[gunshou]

Today in inappropriate teaching

Student 1: Ms. Gunshou, how do I break up with someone after one date?

Me: ...😳 Why are you asking me? I haven’t been on a date in 20 years.

S1: You’re so pretty, though! Some guy or girl will fall madly in love with you!

Me: I hope it’s Sebastian Stan.

Student 2: SAME, GIRL, SAME. Or Hemsworth.

Student 3: what are your thoughts on Tom Hiddleston?

S1: or Chris Evans?

Me: *collecting them under my wings like baby ducks* My Marvel Thirst Crew 

[gunshou]

On this day in the ongoing saga of me being inappropriate

[gunshou]

for just the barest instant, I've got my ducks in a row

@confusedfuses