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in hindsight, james novak should have stopped thinking about his body as his body on september 18th, 2008. the river of power and light that pushed his consciousness offstage and took control of his limbs and organs also made them whole.

the knee he banged against the coffee table in a hurry to get to the hospital on the night claire was born would never ache again; the scar he had on his shoulder since seventh grade disappeared; the molar he meant to have checked out stopped throbbing and the slate was wiped clean.

he regarded the event as wondrous and divine, and he failed to consider. that his body without his history was not his body anymore. when castiel first poured into james novak, he looked at the borrowed hands and could not anticipate that later he would think of them as his.

at that time there was the mission and only the mission and for that he needed tools: feet to walk the path, eyes to keep on his targets and a mouth to speak god's orders. james was a warm ball of pulsating energy that reminded him that no matter how he looked, he was other.

he regarded the event as necessary and preordained and he could not anticipate how far from the path those feet would take him, how many emotions would fill those eyes and how powerful that mouth would be speaking of freedom and love

standing outside james novak's house on september 18th 2008, he could not anticipate the history that would make that body his body

and he could not do that, because none of it was written. it would be glorious and earth-shattering, and he would do it all by himself

#castiel #jimmy novak #just wanted to write something for his birthday #ily cas #you changed everything #thank you james for lending your body - your service was very much appreciated #my writing #happy birthday castiel #13 years of castiel #sooo grateful for him

My love,

As you sit next to me, I think of how I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that we are still young but, I want only you. I’m not sure if you want the same but I’m willing to give everything to you. I want all of you, for the rest of my life. When I’m with you I’m happy, I feel like I’m home I want to always be by your side. I want to wake up next to you everyday. I want to come home to you. I want to hear your laugh everyday. I want you to know how much I love you. I want you to know that I am yours and only yours, always. I love you with all of me always.