The little girl I live with just asked me what I like about school...
After I replied almost immediately that “I like what I learn there.” I realized that recently, that isn’t how I really see school anymore.
For some reason I lost track of what I have been focusing my energy on, and I just came to realize that school now seems like a place where I go sit for about five hours a day nonstop (I’m a college student, now highschool schedules sound crazy to me!), a place where --despite feeling excited about the new things I learn every day-- I don’t often feel like I am actually applying any knowledge I aquire. In fact, I feel I study just to pass exams for each section on each of my classes and once wemove on to the next one, I completely forget it all...
I feel tired and it’s not because I am sitting there for five hours but because of the extra hours I have to sit in the library on campus, trying to figure out things on my own. Trying to come up with new ways of saying things that have been said for many years in many other essays, trying to sound as smart and literate as possible... basically trying to impress professors, but I never really learn.
I don’t know how to close this because my wondering hasn’t ceased, but it’s so weird that before school seemed fun and now everything sometimes seems like its either going to fall or already falling apart.