I keep changing the subject when you bring it up, putting a clear boundary that I just can't cross this time. When I try, it never stings...it aches. I don't even recognize this part of me. I don't even realize that I'm building the defense against your gentle words until after I've done it. I can't figure out why this is happening because--because I'm that girl! The girl who shares too much of her heart, soul, and story, just so she doesn't feel hidden? That's me.
And yet this time, this is different. It's so different.
I want to get this out...whatever this is, but the more I try to talk about this. This.
This...
NO!! For once, I need someone to dig into this tangled mess, to invest, to pull this out of my aching heart with slow and tempered movement.
I need to know what that feels like.