I️ feel like I️ haven’t been very happy lately, I️ haven’t been doing all the things I️ practiced and was doing all by myself when I was working everyday and I️ think it’s taking a toll on me, plus other things but I️ liked working everyday and coming home and going to bed at a decent time and waking up all by myself in the morning with enough time to shower, make breakfast, dance around in the kitchen in my underwear and I’ve lost that, I️ hope to get it back..well, I️ have too or I️ won’t survive. I️ think not only do I️ need to remind myself to wash my face every night even if I️ feel too lazy get your ass up and do it, pray even when your too scared cause you don’t wanna feel like you begging or like you are only asking for things you want but don’t need, need to make myself go to bed at a good time cause it was good for me. I️ was so proud and thankful for all I was receiving because I️ was working for it, but of course In one way or the other something happens and then it’s a domino effect and before you know it you are at square one AGAIN. Where did you️ go wrong ? Was it me or was it something that was inevitable and with or without me it would have happened?..I️ need to make writing a priority like those things listed, I️ need make speaking up even if you are afraid to argue or say something someone doesn’t want to hear a fucking priority. Above it all I️ need to make me and the best me my priority,you️ can’t keep treating yourself like everyone else does, you️ hurt yourself enough, probably more than the majority of others... if you fight yourself while the world and everyone else is fighting you too, you will lose, you will lose and you know it.... you will not make it and we can’t let that happen.....you need to show people who don’t love or like you why everyone else does, when people give up on you it’s okay that’s fine that’s understandable but politely show everyone why the fuck other people didnt cause they knew, certain family members knew,friends and most importantly you knew you knew what was right and wrong you knew you weren’t that great messed up more times then you can count but YOU️ KNEW YOU️ could be so much more and if you could make it one day you, your future love, your friends and family would be so proud, overjoyed and greatful to experience a person like you grow.
