took a little journey to the unknown
Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Supernatural Ship: Genfic (Amara & Lucifer) Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, Young Lucifer (Supernatural), Aunt Amara (Supernatural), Family Bonding, Curiosity Wordcount: 2,073 Summary:
Lucifer finds Amara fascinating. Even if Michael and God say he should stay away, he can't help dogging her heels, eager to learn more.
Michael gave Lucifer very clear instructions. “Don’t leave your nest,” and, “I’ll only be gone for a little while, so wait for me,” and, “Why don’t you take a nap, Lucifer?” Lucifer had listened and nodded and then, peered over the edge of the nest he and Michael shared to watch his brother go. He waited until Michael was out of sight before tumbling his way free. He spread his wings, which still felt too big for the rest of him — especially compared to Michael, who had told Lucifer how he had been created fully-formed where Lucifer was meant to grow. Lucifer still didn’t understand why their Father made him this way, and Michael, in turn, didn’t understand why Lucifer felt the need to ask so many questions.
He couldn’t help himself. Michael got more frustrated by Lucifer’s questions than God did and rarely had the answers he wanted, but whenever he did ask their Dad, He’d talk on and on and on until Lucifer was squirming and needed to stretch his wings before he went crazy. That was usually the point at which Dad would sigh, pass Lucifer over to Michael, and tell Michael to answer the questions that endlessly flowed out of Lucifer, starting the whole process over again.
At a certain point, Lucifer had decided it would be better for him to go looking for answers on his own. He was big enough. Michael had taught him to fly through clumsy and sometimes harrowing lessons, ones that had Lucifer losing his way in clouds of space dust and often getting carried back to their nest by his older brother when he got too tired.
He would be back before Michael even noticed he was gone. He flapped his wings, lifting himself into the air with none of the grace his brother had left with but stubbornly persisting anyway.
There were so many things to see out there. The universe around them was always in flux. Lucifer thought the only constants might be him, Michael, God, and Her.
Technically, Lucifer wasn’t supposed to talk to Her.
If their Father really wanted him to stop, than He would have done it already. Therefore, He obviously didn’t care whether Lucifer spent time with Her. Maybe He even wanted him to. That made sense to Lucifer. Michael loved him, and Dad loved him, so how could She not?
Lucifer glided, wobbly, focusing all of his effort on keep himself from turning too far one way or the other. There were sometimes waves of energy that he could ride to ease the strain of flying. His favorite were the solar flares of newborn suns, so hot that they made his feathers tingle and reminded him of Michael, sending him off with a burst so powerful it nearly always knocked him off-course but was worth it every time. There were others, even more powerful, reaching from far corners of the universe to carry him further than any other.
Lucifer couldn’t feel Her presence, exactly. She was more like an absence, the opposite of what he was, what God was. He slowed to feel the edges of that void, skimming his wingtip where She had walked through and done Her work. A shiver ran up his wing, and he tilted dangerously, falling right into the void where She had been devouring creation. It didn’t hurt, but it froze him to his core, making it harder for him to fly and escape. He beat his wings faster, but his long flight to locate Her had already tired him out.
Panicking, he cried out, “Michael!” Louder a second time, “Michael!!”
He felt the palm of a hand cup his struggling form the same way he might capture a meteor in his own. He collapsed into it, exhausted, and he was carried out of the coldest part of the Darkness. The hand cradling him was still cold, but not as overwhelming and it wouldn't let him fall.
“So it was you making all that noise,” he heard, and he straightened up to face Her. He scooted around in Her palm until he was comfortable, his wings folded against his back. She lifted a finger and poked the spot between his wings, making him squawk in surprise. “My brother’s new creation.”
“Lucifer,” he told Her. He liked his name. He wanted Her to use it, the way Michael did, or Dad, when he wasn’t calling Lucifer and Michael ‘son’ interchangeably. She tilted Her head as She carried him further away from the roiling Darkness.
“Lucifer,” She relented. “Where’s the other one? The bigger one who’s always watching you.” She poked at his wing again. It was a little too rough, and Lucifer winced, pulling away from Her. Her second touch was more gentle, and pleasant shivers rolled down his wing as She pet it.
“Michael’s busy,” Lucifer said. “God gave him some very important work to do.” He stretched his wing out a little for Her to touch even more. It felt very nice. Different than Michael or Dad. They were warm, just like Lucifer, but She was new! And Lucifer loved experiencing new things.
“Like what?” This was another part he liked about Her. Very rarely was Lucifer the one who got to answer questions. He frowned as he failed to come up with a good one.
“I’m not sure,” he said. “They’ll let me help when I’m bigger.” He purred softly as She ran a finger or two over one wing and then the other.
“You’re already half the size of your brother,” She said. Lucifer puffed up proudly, his wings fluttering.
“I am?”
“You used to be so small, I was afraid I might crush you by accident. And my brother would never have let that go,” She rolled Her eyes at that last part. Lucifer laughed.
“What are you doing?” he asked when he’d calmed down. Amara tapped his head gently, and he still swayed in her palm from the strength of it. He shook his head to clear away any dizziness.
“Making room,” She answered. “Cleaning up my brother’s toys.” Lucifer nodded.
“Michael makes me clean up my own messes,” he told her, and she hummed to let him know She was listening. Lucifer could feel the vibration in his grace. “But then,” he continued, like it was a secret, “he always cleans up when I’m done anyway.”
“If you’re anything like my brother, you don’t do a very good job of it on your own,” She said. Lucifer huffed. A soft touch on his wings soothed him again. She gazed down at him for a moment, and Her expression melted into one of affection. “You do take after him. Such a bright little angel.”
“You think so?” Lucifer head swam at even the thought. Maybe that was why his Father had made him so small, why he needed to grow. He wanted Lucifer to be like Him.
Something twinged in Lucifer’s grace. Why not Michael, too? Lucifer didn’t want to become something that Michael wasn't.
“You should fly home, little light,” She told him. “I have more work to do, and-“
“I want to see!” he interrupted, nearly tripping over his words in his haste. She paused.
“I’m not God, Lucifer,” She said, and Her indulgence of his curiosity thinned to a stern warning. “The things I do are anathema to you.” She placed one finger below his chin, fixing his eyes to Hers. “I am Hunger and Destruction and Darkness. You were not made for these things.” Lucifer swallowed. It was hard to look at Her, the same way it was to look at God. Tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes, but he took a deep breath and forced himself to hold Her gaze.
“I want to see,” he insisted. “It’s important. I want to know.” Curiosity bubbled inside him. He had always arrived to find her in the aftermath of her work, and that left him unsatisfied.
Besides, if he understood Her, then maybe She would let him help Her. Wouldn’t God be impressed by his initiative then? Michael would be so surprised that he could handle this, and he’d tell their Father to let Lucifer help with their work right away, too. He could be everyone’s favorite forever.
“Alright,” She said, “but be still and quiet. I need to focus.” Lucifer spread his wings. He flew himself up to Her shoulder to perch where their lines of sight would be the same. He held on tight. She gestured across an expanse that Lucifer hadn’t visited in a long time, and that God hadn’t mentioned in even longer. Lucifer and Michael usually only played where His work was long finished, so that they wouldn’t get in the way. Lucifer huddled down against Her shoulder as it began to get cold again. He shook, but the Darkness didn’t scare him as much when he knew She was in control of it. With wide eyes, he watched Her unmake planets and snuff out stars. He felt familiar waves of power washing over him. He folded his wings up tightly so that he wouldn’t be caught. That was where the rest of the waves he had been gliding on came from. He’d flown on the last gasps of dying stars, and he hadn’t even known it.
Lucifer was not sure if he could call what She did beautiful, not in the way he found creation beautiful. There was something about it that kept him enthralled, though. The Darkness devoured everything in its path, leaving only emptiness behind where Lucifer knew eventually God would come and make more things, and then, when He was done, the Darkness would come again. Over and over, always.
Lucifer peeked over at Her face. She wore the same delight his Father did when He was working. Lucifer felt himself smile to match it, barely restraining his wings from spreading with joy before another wave of energy threatened to bowl him over.
“Are you still there?” She asked. Lucifer wavered in place but held on.
“Yes.”
“What do you think?” Lucifer looked out at the void beyond them, once full of odds and ends. He stared very hard into it.
“Do you do this with everything Dad makes?” Lucifer asked. She nodded. “Are you going to do it to me one day?”
“Yes,” She said, not hesitating for even a moment. Lucifer pulled his wings in tightly.
“Would you be sad?” She lifted Her hand and extended a finger again, letting Lucifer decide to reach his wing up to let Her stroke it.
“Yes.” Lucifer leaned over into Her, his wing still stretched out for Her to pet. “You wouldn’t be gone. You would be with me.” He nuzzled up against Her cheek. “And eventually, you would become something new.”
“What was I before this, then?” She laughed.
“I don’t know what my brother made you out of. That’s his job, not mine.” Lucifer shut his eyes and imagined being a planet, or a black hole, or a star. Stars didn’t have older brothers, he decided, so he was happier being an angel.
His eyes snapped open. Michael.
“I have to go! Michael’s going to notice I’m missing!” He really wanted to stay until She was done, but if he did, Michael was going to watch him so closely that he wouldn’t be able to get away again. He sighed. One day, he’d convince Michael to come with him.
“Wait,” She said. She plucked Lucifer from Her shoulder into her palm again. He balanced himself, wings spread. “Wait… and now, fly!” Lucifer swooped out of Her palm, beating his wings once, twice, before he felt the reason She’d made him pause: a huge wave of energy rolling away from the Darkness. Lucifer whooped as it carried him away, easing the ache of exertion as he relaxed into its flow. He looked back once to see that She was watching him leave, and he grinned.
By the time Michael got back to their nest, Lucifer was fast asleep and curled up under his tired wings. He only stirred enough to feel Michael lay down beside him and tug him in to cuddle.
Michael shivered. He ran his hands down Lucifer’s wings. Lucifer hadn’t even noticed he was still cold. He held his breath, but all Michael did was warm him back up, wrapping him in soft feathers and holding him close.
(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)
