for some reason ao3 didn't want me to post this for 2 days so it's technically late for week 1 but still o7 I plan to drop more abt this AU soon so stay tuned or whatever
Posting Week 3 of PR1 Appreciation Month on tumblr cause I don’t want to post an unfinished and VERY unedited fic on ao3
The prompt was Storm in a Bottle, so disclaimer this fic is about 60% written
it’s FAHC x PR1 but I didn’t even write the scene I had started writing this one shot for LMAO
[warehouse, evening, Los Santos. Fake territory. The gang are chilling on crates and boxes and stuff]
“You call this neutral ground? They may as well have slapped their logo on the front of the building,” Chilled muttered.
“No, I call this ‘Trevor isn’t stupid enough to blow up a warehouse full of his own supplies’ ground, actually,” Jeremy replied pointedly. “Ray’s taking his sweet time.”
“Oh, yah, he said he wanted to make an entrance or something.“ Speedy slumped himself over the pile of crates they were sitting on, playing with the sleeve of his jacket idly. “Guy’s got a flair for the dramatic, apparently.”
“Oh, I can’t wait for that! The grand reveal! It’s gonna be sick!” Larry grinned. He was the only one who was yet to really be worn out with boredom, and Jeremy honestly had to hand it to him for keeping up his good spirits even though the rival gang was an entire hour late.
“I just wanna get this over with,” Matt sighed. “The sooner I don’t have to look Michael Jones in the eye, the better.”
“I thought you guys left on good terms?” Chilled remarked.
“We did, but I don’t think they’ll be too happy that we decided to join up with their biggest rival crew instead of going independent like we said we would,” Matt answered. “And, well, Michael’s the most likely to kill me, probably.”
“No, he’ll go for Ze before he even looks at you.” Jeremy scoffed.
“Oh, yeah, he hates Ze. No idea why.” Chilled shook his head thoughtfully before lowering his voice to a stage-whisper. “It’s the arson.”
“We’ve had a couple run-ins.” Ze shrugged as he and Em clambered down from the loft they had been keeping watch from. “There’s a suspiciously British-looking car pulling up outside, by the way.”
“What’s British about it?” Apple asked confusedly.
“Probably the giant Union Jack plastered on the hood.” Em answered.
Jeremy’s entire body seemed to suddenly tense up in surprise. “What the hell? Since when does Gavin do these?”
“Maybe Trevor was busy?” Matt reasoned, though he didn’t sound exactly sure of himself either.
“Yeah, right. The way Fredo was talking it sounded like this deal was the biggest thing they had going on in a while,” Chilled provided.
“Yikes, sounds like guy’s got something to say to you, man.” Speedy smirked, prodding Jeremy’s shoulder teasingly. Jeremy felt his face go hot and shrugged him off.
[larry teases Jeremy, Jeremy panics a little, ze and em debate pulling the fire alarm]
The warehouse doors flew open, and with an odd sort of conviction, in stormed The Golden Boy with Mogar and The Wildcard on either side of him.
“Right, let’s do this, Timothy.” Gavin took position in front of his former crewmate, folding his arms defiantly. Clearly, he was in a very stubborn mood, which didn’t really bode well for them.
“Fuck me.” Jeremy muttered under his breath. He had prepared himself to be making a deal with someone who thought rationally, not Gavin fucking Free.
“Whoa, you brought the whole army?” Michael whistled, sizing up the crew members that stood behind Jeremy defensively.
“Please, this is barely half of them,” Jeremy replied casually, watching as Michael’s eyebrow twitched slightly at the comment. “I couldn’t stop them from tagging along. They wanted to meet our new business partners.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Gavin declared, folding his arms stubbornly, face half-hidden behind gold-rimmed shades.
“As in, you don’t want us to meet you, or you don’t want to be business partners?” Chilled asked. “‘Cause it’s a little too late for the first one.”
“Jeremy, can you tell your subordinates to be quiet? The adults are talking.” Gavin glared at Chilled through his shades.
“Who you callin’ ‘subordinate?!’ I’ll have you know I’ve been here longer than any of these schmucks!” Chilled cried indignantly.
“Ahem.” Ze coughed from beside him.
“Okay, most of these schmucks. Way longer than Jeremy!” Chilled continued his protest.
“It’s true. Technically Chilled and Ze both outrank me, so if you wanna do business I suggest you talk to them, Golden Prick.” Jeremy added smugly, knowing that Gavin didn’t have any desire to speak to people he didn’t know, and even if he did, he’d have a difficult time dealing with Chilled, and maybe Ze if he was feeling mischievous.
“I don’t wanna do business! That’s my entire point, arsehole!” Gavin grumbled, stomping his foot childishly.
“Typical Jeremy - not listening, as per usual.” Lindsay shook their head in faux-disappointment.
“The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Michael copied the gesture.
“Okay, okay. Jeremy’s a little bitch, whatever-“
“Larry!” Apple cut him off with a light smack to the shoulder.
“Their words, not mine!” Larry huffed, gesturing towards the Fakes.
“No one said that…” Michael frowned, muttering under his breath.
“ANYWAY, you guys gotta have a little more patience, y’know? Bossman ain’t even here yet.” Larry continued.
“Unless you’d rather strike a deal right now? We could be out of your hair and you wouldn’t even have to deal with the fireworks later.” Matt chimed in, with a nod of confirmation from Jeremy.
“Fireworks?” Gavin asked.
“Oh, you’ll see.” Matt grinned.
“Hm. Hate that.” Michael mumbled.
[Ray makes an entrance assisted by Platy and Tom, there are literal fireworks, probably]
“Give me one reason we shouldn’t execute you right now.”
“I’ll give you two: You’re literally surrounded by my people, and I thought we were cool!”
“Cool? Cool?! We are not bloody cool! You faked your death so you wouldn’t have to deal with us!”
“Among other reasons.”
“Hey, just checking, is anyone expecting any more guests this evening?”
“Uh, no?”
“Oh, well, there’s a lot of cars currently pulling into the parking-“
“FUCKING HELL!”
“OH, COME ON!”
“DAMNIT!”
[cover is ran for. Jeremy ducks behind a shelf. Gavin gets shot. Gay shit etc etc. Larry once again teases Jeremy. A business deal is made. Fic ends with Michael professing his hatred for Ze]
told you I didn’t finish this, just thought maybe someone else will enjoy my PR1 x FAHC ideas, or my ever-persistent jerevin brainrot lol
I said I’d post more about this fic’s AU so here we go. A lot of them have more complicated lore than what I mentioned in the fic so get ready
(I definitely took some inspiration from the suggestions on the post I made a few days ago so tysm for humouring me lmao)
Chilled: Telepath, uses this to fuck with Apple and Court a LOT. Can almost always tell when people are lying. He has been punched in the face for this on multiple occasions. Twice by Ze, but he definitely deserved it.
Ze: Warlock, partially because of The Great Space Opera (my favourite PR1/ZRC fic ever). He casts spells and stuff, but preferences for magical conduits differ between casters. Ze prefers a crystal orb. (Bonus lore: it was gifted to him by Chilled, as an apology for reading his mind at a bad time)
Kara: Witch. She prefers using runes and verbal incantations, and is a member of a witch activist group that protests the unethical treatment of animals in magic. She has a familiar that can shift between a crow and a snake, which is made of magic.
Tay: Banshee. She can scream really loud, but her death scream is louder than she can make her voice go manually, so people don’t really freak out when she screams at them. She has involuntarily banshee-screamed in front of some people, and those closest to her were deaf in both ears for about 24 hours. Her sharp teeth are unrelated to being a Banshee, and not even Tay is certain why she has them.
Xeen: Half-Vampire. He just didn’t give full vampire vibes idk. He has a lower blood capacity than a human, making him quite pale, and if you felt his heartbeat it would seem quite slow. He still needs to drink blood, but buys it from vampire-specific shops and only gets compelled to bite if he is literally starving. He also still eats food, but tends towards steak and other meats, and takes supplements every day.
Bryce: Celestial. Not quite an angel, as an angel would have wings and a halo (and sometimes… eyes…). Part-lesser solar deity, part-angel, subtly glows most of the time, gets brighter when he’s happy. No wings, but he does have barely visible gold markings on his skin, one of which wraps around his head like a halo.
Larry: Medium. Talks to ghosts. Abilities are hereditary, and his family have performed the job for generations as they feel obligated to provide the service since it’s quite rare in the modern age (especially when it’s not a scam).
Minx: Born to a human and a deity of chaos and mischief. Basically a slightly underpowered and much less evil Loki, but sometimes the chaos surrounding her is involuntary and can become an inconvenience for herself and others.
Apple: Awakened Zombie. Not brainless, and doesn’t eat brains, but was revived from the dead. She can remove some limbs at will, and replace them quite easily. She was raised among vampire hunters and after she defected from this lifestyle they claimed she had been bitten, and she was killed. It was Ze and Kara who resurrected her. Now she uses her detachable limbs to mess with her friends.
Skadj: Demon. Specifically associated with fire, often starts small, harmless flames to mess with people. Fires won’t start if he gets too emotional, but if he’s already started one it will get bigger, so he tends to try and keep things mellow.
Ozza: Wizard. Vampire could have worked for him but this was for the story. He prefers to use a spellbook as his conduit. Wizards are humans raised without knowledge of the magical world, and after they are “inducted” they learn magic, so technically Ozza is wrong about all spellcasters being the same.
Tom: Also a wizard. Only learned about the magical world after he met Matt, was unaware that he was friends with a bunch of supernaturals until after he started dating Matt. They only told him because they thought Matt was lying to him about his species. He wanted to learn magic to fit in with the others, but after an emotional moment with the group he now just learns it for fun.
Matt: Shark Mage. Can transform to have a shark tail and gills under the moonlight, but can’t change during the daytime. Still getting used to not being nocturnal. Has forgiven Tom’s friends for spying on him. Brought Jeremy into the group as they became roommates when Matt moved to Austin to be with Tom.
Jeremy: Werewolf. Behaves more like a dog than a wolf. Speedy was very apprehensive about him but has since become more comfortable around him. Dating a lesser solar deity, and has also dabbled in botanical and blood magic.
Cheesy: Poltergeist. He never died, simply materialised one day as the result of a spell gone wrong. No one really knows his origins, or where he lives, or even HOW he lives, and he keeps things very cryptic purely because he thinks it’s funny. It pisses Chilled off to no end because he can’t read his mind.
Greg: completely human, except he can turn invisible. Uses his powers to fuck with people, but can’t get Chilled because he can sense when people are near him as he hears muffled thoughts all the time. Skadj is very jealous of his powers.
Platy: Fae. Mostly dabbles in alchemy, potion-brewing, and botanical magic. Often has a substance of some kind on him, usually a mushroom or leaf, that can offer some effect, such as pain-relief, temporary invisibility, shrinking, growing, etc.
Junk: Some type of shadow creature. He refuses to elaborate to anyone about himself but it is understood that he is probably immortal according to Chilled (and maybe fought in WWII? iykyk). Possibly capable of shadow travel. Not keen on light.
Sparklez: he’s only briefly mentioned but Jordan is an angel. Wings, halo, the whole shebang. Very traditional, doesn’t like swearing.
Graecie: Clairvoyant. Has visions of the future, sometimes the past. Usually they’re not all that important, but she often will try to incriminate Ze among the group as he frequently antagonises her.
Side: Shapeshifter. Usually shifts into a grey or green snake/lizard, but cannot speak if he shifts into an animal.
Speedy: Witch. Has a cat familiar. Was attacked by feral werewolves at a young age as he tried to defend his familiar from them. He is now afraid of canines of any kind. He prefers using verbal incantations for spellcasting.
Court: Minotaur. Has a more humanoid disguise, provided to her by Kara via an amulet. Comes from a very strange family as Minotaurs are very religious/traditional, but often these religious practices allow her to create calming or soothing auras that surround her. Chilled often likes to test the limits of these auras, and has almost gotten in trouble with her deity for it. (I liked the ideas two people had for Court so much I wanted to do both teehee)
