“What was Bucky like?” (I needed to punch someone in the feels. Sorry Steve).
It’s an inevitability, he supposes, that in sharing life details and the little things that made them them this would be a topic broached. He’d had so little to share from youth to semi-adulthood simply because he hadn’t lived it to the extent of those he grew up with. But he had lived. He’d witnessed horrors no child should have ever had to endure and it had only been up till now that he’d realized he’d been dancing around the worst of it. Glorifying the neighborhood he grew up in with the innocence of a child’s eyes. Cutting out the parts no one wants to remember left him with a narrow path of conversation.
Bucky had made up the majority of his best childhood memories. It was a disservice to avoid mentioning him but that part...that part he’d had to keep to himself. Guard it like something sacred. But she was earnest and something about her had always felt familiar enough. Disarming, charming, like he could confide in her in the late of night when he couldn’t sleep.
“You want another beer? Hold on, lemme get one.” He needs the short walk to her fridge to compose himself, figure it out. Put the pieces back into place and decide if he should divulge the most personal of places.
When he returns he sets her beer down on the coaster, cap already popped and resting against the rim of the glass and he sinks back, nursing his new one too.
“He uh..” Deep breath, Steve. She’s safe. Her whole body’s turned, half curled up in her space on the couch and she’s got her head in the palm of a hand, elbow resting on the back of the couch and it sings at ease. Interested but comfortable. The corner of his lips twitches upwards as he glances at her, stares at the freshly polished natural color making her nail beds glimmer in the dull interior lighting.
“Everyone thinks I’m...” That sounds arrogant and it tastes bad on the tip of his tongue and his lips purse briefly around it but he shakes his head and continues on. “But he... He was the one who dragged me up out of the dirt. Took care of me when my mother couldn’t. At my bedside when I was too sick to even sit up. You’d think...ha. You’d think he was born to it. Lookin’ after someone like me.”
His fingers pace around the girth of the bottle and he takes another long gulp and likes the way it fizzles out into the taste of hops. He just wishes he could get a buzz.
“And y’know...he was real popular. The pretty kind everyone wanted to be associated with, whip smart and never let anyone tell him he couldn’t do somethin’. I was always so amazed throughout the years that here he was, makin’ sure I was a part of whatever it was he was doing even if no one invited me. He never...” Steve has to clear his throat there’s something rising up that feels like a downward spiral into loss and he tosses back another quick mouthful.
“He was the kinda guy that rooted for the underdog. He was a better man than even me. Probably the reason why I made it as long as I did if I’m honest. But he was huge nerd, always loved Howard Stark’s displays at the expo, always raving about the future n’ technology.” He grimaces, that bright goofy over-the-moon smile shot over his shoulder as Stark unveiled the hovercar.
“Even when they made me Captain America, even when I outranked him without all that effort he had put into becoming Sergeant, even when everyone hailed me a hero for doing what I knew he’d do for me...all he did was stand beside me. That dynamic shift...any other man I knew would’ve resented me. Hated me, even. Bucky wasn’t that kinda guy. He’d be whatever you needed.” The bottle whines in his grip, a hairline fracture spreading where his fingers put pressure and he blinks, takes the last few gulps and sets it down on the table.
“Sorry I...I don’t really get to talk about him a lot he.. You’d have really liked him.”