#ysenias

[seahaloed]

@ysenias​ from x

He’s surprised by the rawness of her tone. He’d assumed that her shift in demeanor after Halamshiral had simply been a crisis of conscience... not whatever fear this was that he saw in her wide eyes. The firm hand around his arm and wide eyes make him take a pause from his flippant disguise. 

(had he been in her shoes, he’d preferred if they all died.)

The Warden-Commander is patient as ever with her, easing her bruising grip that even with the layers of clothing he has, digs too firmly for his comfort against his arm. He grips the hand instead of between both of his, squeezing in return.  “Do you think those that are truly awful worry about healing? Worry how good they are?” he ventures.

His eyes skate along with the tightness of her posture, and while he knew her to keep appearances, this felt different. With a slow exhale, Rathlein gives another long moment of heavy silence between them, a chance for her to catch her breath, and he keeps his own level even as he furrows his brows to watch her. “What happened?” he questions finally, pulling her hand tight against him to keep her there so she could not escape it.

[seahaloed]

@ysenias because I simply love them

"Does it hurt?"

The gentle call of gulls overhead gives him pause, the rocking of the boat had made him tired and he isn't sure if he heard her correctly, so he rises and gives Ysenia a look.

"Does it hurt... or do you feel different?" Yesina clarifies as he scrubs worn hands over drowsy features, yawn pulling at his senses. Rathlein purses his lips gently in thought before he resettles with his head in her lap now.

"Yes." he plays with the folded sleeve where the ghost of her left arm is as he gives time and space to pull the words from himself. "I feel different. I ache." He notes in a quiet voice and hates what pity he can see on her face. "When you are a warden--" little remaining loyalty and nostalgia to the order gives him pause, but it is shaken loose by Yesina's searching eyes and a heavy sigh, "You're connected to it all. Every other Warden, every hurlock, ogre, old god, and drop of blight in the world." The rogue releases her sleeve, palm covering over his chest before patting it twice.

"It's just gone now. Empty. I didn't even realize the weight the Joining added, but now that my chest is free of it I feel--"

"Unbalanced?"

He nods slightly, then once more with a grunt for emphasis. "My future was laid out before me. Be a warden for thirty years, fourty if I was lucky, and then march into the Deep Roads and fade into obscurity when my time came.” He rattled off with a lazy wave of his hand, palm reaching up towards the sun to block the rays from his eyes.

He dropped his arm back gently onto his stomach and turned his gaze back to Ysenia; “Alternatively: If I was very lucky--" he gives her a wiry grin, "Kill an Archdemon, make the ultimate sacrifice, and be laid to rest with the other Wardens who made the hard choice before me. Be remembered as a legend." Rathlein chuckles, grip over his chest loosening as the mages' fingers pry into the tight of the hand clutched over his heart and smooth over fresh crescent marks in his palm that now only dully throbbed.

"Now I will die as a Fishmonger... which is a small down grade, admittedly--" it is enough to make her laugh, and that loosens more of the emptiness than he will ever have the bravery to say.

Dying knowing you truly had a friend in the world? Well that was hardly a terrible way to go.

[seahaloed]

(for the things that you need/with your lust and your greed weighing down.)

personals do no reb.log

@ysenias

[seahaloed]

Writing Prompt: Protection || @ysenias​

He’s been trying to write this letter for days now. Sometimes trying to save his own skin and other times refusing to save himself at all. He couldn’t find adequate words for the loyalty the Inquisitor has earned from him.

First Warden,

I have now been away from the Anderfels on assignment with the Inquisition for nearly a year to the day while writing this. I have heard second hand and been present for Inquisitor Yesenia’s continued rise to power.

You and the King of Hossberg tasked me to report on the choices and movements of the Inquisition while under the guise of supporting the Orleasian Wardens in their transition from following Warden-Commander Clarel and reorganizing their ranks. While I believe myself to be trusted by the Inquisitor, and until now have been able to send my reports with seemingly no issue, I do believe Lady Nightingale, the Inquisition spymaster has still remained suspicious of me.

I also believe--

Rathlein tears the letter in half, frustrated sigh leaving him as he hears the door open. He expects a recruit but is instead met with Yesenia's familiar gaze in the door. The sun is much lower in the sky than he thought, and hunger gnawed at his gut now that he gave himself a moment to think about anything else.

“I’ll be just a moment” he reassured, watching her pull away to mill around outside. It was not simpler, but honesty came easier than trying to obfuscate what he was telling the First Warden.

First Warden,

I will no longer be able to continue with my mission as originally intended. While I understand the need to monitor and manage an organization that has the political power to conscript wardens, I can no longer do so in good conscience.

I will remain at the Inquisitor’s side until the darkspawn known as Corypheus has been dealt with, as she has unquestionably earned my trust. I pray you to understand and respect the gravity of this decision. If you decide that punishment for insubordination must take place, I am happy to submit to one.

Expect no further reports on the Inquisition from me.

Warden-Commander Rathlein Ciriane

Rathlein took the time to seal the letter, tucking it into his desk drawer to trust an outgoing Warden with over the next few days. For now, he rose with a soft grunt to join Ysenia outside in the cool Skyhold air. He pulled his cloak around his shoulders, securing it as he came to her side. “Lady Inquisitor?” he ventured, extending his elbow with an easy smile, “May I escort you to the Great Hall for dinner?” he wondered, brows raising slightly.

He could give her this. If he could not always give her levity, or ease of choice he could give her his loyalty in earnest instead of this half-lived thing he’s given her until now. She has earned it with her honesty and deserved honesty in return.

[traitresse]

@ysenias

                             “inquisitor- if i might have a moment.”

                     the evening has been dramatic to say the least - but briala couldn’t be happier with the turn of events. but she wanted just a MOMENT alone with the champion of the evening, something PRIVATE, away from even her spies’ prying eyes. 

                              “you have done great things for my PEOPLE - our people - tonight. i just wished to know why you made the choices that you did. though you can rest assured that you will never be forgotten by the elves of orlais. as promised, my agents are yours.”

[korcariapostate]

@ysenias​ said:

“of course it meant something!”

      how fickle the attentions of others , morrigan thought weakly . it mattered little whether or not the inquisitor was chosen by the maker , or mythal , or any of the other multitude of GODS littering the pantheons of thedas , morrigan was unimpressed . by the inquisition , the inquisitor , and most of all , by the would be GOD attempting to claim a spot in the black city . as such , the witch crossed her arms abruptly .

        ❝ before joining your ranks , i studied your words -- your choices , and your declarations . . .  ❞        the witch tilted her head with a raised brow .         ❝ you have done an excellent job convincing thedas of your role in the inquisition , but i am uninterested in the words of a HERO . i have watched heroes grow into power only to DIE . ❞

      and there was the guilt she would inevitably feel later .

            ❝ i wish to know what the woman before me thinks . what she FEELS . so tell me , before i can properly lend my aid , what ARE your thoughts on your growing army ? ❞

[seahaloed]

“can we start over?” || @ysenias​

Rathlein sits up a little from his slumped position, eyes wide with an amused look at the woman. Here he was in a bar at the edge of the world and she sought him out. The rogue took a long sip from his drink and offered her the seat beside him.

“You lost some weight--” he gestures at the folded sleeve of her missing arm. There’s something like an apology in his eyes, but he knows that pitty doesn’t help. “Should I be worried, have you been eating enough?” he ventures with a smile braiding over his lips.

(this was an easy rhythm with her that he took to like breathing.)

An easy silence settles in around them, and he taps the bar twice to get a drink served. “My bad--” the rogue then sighed, as if sudden realization hit him, and he extended a hand, “You look like someone I knew once. My name is Rathlein.” he introduced, his handshake far warmer than their first meeting back in Skyhold. He rose her hand and gave the back of her knuckles a dramatic kiss, “What should I call you, my Lady?” he ventured, releasing her hand in favor of a companionable look instead.

He would not mind starting over. That seemed nice. It seemed deserved.

[seekerdivine]

@ysenias​ || short sc

It had been tense among everyone, one topic off limits of conversation seemed to regard the ruling party of Orlais. The Inquisition had reached beyond saving the world and toward influencing POLITICS. A dangerous step- it held context that may not be entirely favorable in the coming times. And it was Gaspard at the end, much to the Seeker’s surprise and approval. But Ysenia’s reasoning why- it had to be deeper, or perhaps shallower , than political opinion. Their sole purpose had been to save the Empress and yet , “I will be grateful if we never have to attend another one of those balls again.” it was one stance she had NOT been shy on,  how much Cassandra despised everything the game ‘  accomplished ’ and stood for. it seems the easiest way to broach the events of the night, thoughts and questions wavering.