Which song fucks you up more?
Asu No Yozora Shokaihan
My Immortal
Asu no Yozora Shokaihan (Yuara Cover)
The Big Dipper's first star illuminates the darkness, dancing into the sky and beyond this world/"Let's start facing towards tomorrow again, both you and me"/"If this is to end as a dream, at least allow me to change yesterday..."/I won't say anything like that, so let me keep smiling together with you, tomorrow as well
"Being afraid of what the future holds is an all too familiar feeling. Change can be terrifying sometimes, and it's easier to wish for the past and wish that the next day never comes. Having someone there to hold your hand and smile with you makes it easier to face the future, however scary it might be. It's easier to look forward to tomorrow. and it hurts all the more when they're gone. maybe you'll get to see them again. maybe it's a "see you later" and not a "goodbye". but it still doesn't feel real. it can't be real. this can't be happening. (it's real, and it hurts, and hurts, and hurts) memories become even more precious, cherishing the time you spent together and engraving those moments into your heart. their voice still echoes and you keep going. the future's still waiting for you, waiting to see what happens next. (and maybe tomorrow is the day "see you later" becomes "it's nice to see you again"). this song is... a lot, for me. in a good way. I cried the first time I heard it. it's not quite cathartic, but singing along does make things easier to process sometimes. it's hard when the last "see you later" turns into "goodbye" when you least expect it. I wanted it to be a bad dream so I could wake up (and sometimes it still feels like one). but the future's still waiting, even if she's not gonna be there tomorrow to see it with me. so I try to greet the world for the both of us, carrying her memory in my heart (I miss her. I miss her a lot. We'd been friends for nearly a decade before she moved away. I didn't hear much from her for years and then when I finally did hear something it was the bad news from someone else.) (I can't live out her dreams for her. But I can live for her. I can meet tomorrow and take things in stride and make what I want a reality. It's what she would've done.)"
My Immortal (Evanescence)
"Behind the meme punchlines and the fanfiction, it's a song about grief, loneliness and denial of loss. For some reason in high school my mind processed it as the loss of a sibling and then I was crying on the school bus."
