Which Districts I think each VSMP character would belong to if they were in the Hunger Games universe. Inspired by a HG au post made by @lightblueglazedterracotta. Sorry I have brainworms now. If I'm so inclined I might write a fic...
Explanations below the cut. Warning it's EXTREMELY LONG! Also, sorry if anything is inconsistent, I wrote this over the course of several days. (Also, going in the order of the Tierlist):
Scott - Obviously I feel he'd be a Capitol citizen. Probably in the upper echelon of even the richest people in Panem. The Goldsmiths are probably a name with a lot of history there - lots of politicians and celebrities and stuff. Maybe a Gamemaker or two. Scott I think wouldn't be anything to important, weirdly enough. Despite being ambigously noble in VSMP, I get the feeling he's more into the "doing whatever you want" part of being a powerful vampire elder and way less into like... the political intrigue. Even if he indulges in that on occasion. So translating that to living in the Capitol, I think he'd grow dissatisfied with any job that was too serious. Which is why I have him listed as a District Escort instead. That's about the quarter of the work of a standard Games employee with then times more of the accolades than anyone other than the Gamemaker themself is going to get. Aside from the Tributes and Mentors, but they're not really employed in the traditional sense. I think he'd be the Escort for more wealthy Districts, and he wouldn't mind if a few of his Tributes died - so long as it didn't reflect poorly on his end. Also, I think he'd have specifically been the Escort for Shelby and Pyro when they were in the games, which I'll get to in a second.
Sausage (Mr. M) - District One. Luxury Goods. While books themselves probably fall under Seven due to paper being made with trees, I feel like District One would be the center of the arts outside of the Capitol itself. And since Sausage is an artsy dude, he goes here. I think he is specifically a past Victor, and he's been publishing books post-Games when he isn't mentoring. How did he win.... Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh-
Martyn - District One! Tribute. Being mentored by Sausage. Wish him luck cause he's gonna fucking need it. As much as I associate D1 with the arts, I also associate it with opulence. And with Martyn faking nobility, I think it would make sense for him to be in the highest numbered District, while not being a Capitol citizen. Obviously this is a little flawed, since no one would mistake a District Tribute for a Capitol citizen. So, maybe during his time in the Games, he attempts to appeal to the Capitol watchers by insisting he's not so different from them at all.
Drift - District Two. Masonry and Military. As much as I hate to say it. Drift is technically a cop... And the Panem equivalent of cops... Are. Peacekeepers... So. Like.... I mean I guess, she could also be a P.I. but I don't know if that sort of career is particularly legal in Panem???? IDK. Whatever she is, I don't think she'd be a Tribute. Feel free to add your input here fellow HG fans.
Legundo - District Two. Former Victor. Wanted to join the Peacekeepers before he ended up volunteering for the Games. Afterward he couldn't bring himself to do it. Even if he's still pretty intertwined with them due to being in D2. Definitely won by poisoning the water supply in the arena. I think he was probably a favored Victor for a while, until he got more and more disillusioned with everything. He's probably a mentor a lot, both as a way to keep ratings up, but also as some form of fucked up punishment for any odd statements he's made against the Games in the past...
Apo - District Two. Tribute. Much like Legs was planning to join the Peacekeepers, though that plan was messed up when they were reaped. District Two usually has volunteers, so I imagine this was some kind of mistake; one that wouldn't be rescinded by the Capitol lest it embarrass them at such a tumultuous time. Obviously their biggest goal is to win so they can get back to Cherri, whose back in D2 waiting for her. Legs is definitely her mentor. And she's definitely not popular in the Capitol. Imagine the incident with Martyn but televised to an entire nation. Oof.
Shelby - District Three. Victor. I've talked about this in my reblog before, but to summarize; I picked D3 because of their relation to Pyro in this theoretical AU and also because of their association with specifically fanfic - which is more "online focused" and thus more tech-based then standard non-digital writing. Also I think in order to run a blog or a fan page you'd need readily available internet, both the for the pages themselves but also to access the media they'd be talking about. Which is what I feel Shelby does in their free time for this futuristic setting. Also I wanted them to be in the upper four Districts so that Scott could be their Escort during the games. The OOP of the post this is inspired by also posited the idea that Shelby could be a stylist, which is also very cool! Though, I am going for the District angle so we have a Capitol minority and Districts majority here.
Pyro - District Three. Former Tribute. Suuuper dead. Rest in pieces my guy. Whatever District Shelby is in, Pyro has to be in, since they were District partners in this AU I'm cooking up spontaneously here. Pyro growing up wealthy puts them in the upper five (more likely upper four) DIstricts, and out of all of these, I feel D3 makes the most sense (though I would also settle for D5, which would mean Shelby is also there). Pyro's very scholarly and all of the D3 citizens in the books are very intelligence-first overall. Granted, Pyro's not a tech major, they're a sociology, history kind of person. But hey, more access to the internet means more access to stuff on those topics. Not that it matters, since he's super dead I mean. There's only meant to be one Victor after all. And it's not like anyone was rooting for them...
Owen - District Seven. Lumber. Victor. This is kind of a given. Bro is a Lumberjack, guess where all those guys are in this country where material gathering is focused in sectors. It's also in the lower half of the Districts, meaning less wealth, but it's also higher up in that latter half meaning Owen could still reasonably be disconnected from the greater community of D7 due to being poor, as well as due to his illness. Just gonna steal this directly from the original post I keep referencing. Owen had his name pulled twice. The first time, Louis volunteered in his place. The second, he had no one but himself, and his fury. He's probably hated by the Capitol, but they don't do much about him because he largely keeps to himself unless bothered. Probably doesn't even live in Victor's Village most of the time. Just fucks off into the woods and grieves all day long. The few times they do bring him in, he's treated like a public spectacle, which gives him all the more reason to show them why he shouldn't be brought back the next year.
Ren - District Nine. Grain. Victor. Ngl, this is just because of "cookies" and "wheat beer". Which isn't interesting. BUT!!! In this AU he'd also be an Avox. Instead of having a cursed tongue, he just doesn't get to talk at all. RIP! Despite that, I think he still gets pulled to mentor a lot. Mostly to show the other Victors what happens if you speak out against the Capitol too much (which how Mr. Dogmourne got his tongue cut out in the first place.)
Cleo - District Eleven. Agriculture. Victor. Probably lived in the wealthier part of the District, whatever their equivalent of the Merchant's Square is in D12. I think their mom was a rebel who got snitched on by one of her allies in exchange for a higher status. One that probably wasn't up to snuff but oh well. There's no going back. Especially not for Cleo. Maybe this all happened the week Cleo got back from the Games. Extra angst, y'know. Also I imagine they got trackerjacked in place of being enthralled here. It's wearing off as they age, but it's taken a toll on them. They mentored a lot over the years, since they were easy to control. But even nowadays they know well enough to keep their mouth shut, so they're probably a "favored" Victor amongst the Capitol elite.
Pearl - I couldn't figure out where to put Pearl. Canonically she's from the same town as Shelby, I think? But I don't really see her as either D3 or the alternative D5. If I had to pick between the two, probably the latter. However, I'm slotting her into D13, since they're the heart of the rebellion, and Pearl has this whole thing about "killing those who kill". I doubt she'd be chill with the whole Hunger Games thing. Maybe she was originally from a different District and her family got experimented on and turned into Mutts (instead of being werewolves, they'd be wolf-mutants), and Pearl managed to escape to District Thirteen.
Abolish - District Thirteen. Operative. He was definitely born and raised there, and was trained from birth to work for the same thing basically everyone else in D13 is working for; the destruction of the Capitol. I think he goes undercover just like he did in the original VSMP, acting as waitstaff or even posing as an Avox to gather intel on important figures in the Capitol. He probably does so a lot during the Games time of year, since there's probably a lot of important people in the same place during that time.