"from the depths of your heart" / @yurel 👁️👁️
send in " from the depths of your heart " for the receiver to tell the sender's muse something that they've always wanted to tell them, but has never had the opportunity to do so. || @yurel || accepting
💥 || Often, Hanzo Hasashi finds himself free falling; he can’t think straight, he can’t reach out to anything because they are too weak to grasp onto. The scalding cascade of tears fall involuntarily, and his broad chest is growing heavy with turmoil that he has spent years trying to work through, and then his body thinks it is gradually dying. He may no longer dig himself deeper, and deeper into a pit of despair until his mind puts him six feet under. And his bones are lonely, hallow, splintered, aching; with his heart has run dry and there in spiders and roaches and maggots make home in the hollowed husk where his swollen red heart used to sit. Hanzo Hasashi did not need to be damned with Sadako’s unbound rage towards absence of humanity she faced with utter cruelty and abomination, and Hanzo’s magnanimous, warm heart came like awareness, as the parasite of such crude curse ravaged through his jeopardized sanity, as his manic obsession clutched onto the very videotape, while his proverbial hope and despair played eternal tug-of-war amidst his subconscious.
Nobody looked good in one’s darkest hours; but it’s those hours that makes Hanzo Hasashi what he is; an intense, stubborn, indomitable man wrapped in his guilt, wrath, and remorse. His palms are still crimson-coated and his steps crimson-streaked, with the tightened strings of his heart threatening to stretch and snap. The distorted white static, then the tenebrous hollow of abysmal gaze that was Sadako’s vengeful glare, bearing deep into the depths of his traumatized heart and soul, all amounted him to drop dead in septic shock, as his petrified nerves will forever still, as his limbs would be bent over in all the wrong angles.
Hanzo Hasashi still takes care to invest all of his strength and energy on keeping up appearances as a respectable Commander of the law and disguising his insecurities with steeled exterior, projecting a secure, assertive, and confident presence with a kind and courageous heart. But he was a hollowed husk, perhaps already bludgeoned and shoved into the very well full of tainted rot and tenebrous darkness. He bears tornado heartbeats and constellations in his eyes, but his soul is lost at fathomless sea, meant to suffocate and drown.
“When you made yourself an audience in my whirling life, I was at my worst. I thought love was an inconceivable and undeserving facet of my life that will never come. Despite the wanton desire for seeking one overflowed as I would often dream of the halcyon days of my happiest days of my life...,” Hanzo Hasashi still does to an extent, as he recalls the taste of Harumi’s soft, plump lips and dream of the touch of her fingertips. The way that her hands fit into his larger one, as he would secure his hold against her breasts. The passing film reel of his past would feel like a dream within a dream, a quenching oasis in the desolate, debilitating onslaught of enervating heat draining every ounce of his willpower, strength, and resolve. “While we were both humbled in our own respective brokenness and crumbling... You have greatly aided me in fighting some of my fiercest battles, even in our deafening, seemingly eternal silences and quarrels.”
Even in their physical and psychological distance, Hanzo Hasashi would never feel of being left alone. “I used to feel that I no longer had a reason to stay awake, for the moment I open my eyes, my mind would begin to ache. No reason left to live and with nothing worth dying for, as I was in limbo surrounded by the loss of the one I adore. Trying to find a new reason to live, I begin looking inside, walking into the dark where my inner demons reside. Even they lack any glee now that I thought they had already won, It seems all my demons and I finally agree that I wasn’t completely done and my life wasn’t over with. Living alone without you is not what I would call a life, for you were the only one I ever wanted to call my beloved after I lost my wife.” 💥 ||