#zagreus lo

[incorrect-au-master]

Hera’s new strategy.

Hera (to herself): all of this b*tch-hunting is making a mess out of my reputation... perhaps i should try a change on my routine...

Hera: which was Zeus’ plaything of the week? Semele was it? Poor girl’s just so young and naive... I think i’ll go easy on her.

*next day*

Hera: there, now she will just break up with Zeus and wont be a bother anymore.

Zeus: *comes in hiding something*

Hera: welcome back dea- *sniffs* why do i smell roasted meat?...

Zeus: oh, nothing! I, uh... gottadosomething BYE! *leaves*

Hera: *realization in horror* Oh no...

[incorrect-au-master]

Dionysus’ fathers.

Dionysus: hey dad... Do you... do you think i look like Zeus?...

Hades: *concerned* why are you asking, Zagreus?

Dionysus: it’s just... answer the question please...

Hades: come here *taking a closer look*

Hades: well... i won’t deny you two are pretty look alike... he’s still your biological father after all.

Dionysus: *still concerned*

Hades: but, if you’re asking me if you ARE like Zeus, well... i’d say you two share some traits...

Dionysus: you think?...

Hades: you inherited some of his traits... but fortunately, not ALL of them.

Hades: sure, you two are sort of hot-headed and you should check a bit on your livido too... but you’re also passionate and very sociable, and i for one, am glad for it.

Dionysus: really?...

Hades: of course! Besides, the fact that you actually concern proves that you’re even better than him. 

Hades: and let me tell you, there’s some things about himself he doesn’t feel proud of either.

Dionysus: *sobbing* thank you dad!...

Hades: anytime little grapevine... *hugs* anytime...

[incorrect-au-master]

You all remember Ariadne has a crown made out of stars?

I think we can all agree that (in my AU) Hades crafted it as a wedding gift for Dionysus (Zagreus) to his wife-to-be.

Just look at how Hades uses his “shiny rocks” to emulate shooting stars! It fits so perfectly for Ariadne’s crown and Corona Borealis!

What a better present for a son and a daughter in law than a star cut diamonds tiara?

[incorrect-au-master]

The god with 3 mothers.

Melinoe: ok, so if i’m right, Zagreus has 3 moms: 

Melinoe: a human mom: Semele.

Melinoe: an adoptive mom: Persephone.

Melinoe: and a step-mom: Hera.

Ariadne: he calls me ‘mommy’ too.

*silence....*

Ariadne: too soon?

[incorrect-au-master]

Persades kids react to THE TAPE.

Macaria: hey guys! Look what i found *shows them the tape*

Melinoe: what is that thing...?

Zagreus: that’s a video tape. That’s how old people used to record vids in ancient times. 

Macaria: Oh, cool... Let’s watch it!

---*FILM START*---

Zagreus: Wait... is that... dad?

Macaria: EEEP! Why is he naked?! *covers Melinoe’s eyes*

Melinoe: hey! can’t see!

Macaria: this isn’t a dirty video, is it?...

Zagreus: doubt it... that’s sounds more like uncle Poseidon...

---*5 mins later*---

Zagreus: pfff, this is hilarious! I can’t believe that’s how our parents met.

Macaria: awww, that’s so cute! They’re SO made for eachother.

Melinoe: such dorks...

(if we reach 50 likes/reblogs i’ll make the second part)

[incorrect-au-master]

How did the girls react to Zag being adopted?

Macaria: *13 years old* so, if Zagreus is adopted, that means he’s not our big brother?

Hades: well, we adopted him, so technically he is.

Melinoe: *10 years old* but who are Zagreus parents then?

Hades: your uncle Zeus and-

Melinoe: did mommy sleep with uncle Zeus?

Persephone: what?! of course not!

Macaria: oh, so aunty Hera is his mom?

Hades: um... no dear. It was this human girl name Semele.

Macaria: so he is our cousin, like Ares or Hebe?

Persephone: well... technically... yes.

Melinoe: but you just said he’s our brother...

Hades: because we adopted him.

Macaria: so you adopted our cousin? why?

Persephone: well... your uncle wanted to hide him from Hera, and your dad and i wanted to have a child, so...

Melinoe: but you have us too...

Hades: well... back then we were not sure if we could have children...

Both: why??

Persephone: well... some people, like your dad, just can’t have children the regular way...

Macaria: then how you had us? 

Persephone: cause I’m a fertility goddess! 

Melinoe: but Zag is ALSO a fertility god...

Hades: well, that’s just a coincidence...

Macaria: ...i think i’m lost...

Melinoe: yeah, me too...

Persephone: same...

Hades: look, just... *sighs* just keep treating him like your own brother, ok?

Both: OK!

[incorrect-au-master]

Underworld family watches THE TAPE.

*Hades and Persephone come into the room*

Persephone: hey kids! what are you doing?

Zagreus, Macaria and Melinoe: *watching the tape*

Hades: oh my gods...

Persephone: OH MY GODS!

Persephone: make some room! I wanna watch too! 

Hades: please, not this again...

Persephone: it’s been YEARS since the last time i watched this, where did you guys found it?

Macaria: daddy’s nightstand cabinet. 

Hades: *sighs* of course...

(second part of THIS post: https://tmblr.co/Zq_lfaZHjNhlea00 )

[incorrect-au-master]

Zagreus learns the truth:

Dionysus: So...if you're not my real parents... what happened to them?

Hades: Well... about that. You should ask your uncle Zeus.

Dionysus: *gasps* Did uncle Zeus killed them?

Zeus: *appears* No, Zagreus...

Zeus: I AM your father.

Dionysus: *shocked* No. No! That's not true! That's impossible!

Dionysus: no, wait... actually that makes total sense...