Right, so I just deleted the entire app for my writing and everything including all my 13 Free!, 22 Jujutsu Kaisen, 3 Blue Lock, 3 Aoyama-kun, 3 Kichiku Megane, 1 Chainsaw Man, 1 Whitchblade and some uncategorised other works…
EVERYTHING GOT DELETED!!! GONE!!! KAPUT!!!
God, I’m going to kms. I can’t do this anymore. If I had managed to get a computer all this time I wouldn’t be in this situation. What’s absolutely killing me is that half of these works were in the editing process aka I would be starting posting them by the first Saturday of August. I can’t write these things again. It was a slow process that took me months and years in the free! and Kichiku cases. What I’m mostly crying my eyeballs out rn are the long nearly 7k words, half an hour ago edited Gonana which I was so proud of for how it had turned out and the multi chaptered steamy SukuIta. I had poured all my love, attention to detail and beautifully crafted imagery in those two works. I feel like dying. Or more like. I just died inside. I’m… 🪦
Why the fuck hadn’t I kept duplicates? WHY?! I used to send my works to my email but after my pc burned I got lazy doing that. FUCK!!!🧿
And why on earth was that the only app that asked me if I wanted it deleted but had no option to remove from the operating screen like all other apps??? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?!
And the biggest irony? I still have the prompt I wrote for a Toji story. Well fuck you, Toji! I’m not in the mood to write anything anymore._(:3 」∠)_
I don’t know how to say this, but my brain has this safety valve where it won’t let me ship certain things.
Like, there’s a danger warning or something about two characters being together as anything remotely different from friends and my system will just go down until I change subject, you know? Also, I seem to have an allergy in canon if certain conditions aren’t met, so that may explain why I write for fandom in rare ships. lol
And then my favs, are just so varied… I have no type of an otp. It’s not just this or that. But I have come to realise that there are some underlying things these characters will have in common. Like.. I don’t know… why DO I like SouHaru so much that it hurts? Why DO I like AoKa for so long? WHY DO I LIKE GoNana in spite of everything that has transpired throughout the series? It’s because despite the fact that they’re inherently different characters (personalities) they still have something in common that is very deeply rooted in each pair in which they also happen to compliment each other. Or so I see…
SouHaru? They love swimming to the point they would sacrifice themselves to obtain it. Sousuke has the mentality and Haru has the charisma. Together they make whole. 🥰
AoKa? They love basketball to the point they lose themselves when they can’t have it. Again, Aomine has the charisma and Kagami has the persistence. Together they make it work. 😎
GoNana? They hate jujutsu society to the core (without defecting)! Gojo has the absolute technique (is it also in bed? lmao) and the brains and Nanami has insane perseverance and brute force (very hardware of himself if I may point out, also extremely tactical but that’s how he keeps up with Go(d)jo!). Their techniques are also very close, as Gojo’s is mainly mathematically expressed physics (it’s the software we used at school man! Only tweaked to work outside lab environment! 😭) and Nanami’s is geometrically applied mechanics… do I make sense? They Mathematically add up!!! 😭😭😭
Should I also go ahead and explain why I’m obsessed with SukuIta? Even though it’s probably the one ship with the most obvious mechanics in my fleet. hehehe
And look at ZaizenAo: They love football to bits and what else do they also have in common? It’s their absurdity! Zaizen’s plays are rough and ‘dirty’, while Aoyama’s are refined and highly technical— both to extremes. And they also compliment each other, like in these graphs. ↓
They make perfect together! Haha Also, Zaizen is the only one Aoyama has smiled to! Take that and run!!! 😈
What’s funny to me, is that these are not necessarily opposites-attract or too-similar-they’re-exactly-alike, kinds of dynamics. It’s only some aspects of their personalities that fit in one category and some that fit in the other. Also, GoNana is the only pair that is quincunx among my ships and my only bias on opposites are Virgo-Pisces. Aka, very little drama queen energies but highly painful shackle shedding. But everything is for a good cause, ok? There is always a good reason to be together in these pairings because it’s not just mindless passion. It’s the slow burn or complete lack of burn that makes them possible. Yes, I like angst, sue me~
Now, I could go on about other aspects I love of each ship or how my other ships fit in this pattern, but this is going to be a long-ass post if I do. They also work nicely in reverse as well, btw. And to be frank, I would like to explain how my notps work, but then I’d have to be mean, right? I don’t want that. I’ll just say that some things are not supposed to get a stronger hold than to just set the cogs of a story in motion.
“Not every couple is destined to marry.” — Umeya Tsubasa (Keppeki Danshi Aoyama-kun) (and yes, this has a double meaning in my book! 😋)
Btw! I finished rewatching Keppeki Danshi Aoyama-kun yesterday and boy had I forgotten some funny moments!
But the most important thing is… reading the comments had me in tears because, how could those series have so many homophobes? It’s insane! 😂 So funny!
And the wiki? A 1000 times worse! There were full blown wars between the AoGo and AoOda shippers… insane stuff I’m telling you! *clutches pearls* 🫢
Boy, you know what I’m saying! Aoyama should just ditch the girls and stay with Zaizen! Hahaha
If it doesn’t work this way or that way, take the highway! LMAO 🤣🤣🤣
