Ichigo, honey,,,, my beautiful little sweet strawberry spiky boy,,, I love you but
Why in the FUCK Is Your Sword Like That
- a Bleach rant by me.
Look at this beautiful weapon. This is Ichigo's original Zampakutou. Sure, it's hugely oversized, unpractical, definitely too heavy to exist as a real blade for a real person. But that doesn't matter, does it? Because Ichigo is a ghost, so of course so is his sword. His shiny, well taken care of, beautiful and ornated like it came straight out of Final Fantasy 7 sword. And what's better about it? It's SAFE! It's got an actual HANDLE and a HILT to stop your hand from sliding into the slashy metal blade of death. You can fight with that! You can fight with style!
OH WAIT NEVERMIND, LET'S JUST THROW THE BITCH IN THE TRASH
And just like that, the weapon you were so used to and learned to love for a whole entire season bites the dust. And in it's place we get This:
Fucked Up Abomination
Jeebus chribus this thing is a safety hazard. It looks so uncomfortable. It's just a long and hard CHUNK of metal, and the "handle" is a flat stick covered in bandages. Are you supposed to hold that?? Specially when there's nothing between slippy hands and the edgy slashy black blade of Death. And it DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A CASE. JUST THREE METERS OF RIBBON THAT YOU WRAP AROUND IT, and which are still attached to it when this stupid idiot boy breaks it out to fight. What if you step on that?? That's one way to get decapitated by an out-of-control guillotine on a leash. Between this and the beautiful and unpractically practical Actual Sword Ichigo had before, it's no surprise if you get angry seeing this ugly and barely-functional thing.
And does he ever get his old sword back? No. Never again! This is it, mothers and fuckers!
But you guys don't understand. This is why it's so fun. This is literally Bleach's whole appeal. ICHIGO'S SUPERPOWER IS LITERALLY BEING AN OVERPOWERED MOTHERFUCKER!!! If he needs a new sword, of course he's gonna take the worst weapon design ever and make it work! Better than anyone ever could! Wanna know how?
Do you remember how Bleach's Zampakutous work?
The thing is that the swords have three levels of superpower. You have the Normal Sword state of being, you have the Shikai, which makes the sword become cooler, and then you have the Bankai, which makes you and the sword become WAAAY cooler.
And of course the only way to unlock it is being friends with them, because why the fuck not. They are Alive, and they have Names, and if you get to know them, they will have your back.
But Ichigo's overpowered ass just lost his fucking sword because he had no idea it was Alive. Not that anyone bothered to tell him until it was too late but ok I’m not bitter. So he had to go through a whole ordeal of Getting to Know His Sword, and in the end, as he screams it’s name, he wills it back into existence in Shikai form. That sword goes on to help him through his hardest over-the-top Shonen battles, and even it’s safety-hazard ribbon ends up being used for something far more friendly, such as bandaging and healing him.
And then it just. Stays like that.
Guys, remember for a second, the “new sword” Ichigo keeps on using from then on and into forever, is his Shikai. In it’s original deactivated form, Zangetsu would be just a handle. The thing is that, Ichigo just never deactivates it. Knowing him, he probabbly forgot to consider the possibility. Had it been any other Shinigami in his situation, they’d probabbly keep it as a handle. Why?
Because Shikai are not infinite use, either.
According to the lore in the 3rd season, Zampakutous in Shikai form have a limited number of strikes they can do before resuming their form and recharging. Any shinigami in their right mind would deactivate it after use, as to not constantly burn out spiritual power, as well as it being way more practical and safe to carry (like a Lightsaber, that you can grab from your belt and activate! Would have been cool). But no, Ichigo doesn’t even notice it, and doesn’t even care how impractical it is, because his superpower is Being Superpowered.
Which also, by association, means Ichigo’s Shikai has infinite use and infinite strikes. Because of course he does, the dumbass.
