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So I was rereading Chapter 84 (you know, as one does,) when I noticed the title "A Man Who Knows"

And I usually don't pay attention to chapter titles but this one got me thinking. Like, Who knows What?

Clearly this is a chapter focused on Zanka (seeing as this was told from his perspective) so it's safe to assume that the title is talking about him. The chapter also starts with the whole hospital™ scene of him and Enjin (forever in my heart and brain) which I feel is also very important for the whole vibe of the chapter

(and also putting their relationship up till then into a new light, their dynamic when they're alone is addictive to me)

This scene feels so much like Enjin presenting Zanka a "thought experiment" and trying to pick apart his brain with the answer he'll give him. It just feels so on equal ground and speaks of respect for each others opinion it CHANGED shit okk

(but anyways back on topic⬇️)

This scene with Zanka's lecture to Rudo kept bugging me because it just all seemed so vague, slightly confusing and contradictory.

I was wondering why until I noticed that most of this is just?? Zanka projecting himself unto Rudo? He's clearly seeing himself in some of this (don't get me wrong hes also very much trying to teach Rudo a lesson here but it's also a lesson personal to him if that makes sense)

"first i'ma remind you of what you're forgetting" ⬇️

Said by the man who moments before clearly stated that everything and everyone else is a side quest to his main goal (which is making Enjin proud and reaching his full potential but the only thing standing between him and that is himself, anyway) and that he doesn't care if Rudo is side tracking his main goal by making friends?? Zanka you're contradicting yourself?

What to do after that-> Mister One Goal And Everything Else Is Side Quest

You'd assume that Zanka is trying to tell Rudo that he should focus on his main goal? That making friends is good and all but he shouldn't lose sight of his plan for revenge????

But he's telling him that Actually He Should take the time to be kind to others and "have fun". He's saying that he needs to not be single-minded?

Maybe he's trying to remind Rudo that he is doing this for a cause, that it's good to make friends but to also remember why he even wants to achieve his main goal in the first place. To stick to what he wants to archive ? Experience new things as a way to further help you reach your goal?

"I get it. You don't know how to reach out yet, that's all" and its beside a panel of Rudo and Amo talking about "connecting to others... together" .... Do I really gotta spell it out

UGH. Is he thinking about Enjin here be honest

All the "don't lose sight of why you're doing this" and "don't know how to reach out yet"... the room is made out of glass

AND IF YOU REACH YOUR GOAL YOU'LL BE REWARDED

. And. We all know what* Zanka's reward is (*Who)

This is just so,,,, AHH, because it again shows how fucked up Zankas is. This just basically implies that Zanka himself doesn't believe that he can "have fun" until he has proven himself strong and worthy enough. "Prove it to me" with an implied "but until then.." do you get what I'm saying??

And even Zanka seems surprised by himself which only makes me believe even more that he was heavily projecting and slightly thinking about other things/knows he wasn't making complete sense? At least not if you're only thinking about Rudo in this conversation

"if he's gonna be obsessed with revenge and nothing else it'd be such a waste."

A Man who knows how important it is to not lose sight of your goal, to remember who you're doing this for. And it all leads back to love it's so insane

Rudo wants revenge because he loved his father, Zanka wants to get stronger to prove himself to Enjin it's. Guys it's love.

A Man Who Knows how important the connection to others is while still maintaining sight of one's goal. He's telling Rudo to stick to his goal™ but also hoped that he learns for himself how to make and care for the connections he has with others and!!! Remembering his cause!! The gifts and flowers from the beginning of the chapter as symbolism of caring for and connecting with others I-

But the problem is that for Zanja this is all basically the same thing because: his cause= Enjin, sticking to his goal = bc Enjin, his human connection?!? Fucking guess.

"it'd be such a waste" YEAH HE SJOULD KNOW BECAUSE

He HIMSELF doesn't believe it's possible to achieve both things at the same time like BESTIE what are you DOING

He wants Enjin so bad and it's showing

This scene feels just SO conflicting. He's trying to remind Rudo that his goal(=revenge) doesn't come before Everything (=connecting to others) while also saying that he shouldn't lose sight of his main goal and his reward will only come after he's done. And UGH.

Enjin is haunting this chapter like crazy 😭 fused into every aspect of Zanka's life and that bitch doesn't even know oh they're tragic

#my first draft got deleted and I'm MAD #this chapter is making me have so many thoughts #and I probably should've separated this post into like 3 different parts but #too late I guess #zanjin #enzn #enzan #enjin #zanka nijuku #gachiakuta meta #zanjin Meta #I'm trying to make sense of this idc if I sound crazy

oh I'm sick

#zanka you are theee best connection enjin ever made #congrats you crazy gay bitch #so zanjinpilled you notice that 2 lines addressed to rudo together make a parallel to rudo's father 160 chapters later #gachiakuta #enjin gachiakuta #enjin #zanka nijiku #gachiakuta chapter 165 #zanjin meta #gachiakuta spoilers

ch 12 ch 130

#the thing is not even about this page but the dialogue beforehand that literally hints that Zanka's goal of becoming stronger is a facade #gachiakuta #zanka nijiku #enjin gachiakuta #zanjin meta #enjin #enzn #enzan #zanjin

funny how the age gap argument against zanjin/enzn is literally a plot point in canon

enjin not being an easily accessible goal greatly holds zanka back from quickly turning the whole situation into a dangerous mess leading to the well again and instead forces zanka to hide his real face (again) and carefully play the long run(again) like we've seen in ch 84 him answering the question about helping rudo to connect with others himself then leaving the room after enjin fell asleep there to go advice the kid right away although enjin never expected or asked to do it NOW when injured zanka was still not allowed to get out of bed

be it the golden throne or the golden haired man's mind zanka and only zanka should be on it i guess

#a character that created a self sabotaging plan and ended up harming himself in the backstory is doing the same thing again??#because the root issue was never resolved???#that's crazy #just to be on the same page i hope we all here understand that zanka's canon relationship with enjin is a direct parallel of his backstory #and his “relationships” with ex-students #and teacher #zanjin #zanjin meta #gachiakuta #enzn #gachiakuta zanka #gachiakuta enjin #enzan #zanka nijiku #zanka × enjin

enjin was fr trying to think of ways to annoy zanka here and out of all things decided to call them both brothers and remind of their age difference like ok whats wrong with you

#and this is definitely not the first time he does that #take a hint or smth omg #enzn #zanjin meta #zanjin #zanka nijiku #enjin #gachiakuta manga #gachiakuta

zanka's negative tendency to disappear in the eyes of people he used to gain validation from after the slightest mistake ruins his image of the best × enjin's negative experience of having his most important connection suddenly disappear and leave a sense of debt that doesn't allow him to lose anyone like that again = reverse cursed technique Never Kill Yourself

#perfectly balanced codependency♥️#gachiakuta #enzan #zanjin meta #enzn #zanjin #zanka nijiku #gachiakuta enjin