Catalyst
Superstition says that bad things come in threes, that the world brings three terrible knocks to your door and gives you no other choice then to open it. Perhaps, the world is just cold, the orchestra of tragedy never ceasing its siren song. Perhaps, instead, bad things come in storms. Booming thunder, wild winds and deadly lightning. A trifecta of true chaos…
Nowhere did this chaos of life and tragedy take more hold than within Inethreis’ mind, brewing and pounding in his head like the swing of an all mighty hammer. The moment he had stumbled in his doorway from the streets of Silvermoon, it all threatened to come crashing down over his head all over again, like it had so often these past few wretched weeks. He gave no greeting, no call into the dimly lit halls to his friends and family. Instead, he made for the stairs,nearly falling up them a few different times with heavy handed and sloppy steps. He did not care who heard him, he did not care who he woke, he only cared about getting there. Tears bit at his eyes like rabid dogs at his heels as he so desperately tried to outrun them, leaving his heart beating in his ears like a drum. Every single part of his body screamed, his mind falling to pieces from the inside out, shoving the doors to the back balconies wide open, before stepping out into the night and pouring rain.
His head fell back on his shoulders, his eyes squeezing themselves shut. Hard rain beat down on him, mixing with his tears as they streamed down his face in quick succession of one another. The downpour was soaking him nearly to the bone, and he saw fit to let it. Somewhere in his soul he wished it would melt his wretched body to nothing, send whatever was left of him away with the wind. But with no such luck, he opted for something different. With a deep breath in, the man let out an ungodly scream, the sound echoing off rooftops and out over the city streets. Barely even moments after he let loose another wail, his eyes shut tighter as the sound he made rung in his own ears like a bell. He found himself screaming into the night until his throat burned and he tasted blood, his whole body shaking with the violent outbursts.
Somewhere behind him he could almost feel the whole house stirring, people waking from sleep and wondering just what the fuck was going on outside. But in the moment he found he didn’t even care. Slowly he came to his knees on the stone below him, too hoarse to scream more, and just cried. The sounds were rasped and painful, leaving his throat raw and forcing him to gag. Inethreis brought himself lower to the ground, hunched over into the puddling water. By now he was not sure if the shaking was from the ice cold rain soaking into his skin, or the sheer gravity of emotion that gripped his body. But behind him, he heard the faint shifting of feet along the stone. Someone had come to check on him.
“Inethreis...it is well past midnight, come on, please get up off the floor young man. You are going to catch some kind of cold out here” Alsunir’s voice rang out behind him, speaking over the pounding of the rain on stone.
The sound of his uncle speaking in his ears forced him still for a moment, the sobs that barreled out of him catching in his throat. It made him feel sick to be seen this way, in a heap on the ground all over again. He could not even remember how many times this had been the case lately. Words would not even form, but Alsunir did not seem to need them instead, he had moved across the balcony to his nephew, the black umbrella he carried shielding away the rain and all else. Slowly, Reyes found himself lifted into the old Farstrider’s side, moved pace by pace into the massive house.
“Stay with me alright? Just keep your feet on the ground, one step at a time. We will get you warmed up and after we can talk about this…” The lord spoke in a coo, not seeming to care that the side of his nightgown was being soaked.
Still too shocked to form any coherent syllables, Inethreis opted simply to nod, biting back on another sniffle.
Moving down the great halls brought them all the way to the Library, the enormous double doors one of the many places in the home Inethreis had yet to enter. Though now, in the state of turmoil he existed in he did not have the mind to care. Instead he was leaned against the lord of the house, trying to focus on not falling flat on his face. But soon he found himself released of that burden, embraced by the plush surface of the couch Alsunir had settled him onto as gently as he could manage. Inethreis was barely processing things around the room, not the wall to floor bookcases, not the desk tucked toward the back walls, not even his Uncle’s scurrying footsteps as he moved in and out of the room to help him settle in. All of it was an empty blur of color, shapes in the candle light. His body fell weightless and cold against the cushions below him, sinking into them entirely.
He could not tell if he had fallen asleep or if he just really was finally losing it for good, moments of that night flashing through his vision. Barren winter snow stained red, the all consuming stench of death in the air, teeth and fangs as they closed around his shoulder like a vice. But more haunting then all of it was her...laying there still and unmoving. Those blank eyes only staring, never blinking and never looking away from him, reminding him that her death was his fault. All of this was his fault, his worgenism, his mother’s death, and now his mother’s eternal torment in The Maw. The catalyst to all of this was his neglect, his inattentiveness to her needs and care. He should have been at her side...and gods above did he regret it now, those horrible dead eyes haunting him like a ghost...burned in the forefront.
Now he could not even imagine where she was, what was happening to the woman who had dedicated her whole life to him. She was beyond him...beyond this world or even this realm. Sucked down into a place of empty wasteland and torment, and he had put her there.
“Let us get you out of some of these leathers Inethreis, come on my son, the fire is warm and these are waterlogging you...stay with me for just a moment okay.”
Inethreis found himself pulled back from the sheer darkness of his mind, his head snapping down to find Alsunir’s hand on his and the man’s voice in his ears again. Meeting that kind green gaze almost brought him to tears again, quickly looking away as he offered the man a muted nod. Slowly, he sat himself up from the loveseat, feeling Alsunir lightly squeeze his hand in reassurance before letting go...and for the moment it seemed to keep him grounded. The warmth of the fire filled him as he finally got a good look at the hearth in front of him, slowly starting the process of stripping away his current clothing. Just beside him on the floor, he found a few things folded up for him...a robe, a towel, and a blanket. Even in this state, the gesture left him blinking with surprise. He had entirely lost track of where his uncle was in the room's vastness, but for right now, he seemed to have privacy beside the fire.
When he finally was stripped down to pale skin, he reached for the towel to dry himself, happy for the distraction of silent self care and the crackling of the warm fire. He felt his body on a razors edge between collapsing again, driving him that much closer to the heat in hopes that it might just burn away all his pain for once. The bite of cold was one thing off his mind for now, the robe and blanket picked up from the floor with haste. First the robe, cinched in tight at the waist and leaving the black linen to flow with his body, and then the blanket almost immediately overtop and pulled as lithe as he could manage. His body finally came to a stop for the first time in minutes, shaking legs bringing him back down to settle on the loveseat. Almost instantly he felt that clarity slipping, but before he could be consumed all over again Alsunir had moved from the window to sit with him. One of the older man’s pale hands came to rest lightly on Inethreis’ shoulder, his voice quiet as he began to speak.
“I know you might not be able to talk right now, and trust me, that is okay my son. I do not expect you to.” Alsunir gave a deep sigh before continuing. “But, I have been where you are now when I lost my son, when I lost my family. I know about The Maw, you do not need to tell me that. But I promise you, I will get you everything you need to get her out of there safely.”
Inethreis found his violet eyes going wide, choking on a sob somewhere between a thank you and incoherent sound. At his shoulder he felt a squeeze before he finally collapsed into the man’s fatherly arms, feeling them close right around him as he sobbed. But rather than chide him, Alsunir simply swayed and continued speaking.
“It will take some time of course, but not more then a week to get ready. For right now though, I think you need to focus on basics my son. Sleeping, eating, hygiene, and company. I am so proud of you and how you fight, finding your way to tackle unimaginable fears, even the way you found help for your shifting. Your lovers are likely worried sick in their bed for you...people care about you little one. I know I am neither of your parents, but if you are living under my roof you are family. It will be okay and we will get you through this together…”
His words trailed off in Inethreis’ ears, but their meaning still resonated through him, their meaning still reaching well into his core. Wrapped up like this he felt safety and warmth he had never truly known, the love of a father and the soft hand of comfort. It eased him like nothing ever had, even as he sobbed and rasped against him. For once the pain felt ephemeral, he felt as though he could breath...that things might just be okay. Alsunir did not speak, did not shove him away, Instead he felt a hand rise into his hair, fingers easing through the raven locks as he rocked inethreis as one might a child. Inethreis found himself losing track of time, not knowing how long he sat there crying or how long Alsunir rocked him, and he also found that he did not care. Soon, he felt his eyes closing and it left him with only one thought in all the world…
He was loved, and it would all be okay.
( Mentions for: @lifeofaranger and @varment-wra )