[ teen!au meme with @zcldvs. sorry i had to make a response for this because mercy is fabulous at making me feel feelings. ]
her lips felt as sweet as syrup, like the ones that get gummy and sticky under the hot summers sun, against her lips. cassie knew she was nothing more than a tired bug trapped in a honey pot. at every turn, on every curve on her body, cassie found herself running right back into her. even if it started with growing waves of anger and gushing blood on her knuckles, even if she feels like she's had the wind knocked out of her by her fucked up life, she somehow still ends up right there in the same hopeless spot.
same words. same charms. same girl.
the feeling she gets being around zelda was something she couldn't put words to. it was like she was merely a sketch etched with graphite a little too hard on a piece of paper, and an eraser came and tried to get rub out but left her as nothing more than a dark smear across the canvas. it didn’t feel right nor like her, and she can’t figure out what is anymore. the bullies in the schoolyard, the borderline abusive foster families, and the snide therapists all seem to stop mattering when it came down to her and her girlfriend.
cassie decided that ‘girlfriend’ was a weird label to give themselves. they hadn’t decided that they were girlfriends, they just were. and every word that leaves cassie hanging, as if it were the thread that stood between safety and falling off a cliff, were words she believes she could never be deaf to. zelda was gorgeous; the giggle bubbling out of her served to feed that festering insecurity within cassie, where she wonders if this is the only way to get the validation she craved, but denied lusting over.
air escapes her parted lips after that chaste peck, and she's almost giddy with the fact that for those short seconds of intimacy, they were also short seconds where the wave of resentment and hurt melted away. there’s defeat in the way cassie averts her gaze, emerald eyes grazing over the purple and blue over her human knuckles, and the perfect unbroken skin of those that were crafted for her.
she wants to be good. she wants to make her parents proud. she wants to do all those things but they were ripped away from her in an instant that no one asked for but bigots and assholes who can now do no more damage to her than raise the rage within her body. the heat rises again. she wants to be good. the guilt fighting against her wants her to be good. she wishes she didnt have these feelings. she wants to be as unfeeling as the other half of her body. she doesnt want to feel anymore. her gaze flickers back up to zelda.
perfect porcelain skin that hid danger within each crevice, cassie couldnt deny that it excited her. everything was electric. young, dumb, and wrapped around each others fingers, she decides that it isn't love that exists here. its something wicked, wicked enough to bring the prideful like them both to their knees. it's only a matter of who keels over first. so cassie asks herself, why be good, when the world is just as bad as zelda wants her to be? she kisses her teeth, knowing full well that she'd break them before she breaks her pride, and if being wicked means continuing to play this game --
"what do you want, babe?”
electric green meets dark chocolate hues. cassie accepts the challenge with a switchblade smile. anything to stay in the devil’s roulette that has both their hearts on wager.