#ze's crazy posts

[sadiiomane10]

Liverpool FC as Micheal Scott

i got bored, its not my fault off season exists, this is a joke, take as u will

kloppo when his squad does absolutely aNY T H I N G 

Trent alexander arnold when arguing his case within the squad 

gini wijnaldum under EVERY O N E’S pics 

robert firmino’s perfect ass self

alisson when making any save ever

oxo bringing the entertainment to all rooms along w his bomb af good looks 

mohamed salah literally cus hes mohamed salah

sadio mane bringing all his sauce and flair 

virgil van dijk tryna control his backline 

dejan lovren everytime hes on the pitch

jordan henderson on matchday when his team is being embarrassing 

bobby and supermane copying each others celebrations

james milner, w a glass of ribena, to the entire squad 

divock origi coming out of the shadows to prove to the world that hes a badbitch

[sadiiomane10]

when you try your best but dont succeed..... just buy a bottle of dye and hope for the best

or a footballers guide on how to deal w loss or a footballers guide on how to deal w depression when ur team loses basically anything 

current trends; 2016-17; blonde hair 2018; silver hair 

leo messi; lost the copa final went blonde, trend setter tbh, the Depression Hair  Dye started w messi losing, it was a wild ride 

paulo dybala; eliminated from the world cup; went grey, argentina depressed him sm that he aged 98 yrs

roberto firmino;  eliminated from the world cup; went grey, dude decided to bring the silverware back himself, who can blame him 

mats hummels; lost a bet; went blonde, it was bad, it should never happen again, stick to spilling coffee my dude 

robert lewandowski; went grey, until it faded to a weird ass blonde, idk why he did it but the 2nd he got rid of it he scored a header, coincidence??? i think not,  the hair was cursed 

rafinha and neymar; idek why this happened, they won the olympics and lost their minds but i think we all agree that it shouldnt have happened, yh rafa thats all our expression tbh 

james rodriguez; idk why this happened either, i think he was just following the trend but im literally his expression

footballers and hair dye has to be the funniest combination and a really weird coping mechanism but we have to agree its terrible and hilarious 

[sadiiomane10]

Liverpool FC as Cakes part 1

#thecakeseries in honour of my genius and wonderful anon who deserves the world, all credit goes to them bc they literally came up with all of this and they are amazing, thanks for talking to me and being the founder of this amazing thing yall better appreciate this post for them istg 

disclaimer ive tasted like none of these cake i dunno what the fuck im talking about, dont take it serious, its not meant to be 

aight so kloppo is banoffee 

the banana fits w his bvb side 

and the toffee is obvs lfc cus we get ourselves stuck in all sorts of dumb situations

im lookin at u defence 

plus it matches his hair colour

emre can is toffeeee

“cus we all wanna get stuck him”- ancient proverb by anon the literal genius 

thats it, thats the main reason

hes sweet and delicious as hell, i mean i dont actually kno but he looks it

who doesnt want a piece of emre can is the real question here 

the cake is tan, he is tan, thicccc afff

EMRE CAN IS JUST A WALKING TOFFEE CAKE YALL

Sadio Mane as Black Forest 

do u literally see any difference??? no, me either

both badass and sweet as hell

literally no one can resist 

supermane is literally the cherry on top of this team and its so good

Ben as Chocolate Cupcake 

tiny and smol, so good and hard to resist 

full of all the good stuff

both actual babies too good for this world, too pure, 

seeing ben play is like enjoying a chocolate cupcake its totally fitting 

both babiessss just like a cupcake to an actual cake, and ben woodburn in the senior team

NATHANIEL CLYNE IS RAINBOW CAKE 

THIS ONE IS MY FAVE GOODBYE

cus he my life and a sunshine and the brightest thing and he needs all the love

AND HES UNDERAPPRECIATED prolly like rainbow cake 

rainbows are full of love, and im full of love for him, and he is perfection, 

he needs more love

James Milner as Red Velvet (this all started cus of james milner, it is entirely his fault)

i literally see no difference between him and the cake 

he was born to play in red, he looks the best in this colour

 i find red velvet a lil bland which totes fits w the ‘boring james milner’ persona

plus some people love him some people dont, totally like red velvet

both very pretty to look at 

Trent is Charlotte Cake 

because HE IS TOO IS SMALL AND FILLED WITH AMAZING THINGS (im talking about talent) 

He is also v pretty like the cake 

if anyone deserves a good cake its trent, cus hes the best bean and we all love him 

Momo as Ginger Spice

have u seen him play

this dude got something in his locker bruh and its full of spice and magic

i would die for this man, look at him hes an actual angel on earth, 

the icing represents his beard, 

ginger cake is warm and fluffy and good just like him, 

Studge as Chocolate 

SWEET AS HELL AND NAUGHTY AS SHIT

studge is cheeky just like when u eat chocolate cake and make sure no one sees

uve heard of cheeky nandos w the boys,now get ready for cheeky chocolate cake and a slice of daniel sturridge ;)

literally no one can be chocolate cake cus its studge and no matter what we will always love him 

Couti is Chocolate Mousse (this happened before he fucked us over)

 bc he’s tiny, delicious and makes everyone happy, 

also high key magical and fluffy

 smol but magical and everyones guilty pleasure,

 everyone wants a piece of couti (ykno back before he stabbed us in the heart and make us all sick,

 we had to much chocolate mousse and this is our punishment 

good enough that to give us a heart attack 

loris karius as angel cake 

hes an actually looks like a fucking angel goodbye

like bobby, why isnt bobby angel cake idk

is angel cake as pretty as loris??? no it isnt

i would chose to eat loris over angel cake anyday who said that not me

im to distracted by that picture to even write a description bye

adz is strawberry

A TINY SMOL FLUFFBALL

PRETTY AS HELL

SOOOO GOOD

like we often forget about stawberry cake but when we have it we love it

a bit like adz not playing and then surprising us w his cruyff turns again and his quick feet

if lallama was a fruit he would literally be a stawberry, so smollll

s/o to my anon, they came up w literally all the cakes, give them all the love

link to part 2 

[sadiiomane10]

Liverpool FC as Cakes Part 2

#thecakeseries also in honour of my anon, i have too much love for them

disclaimer ive tasted like none of these cake i dunno what the fuck im talking about, dont take it serious, its not meant to be 

Buvac is Fruitcake

traditional 

old but gold

needed in life to survive and appreciate all good things 

idk if fruit cake is needed to survive but zeljko defo is 

RARE PICTURE OF ZELJKO SMILING, REBLOG TO SAVE LIVES AND HAVE A LIFETIME OF HAPPINESS 

i love zeljko

Bobby as Baklava 

SWEET AS HELLLLLLL is baklava sweet??? ive never eaten it

weirdly shaped like all those dumb haircuts bobby seems to get 

apparently baklava in english means diamond and bobby is the brightest diamond in the world

baklava is a diamond, bobby is the shiniest diamond, its perfect 

Joe Gomez tiny prince charming as Pancakes 

wHO CAN RESIST PANCAKESSS??? 

WHO CAN RESIST JOE GOMEZ 

TINY AND CUTE AND SMOL LIKE PANCAKES 

who wants to pour syrup on jomez???? i do

tiny prince and pancakes, life is great 

Dejan as Cremeschnitte

this cake originated in croatia

if it was gonna be anyone it has be dejan

totally fitting

very thicccc

made w custard, for that time he beat the bees 

Marko as Ice Cream cake

literally who else but my tin y smol son as the cake everyone is bound to love 

full of all the good stuff just like marko

crazy and messy and too good 

prolly overlooked 

ice cream cake is for kids, and marko is a child, its totally fitting 

Gini as Raspberry 

sweet and good

but not when he scores on u, thats the sting of raspberries 

actual cinammon rolllllllllll, i mean raspberry cake 

the brightest star in the universe and v beautiful 

Alby as Carrot Cake

i mean that hair come on

the cake and his hair are practically the same colour

xabi alonso’s son, is of course carrot cake 

cant shake the ginger hair and beard 

hendo as lemon and coconut cake 

tough on the outside, dont mess w a cocunut cake @diego costa he’ll take u down bruh 

cocunut is bit of a rough texture???? idk what im saying at this point ive lost my mind 

sweet as hell on the inside 

yellow for sUNSHINEEEEEE

Migs as a Creme Puff

this is so funny i canttt

that kit and the puff, like theres no difference 

sometimes migs gets so angry at his defence that he too burts like a creme puff

idk if he has cream pouring outta him and tbh idont wanna kno goodbyee

someone shoot me in the face 

Dom as  Merveilleux

 sprinklessssssssss

sprinkles are so good and so is GOAT AND WORLD CUP WINNER DOM

chocolate goodness which we all wanna eat *wink wink*

he is also bursting w cream

i could get down w that

imma stop now

this post is not going where i wanted it too i hate myself  

Joel as Pound Cake

i mean ididnt even kno that was a thing

pretty sure joel feels like pounding a few people in the head when hes defending 

yhh the word pound is distracting me imma move on now 

the entire team is hazelNUT cake

they all nutworthy goodbye 

they are all beautiful and perfect 

and i would die for them all 

i love them all too much

the team is just hazelNUT bruh

lets be real i just did this to make a hazelNUT joke :DDDD

and that my guys is the end of thecakeseries, hope u enjoyed it, 

link to part 1 

[sadiiomane10]

Jurgen Klopp and his 20+sons prt1

ok so i saw this being done for other teams and i thought oh hey dork fc needs one of those thus this happened, inspo taken from those posts 

jurgen klopp aka kloppo- manager dad to all the lads at lfc 

cuddler

angry bean

everyones fave

the meaning of passionate

loves his sons more than life

celebrates like a mad man

everyone wants him to be there manager tbh, u cant have him hes ours

will defend these boys better than they can defend 

Jordan Henderson aka hendo

captain

ANGRY BEAN, 

will fight u and win

a good man 

liverpool is his fave city and his face was priceless when he said it, fans died 

bosses the midfield like he invented the midfield 

captain dork, he takes after stevie, its a thing 

james milner aka the purest man alive

vice captain 

can play everywhere; has played everywhere

got hate but is our best player

underappreciated

scored from on his ass one time, it was glorious 

a smol

adam lallana, aka llama

resident fluff ball

award winning sarcastic clapper

need ripped jeans??? call adam 

quick feet lallana

celebrates by clinging to u, aka koala adz 

kloppo’s fave son and neighbour 

Philippe Coutinho aka lil magician

EVERYONE LOVES HIM

E V ER Y ON E 

will score worldies and celebrate like theres no tomorrow

hes a smol w a child

P U R E , 

not pure on the pitch tho he will end u before u can even blink 

samba dancer

sadio mane aka supermane

u think ur fave is good till u see mane and u realise they dont even compare :DDD

will destroy ur team

literal superman

one time we saw him cry and our hearts still arent healed

will save u and ur dumb ass team 

robeto firmino aka bobby or angel :)

had a magical ponytail that had scoring powers which he cut off  

he then lost those scoring powers (im lying he still has them)

will defend better than ur fave defender

blinding white teeth

is still a child w children

loves to party, all the time

samba dancer 2.0

Georginio Wijnaldum aka the brightest star in the universe 

blinding smile, its so beautiful

bosses midfield

will save our ass

hes so pure and sweet

sang 3 lil birds w a child, it was great

neighbours w klavan, gets in trouble for playing loud music

steven gerrard aka captain fantastic

in my head he isnt retired 

what even is retirement

is prolly kloppo’s fave

dad to the u18′s

we all still cry over him

shush he still counts ok

daniel sturridge aka dancing queen

dance dance dance all the time

u think u kno cool but ull never reach studge’s level of cool

won the hip hop battle twice , is v proud of it 

a good man ok

deserves more 

and by more i mean no fucking injuries

lucas leiva aka sunshine leiva

the epitome of sunshine

UNLUCKEEEEEEEEE

been here forever

had a party for it

tried to score v everton and made kloppo laugh 

he finally scored after 6789 years and it was GREATTTTT, highlight of the season tbh

dad to the brazillians and the spanish puppy

joe gomez aka jomez or the tiny prince 

when he came here he was so good

then he got hurt smh, 

a puppy

did the hiphop battle w studge, came 2nd, 

EMINEM IS GINGERRRRRR, WHEN WAS EMINEM GINGER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

an actual baby 

link to part 2 

[sadiiomane10]

Jurgen Klopp and his 20+ sons prt2

emre can aka the greatest human being ever born

model??? footballer??? both??? both is good

gets stick, comes thru w the best goal uve ever seen

invented good hair and looks

will fight you

one time he scored a overhead bicycle kick and its now been renamed TheEmreCAN

benzema tried it, he couldnt 

kloppo loves all his sons equally but he loves emre can more, its tru

loris karius aka prince charming

goalkeeper, model, he can do it all

social media hoe

wore socks w slippers one time, i disowned him

hes a good man, likes to sing and dance

one time he fell off an uberboard…….

was bleach blonde for a while

parties in ibiza like he owns ibiza 

dejan lovren aka he doesnt have a nickname the fuck (should be called the beeslayer cus ykno winkwink)

scored THAT goal v bvb,

will forever be a legend for it

is a big teddy bear  

a jokester, laughs alot

the only person to touch emres hair and not die - a miracle 

embarrasing dad to marko grujic

amazing dad to his real kids

nathaniel clyne, aka my underappreciated fave

U N D E R A P P R E C I A T E D 

underappreciated

underappreciated 

needs more love and appreciation

did the hip hop battle w studge, lost

appreciate hiiiiiimmmmmm!!!!!

will play every game, gets no love

simon mignolet aka saint simon

got stick, bossed goalkeeping and shut them up

angry bean

shot stopper

his defence lets him down, saves our damn ass

a pure 

opened a coffe shop in belgium; 

prolly to deal w the stress of his defence letting him down

hence the reason he needs free coffee all the time, i dont blame him

joel matip, aka he also doesnt have a nickname smh (it should will save lfc’s dumb ass even when they dont deserve it)

he was free, 

we got our best defender for free, its a dream

we’re so lucky to have him

made defending his bitch

he scored one time it was emotional

he got injured one other time, our whole team fell apart and conceded goals like they live for it

also a good man

shamal george aka smolkeeper

came on as a striker in preseason, it was so great

dont be fooled by his nickname hes so tollll, toller than kloppo

so in love w his gf, im jealous 

posted that ovie meme

got injured, i cried 

future best goalkeeper in the world, i dont make the rules its tru

ben woodburn aka woody

everyones fave child

made us all fall in love w him in preseason

made his debut and  then scored against leeds, everyone cried

mini stevie??? prolly 

kloppo will protect him to death, no media hounds are getting near him

trents best friend 

Trent Alexander-Arnold aka just trent aka utd are still prolly in his pocket

the other child we are all overly emotional over

started the utd game 

made utd his bitch

seriously he was so boss, it was unbelivable 

put that tounge away child

ben’s best friend, aka stuck to each other level of friendship

baby defender bossing defending, cries,

divock origi aka belgium babe

also scored v bvb

saved us alot in the 15/16 season then he got hurt 

scored a wonder goal v bournemoth

it was seriously so good, i cant even describe it 

did so much weight training he went up a shirt size-hulk is that you??? :DD

a child

danny ings, aka could be the best striker we’ve ever had if he didnt get hurt all the damn time 

the pic above is an accurate representation of his past two years 

got injured once, came back, got injured again

spends time w his dog and gf, 

social media hoe 2.0

scored v everton which makes him a tru red

never not injured

marko grujic aka my son

a tol smol; toller than kloppo

celebrated like stevie in preseason; made us all so freaking emotional

dejan’s embarrassed son

stays home listening to Chantaje

snapchats music all the time

lives in a fancy ass apartment but is forever in his car

alberto moreno aka spanish puppy

is a defender, is benched for a midfielder

grew a ponytail ditched it to go bleach blonde, 

member of the brazillian squad

also too young to have a child

i dont think anyone ever knows what he’s saying they just go w it

hyperactive child 

link to part 1 

[sadiiomane10]

Demre part 2- basically more of why we should stop sleeping on emre x dejan

cus the first one has turned into a monster, and there’s still loads of quality content i need to show y’all. Get ready cus there is an overuse of the word bro but i regret nothing OK NO-t H I N G 

link to part 1  u should check it out just cus theres sm quality demre on there its unreal ;)

Lets get started Ok so

CAR DATES?!?!?!?! CAR DATES???? MOTHER FRICKING CAR DATES!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN WILL UR FAVE , GET THOSE HAND CRAFTED FACES AWAY FROM ME, like look at me and my bro we go on car dates at night under the starlight, THE FRICKING STARLIGHT, only the best for my bro, ill give u the whole world bro, 

 this ship aint real and its more existent than my entire lovelife bye 

Do we even have to talk about this???? No, ok good, bc its just both of them being like my bro is hotter than urs, too each other, i cant talk about this BYE 

someone; name one moment that changed u forever 

me sitting in a rocking chair, blunt in hand; it was on a Tuesday Morning whilst watching Liverpool FC’s Tunnel Cam. When at preciously minute 5;12 This Happened. 

me;* looking into the distance * I have never been the same since.

UM JUST STOP OK ITS GETTING RIDICULOUS, leave me alone,

 a close up of the previous pic cus they look like angels,

stop pointing at each other we get it ok u love him, u love him and hes ur best mate, we get it now stop, gosh guys, we know ok we know u love each other, stop shoving it in our faces, we GET IT 

this is just too angelic to leave out, plus bonus phil so yall cant complain its a rule

plus these hoes out here celebrating goals together,  better put ur arm round his neck, tell the world ur bro scored, let them all know, let them knowwwww, let them seeee

bros who score together stay together *wink wink nudge nudge*  why am i hoe idk

Cash me in the Air Bro, how bou dat,- did i include this picture to say that horrible line????? yes sir i did, feel free to block me rn 

THIS HAPPENED , DO I HAVE A HEARTBEAT???? NO SIR I DO NOT 

THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF 

‘bro hold this

bro this is ur hand

bro ikno 

like u cant convince me other wise

hold his hand and never let go, the world might forget that u love him, and that is illegal

these two are the personification of all those bro posts, u know I’m right,  gosh i dont even have words, feel free to come and scream at me 

also im writing this from beyond the grave, good fucking bye , ghosts are real, i am blessed, see ya 

((all gifs used are NOT mine credit to all owners, i dont take any claim for them))