#zeetrowsentry

[zeetrowsane]

So it has been quite a while since being in such moments of sharing and letting go in one of my personal places. I have been a little pre-occupied and a couple of failed attempts. ANYWAY ZeeTrow is BEYOND GLAD to be back in the zone and sharing once again MAD LOVE FOR EVERYBODY

[zeetrowsane]

Hit by a moment when one realizes how far they have actually come and how much they they have overcome in their short lived life. I lay awake one night thinking back on my life and all that it has entailed. Thought of my early independence and how it has contributed so much in me becoming the young lady that i am today and growing stronger as each day comes. How i have gone through 18 years of living without those words of love and comfort every night or day. How sometimes i could just lie in bed or sit in the bath with tears in my eyes,heavy air in my heart and hard rocks in my mind. How everything just makes me realise that i am better,wiser and stronger than i actually take myself to be AND this stage of 'breakdowns' and mixed feelings can't do anymore harm and i know better than to let them do any more damage to my fragile heart and mind, Sometimes i wonder though if whether there's just that thing waiting to snatch my happiness and gained teachings and experiences away from me, whether or not i'll be able to stop it when it does appear to.. Its these type of emotional containments that actually hurt more than any physical scar. That can't be healed with an antiseptic or plaster. The emotional containments that grow inside of you, build up to something so big that even time does not seem to be enough for healing. The emotional containments that let you put on a huge smile on your face so the world smiles and doesn't feel the pain,because from that at least there is some kind of pleasure. These emotional containments that build up to confuse and question you of who you really are and make you wish that you could sometimes be like glass 'clear,strong' and even when it breaks there's still hope of renewing and coming together again. Make you believe in people so much that you let them be,even when they hurt you there's just always enough room for forgiveness and moving forward. I've had the recent realisation of the might that words have, Might that shatters the mind,body and soul and create an ocean of tears on ones pillow.. .......................this is not the end yet............................