All She Is
ZoNami Week – Day 04: Scar // First Meeting After 3D2Y
Pairing: Zoro x Nami
Rating: T (self-harm flashback from Arlong Park)
Summary: In the early quiet of the morning, Zoro is left alone with his thoughts and the opportunity to observe Nami in all of her natural glory.
Word Count: 2,615 words
PLEASE NOTE: I listened to a piano and cello cover of “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri while writing this, and it was absolutely enchanting. Please consider looking for it on YT to really follow along with Zoro’s sentiments in the story. Thank you.
The sun was always blinding when he awoke in the Crow’s Nest, even when he was pressed against Nami’s body, sprawled out on the floor. The sheets they had collected to create the illusion of a proper bed was in complete disarray, never mind her hair or the thoughts in his head as reality greeted him when he opened his eye. It wasn’t enough that her sweet scent had permanently perfumed the air around him, nor was it enough that he held her around the waist and had her compressed to his body in the most comforting yet playfully territorial way; the bedding was a comfort that she required, when all he needed was her.
Accepting such a resounding truth had boggled him for so long now, but there was no denying it when he was allowed the peace of rising for the day with his lover still slumbering, unaware of his appreciation of her.
Feeling something for the navigator beyond mere friendship had been startling early on, and then suddenly, it wasn’t. Roronoa Zoro was not an entirely, externally emotional man, so when he realized that Nami – the woman he had called a witch, who he had cursed to hell more times than he could likely count – had managed to possess his hearts much more realistically than she had ever owned his nonexistent wallet, there was sure to be a shock to his system. Some sort of moment where he would berate himself, or her, or feel himself grow awkward around her in the hopes that no one noticed, especially not her.
No such moment ever occurred.
Instead, it felt effortless to allow himself to love her – that was the most surprising part. Nothing needed to change, even while it felt as though everything was meant to. Having her in his arms, for example, was definitely a new phenomenon that was gifted to him due to the budding romance they had only just begun. Truthfully, the acceptance of their feelings only allowed them to grow physically closer than ever before, expressing their adoration and belated passion for one another as if it had been inevitable all along.
That was why he found it much more enjoyable to sleep with her by his side suddenly. There were indeed times where they were separated from one another, given that he needed to train and she need to add to her collection of personalized maps. His urge to have her rest with him at the end of the day was his greatest indicator of affection and her willingness to join him was one of the many ways she surpassed him in expressing her love for him. In the quiet of the early morn, Zoro usually took his chance to shower her with secret acts that showcased his true feelings for her both in thanks and in good faith.
He truly enjoyed tugging her thin frame against his large body and measuring the difference based off of the width of his torso that was left cold where her warm flesh could not cover it. His nose would bury itself into her tresses and the silken texture was always so much more comfortable than the pillow she had him use. However, his most intimate act was the lazy yet prominent kisses he would drape her skin with, from her ear to her shoulder. He always found it to be a challenge to keep his path straight – like a clean slice, almost – while adorning the column of her neck, and that somehow amplified his incentive. They weren’t timed in any fashion; Zoro simply took pleasure in each display as he offered it to her unconscious form.
Today, though, he found something to distract him from his newly implemented ritual.
As his lips came to rest on Nami’s left shoulder, he couldn’t help but notice the signature tattoo that rested beneath his lips. His steely eye scanned the curvaceous design, studying it much more diligently than he ever had before. He recognized the tangerine-like shape at the very tip of her interpretative windmill as a signature of hers – never again, since the day he met her, would he be able to even think of a mikan and not imagine her face. A tattoo was just as permanent as the scars he wore all over his body, and it was most appropriate that she had erased the heinous symbol that marred her skin beforehand.
The scar along the back of her arm was the only physical tie to that horrific time in her life now, as even the villagers of Cocoyashi had moved on from the days of Arlong’s rule. Indeed, the jagged, violent-looking skin that had been the target of her dagger that fateful day when the fishman’s reign had finally fallen had never been scrutinized by him either. The realization that he never saw her would up close prior to this very instant felt wrong, however, he could not think of a time in which he paid it more attention. So, with that in mind, his hand that was resting over her forearm began to stroke it gently while he stared at the raised mess of flesh before him.
It was so very unceremonious, not at all as clean as his trail of kisses had been. He could easily recall the moment he had seen her fall to her knees after the villagers had left her behind in the middle of the village, stomping their way to Arlong Park. Zoro remembered it vividly – the shaking, the way she reached for that dagger and in the blink of an eye, it was in her arm. The way she had screamed that man’s name was haunting, so very chilling that it had nearly frightened him with how much hatred and rage she had forced into her voice. Then, she had pulled it out and thrusted it back in. The rawness that was her response to the overwhelming defeat she endured in that moment had been anything but typical of the behaviour she had demonstrated towards them during their visit to her hometown. It had been so eye-opening into the person that Nami truly was: he had never admired her more than he had in that moment.
The moment when she stabbed herself eight times when she had finally fallen apart.
His brows furrowed as he understood just how easily his reflection of her scar had stolen away some of the gentle majesty of his early morning rise. It had been eight times that she had impaled her arm, and it was eight times she screamed his name for whom she had assumed to be no one but her to hear. In the midst of all of her animosity were the grunts of pain she had forced upon herself, but nothing could stop her during her craze except for their captain; only his staying power could compel her to drop her weapon of choice, as well as accept their assistance without the crew even needing to offer.
Those feelings that had inspired her hand to strike were visible in her scar, Zoro believed. Not even the permanent etchings around his ankles – from the time he had been willing to cut off his own feet if it meant setting himself free – looked as inelegant as her self-infliction. There were sharp lines shooting in every direction, the mark running quite long on her back. Out of curiosity did he release her waist for a moment or so in order to measure it against the length of his hand: from his wrist to his pinky finger, that it’s unofficial sizing. Having the opportunity to pay attention to it now, the swordsman was silently experience the sensation of being awe-stricken by the woman in his arms.
Of all of the people who now occupied positions in the Mugiwara crew, Zoro was the greatest expert on what it felt like to be cut by a blade. Even while he could not verify the sharpness of the dagger she had used, the sheer depth she must have reached when the blade disappeared into the muscles in her arm – the hilt having hit the distressed skin around the wound she had given herself – was the most explicit testimony to the pain she had been harbouring for so long…
And to think he nearly charged at her with his Wadou drawn.
Grimacing, the first mate felt so foolish now, after two years, to admit that in his haste he had nearly believed Johnny’s words and…who knows what he would have done to Nami if that shitty cook didn’t stop him. He had not been blinded by his concern for his friend, no. The interactions that the two of them had shared during their adventure on that island in particular had been such a whirlwind of experiences.
He had arrived there hating her while carrying orders to retrieve her.
He had believed for but a moment that she was genuinely a horrible person, a pirate worse than he’d ever seen.
He had realized that she’d nearly fooled him and leapt into the pool while bounded by ties in order to show her just how strongly he knew that she was better than what she was pretending to be.
He had nearly taken back his good faith when she punched him in his injured gut and sent him to prison.
He had given up trying to understand her when she freed him from his cell and returned the Wadou to him.
Encountering her on the path back to Cocoyashi Village succeeding Johnny’s claim that she murdered Usopp was simply the final straw in his otherwise confusing day. Or rather, it was the last instance of her bewildering him personally, as the sight of her with that dagger in her hand had rattled his bones. For someone such as he who had never even considered self-harm in all of his life, it nearly sickened him worse than watching a fallen foe bleed out before him. She had been officially freed of the title of an enemy by the kindness of her sister and her willingness to share Nami’s past with them…
Until it all boiled to the surface and she suffered through all that she had supressed with the help of a single blade.
“Mmm,” groaned the woman who occupied his thoughts as she suddenly began to rise. Zoro felt her shift in order to rub her eyes, just so she could look at him clearly when she turned herself into his body. With her tattooed shoulder now pressed against the very part of his chest that housed his heart, Nami smiled at him softly as she greeted him. “G’morning.”
“Morning.” Answered her lover in a meaningful tone. After having examined her trademark scars, he instantly took to taking in the sight of her face while she lavished in the feeling of a proper, fulfilling rest. Whenever she was calm and close like this, it was almost insane to imagine a time in which he hadn’t wanted her by his side as she was now.
“What’s wrong?” asked the navigator as she sifted through the apparent emotions that were visible in his expression, or so he assumed.
Feigning ignorance easily enough, Zoro brushed away her concern, “Nothing. I’m just waiting for you to give me my arm back.” To prove his point, he jostled the limb beneath her.
That Cheshire grin of hers still looked quite sleepy as she replied, “I’m not done with it yet, though.” “Hmph.” Was his solid reply.
“You sure you’re okay? You never let go of me until we’re ready to move, when we sleep together like this.” Never before had she been brave enough to state the romanticisms of their time as a couple, and hearing her speak of one of their routines warmed him deeply, more than he might be willing to ever articulate.
He leaned in though, and shared his happiness with her through a gentle peck on her temple. “You have the blanket to cover you, if I’m not.”
“If I wanted the blanket, I would have just taken it from you sometime during the night.”
“Then why do we even lay them out in the first place?”
“So that we can sleep naked without someone accidentally coming up here and seeing us.”
Zoro refrained from rolling his eyes at her whenever there weren’t people to witness his exhaustion of her antics and agree with him. Instead, he dropped his forehead against hers and stared down into her big, brown eyes. “I would hear them climbing the ladder long before they reached the hatch.” He explained with a drowsy yet firm-sounding voice.
Without hesitation did Nami reply, “And if Luffy happens to get up before us, and slingshot himself up here?” He barely had any time to consider how uncomfortable such a situation would be before his supposedly adoring lover began to laugh at his anxious expense. A heavy frown quickly took over his facial features, but those nimble hands of hers acted just as swiftly and drew him in for an insincerely apologetic kiss.
And as she her lips left his, Zoro truly observed the woman before him. Excusing their conversation, he openly took in the sight of Nami the navigator laying somewhat beneath him, showing him her most genuine grin. The vision before him clashed so harshly with the memories he had been experiencing just before she had finally awoken, and to think that the two women were one in the same person – the tattoo and scar confirming their identities – was astounding to his otherwise witless mind.
All he could comprehend then and there was that he was so very proud of the woman who was his lover, having reflected upon the journey that turned her into who she was today.
“You’re amazing.” Atypical of his usual behaviour, Zoro let the compliment escape his thought process and leave his mouth as he felt that she truly deserved his praise. She did not need it, oh no, regardless, it felt right that she know on occasion how he saw her: as the truly wonderful person that she was.
Sadly, she assumed that he was being sarcastic after the teasing way she had spoken to him; rolling her eyes at him, she decided to turn away from his hold and reach for her nightgown that was resting just out of reach next to their cluttered sheets. In doing so, she brought her left shoulder into his view again and it inspired him to make good on the promise of his words to her.
Zoro brought his lips down and kissed the middle of her self-inflicted scar.
Neither of them moved as the sun rose higher in the early morning sky, until his kiss caused an obvious shudder to travel along her skin. Slowly but surely did Nami return to previous pose of resting against his chest, eyes sparkling with curiosity as to the validity of his kindness and actions. Once more did he lean in so that he could kiss her, this time gracing her lips with a great deal more power behind them. He channeled every ounce of emotion that she had provided him with in the few minutes in which he had been awake, along with his gratitude for allowing him to be the one to appraise her so.
Zoro decided then, in that moment, that he would need to add that same spot along her scar to his morning ritual of kisses from that point onward, if it would instill in Nami just as much joy as it gave him to be the one lying next to her each and every day.
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((This one is romantic, and I really love that it’s Zoro who is being the romantic person in this scene. I think he could be really sweet and tender when the mood strikes him, and so that’s why I set this one up so much to be that sort of setting for his mind to wander. We never get to see Zoro’s reaction to what Nami did that day in the Arlong Arc, so I thought I would take this opportunity to try it out! Hope you enjoyed it, and hope to see you again tomorrow! ~Maiden))