oc brainworm rambles i Had To Get Out Of My Mind under the cut. they're Not Good or Worth Reading i can assure you but i need them OUT
god I'm rewatching Black Clover again for the trillionth time and I watched the episode where Mars and Fana reunite not too long ago and I cannot stop thinking about the way Aurora's heart burns watching it happen. She's like, so, so so happy for them, but at the same time, all she can think about is if she and Zora would ever get a chance like that.
She looks at the way Mars holds Fana and she remembers the way Zora used to hold her during thunderstorms when they were little. She looks at those two and she sees the little boy in Mars desperate to save his friend, who clearly means the world to him, and she thinks of how Zo had tried to save her.
It's so bittersweet for her to watch that reunion go down, because she's so fucking happy that these two, even if they were their enemies not too long ago, that these two people who clearly love each other dearly that were torn apart so violently and for so long actually got a chance to find each other again... seeing these two people who had endured such similar tragedy find this moment. She can't help but be overjoyed for them.
But gods she wonders if it'll ever be her and Zora.
And it won't be. They don't ever get that dramatic moment of reunion. There's no tears, there's no hug, no I missed you. There's just Zora playing Identity Theft and Aurora having to play along and pretend that she doesn't fucking know this guy when every fiber of her being wants to at the very least acknowledge that it's him, and he's alive.
And then he vanishes after the exams and doesn't show his face around at all until the very last moment. showing up late, even, to the roll call for the roster of Royal Knights, and even then it's not a grand moment of reunion. At the very least, she can let the look of absolute joy and relief, the downright mirth show when he arrives show, but the truth comes out in little more than, "Glad you took off the purple, cause I'm not fuckin' callin' you Xerx, dude... black suits you better anyways."
And it can't go any further than that because Mereo is Right There and Aurora knows better than to piss her off. They have robes to try on, they have orders to receive, they don't have the time or the luxury of a reunion right now. Later, at the dinner, they still don't get that luxury because there's just too many eyes and too many people trying to make conversation. Next thing they know, they're off to war first thing in the morning. They don't even get to know what they've been up to for the last thirteen years before they're raiding the EotMS base.
Like. They never really get that moment of closure that comes from the grand moment of a reunion. They just jump right into slotting back together, figuring out all the ways they've changed as they go. Because neither of them are super prone to emotional outbursts unless the moment's built up to it, and they very carefully tiptoe around it for a long time.
idk man im rambling like hell rn, this was just supposed to be abt her watching mars and fana reunite but zorora always fucking gets away from me. i wish i had the energy to turn this into a cohesive fic rather than just the endless ramblings but like!!! lmfao thats not gonna happen <3
anyways if anyone actually read this much of my mindless rambles, hi~ my blorbos are rotting my brain and i had to Release Them <3 thank u for coming to my tedtalk <3