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Didn't have a computer for a while so I drew these.

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The Christian Flirt November 19, 2012 — *http://enzocortes.com/the-christian-flirt/*

If you are reading this blog, there’s a high chance you are intrigued by the title. You may have thought, “A Christian flirt? Isn’t that an oxymoron?” Yes it is, for a Christian (man) cannot be a flirt.

So what exactly do I mean by a “Christian flirt”? I define a Christian flirt as a guy who plays with a woman’s (and most of the times, women’s) feelings. You’ll often find them singling out a woman, but they’ll also do the same to other women on a different occasion. They are too “friendly” to the point of making women doubt their intentions (some defend that they are just friendly, but deep inside they know that by their actions, a woman already assumes). They are oftentimes touchy as well. They are less evil than their secular counterparts, simply because they don’t arouse sexual interest. Nevertheless, they play with women’s feelings, and that’s a bad thing. Woman, have you encountered a Christian flirt?

But why are there Christian flirts out there? I can think of at least three reasons. First, they don’t know the words of apostle Paul in 1 Timothy 5:2, “[Treat] younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” That includes not playing with a woman’s emotions (see a related discussion here). Second, they are cowards. They don’t have the capacity to be man enough and the courage to risk rejection. So they “test the waters” by “flirting” around. And third, they don’t have godly men who are templates for imitation in the areas of dating and relationships.

Men should treat women with absolute purity. In line with that, they should do something else. In the section below, I have some advice for men.

MEN, BE INTENTIONAL AND RISK REJECTION

In his blog 5 Notes on Dating for Guys, Brandon Andersen writes:

The intentional man repeatedly and constantly goes first and takes on all of the risk of rejection. He always lets the girl know where he stands so she feels secure and isn’t left guessing.

A Christian flirt isn’t intentional and does not risk rejection. He always leaves a woman guessing. In short, he is the exact opposite of the intentional man.

MEN, BE A ONE-WOMAN MAN

A Christian flirt plays with many women’s feelings. In essence, he isn’t a “one-woman man.” In giving dating pointers for women, Mark Driscoll writes:

Church elders are to set the pattern as one-woman men for all God’s men. Therefore, he [the potential husband] should not be the porn guy, the flirt guy, the has-lots-of-female-friends-he-calls-buddies guy, the cheats-on-you-whenever-you-are-dating guy, the dates-multiple-women-at-a-time guy, or the compares-you-to-other-women guy. If he is to be your husband, his heart mind, eyes, wallet, and life need to be solely devoted to you. If you have to keep trying to make him faithful or if you question his loyalty, he is not fit for marriage.1 (Emphasis added)

There is no assurance that the Christian flirt will change once he is married. Therefore, it is hard for a woman to consider him for marriage.

MEN, THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU

If you are guilty of being a Christian flirt, you can start at repentance. And by asking the help of the Holy Spirit, you can treat women as sisters with absolute purity, be intentional, be risk-takers, and be a one-woman man. In Christ, there is hope for you.