@taildbeasts – ( Kurama) continued.
❝ Hatred isn’t new to me. ❞ An understatement. She remembered it well, and could recall it clear as day. The burn that fueled her rage when she had to hide her injuries from her cousins’ assassination attempts. The roar that channeled through her when they struggled to traverse past the sand to Konoha. ❝ But that’s not the worst feeling… Rage was what once fueled me, made me push and push. ❞ Its what motivated her strengths, her training–how she became more a lethal machine then a human being. So much so that the clan head felt she could become a head-candidate. Ha.
❝ The worst of it is the silence. ❞ When her mother was killed, everything shattered. She wasn’t built like a warrior, she was too kind and giving for that and still she tried to fulfill her duties. It was in that moment that Mishil realized her rage… still left her powerless. She’d fought off her cousins, left them each bruised and broken before leaving–their blood coating her bruised fists when she left. ❝ As I roamed, made my way here… I fought anyone who got in my way. ❞ She’d clawed, fought, slashed–the images of her mother and her clan’s abuse still fresh. Yet with each passing day… exhaustion and bitterness seeped in. ❝ Each night when I wasn’t fighting, I felt like howling or screaming. ❞ That’s the worst, isn’t it? Screaming into the void because it hurts to exist. ❝ When I met them—I must have looked monstrous. ❞ She wasn’t sure what to expect, wariness or rejection. However…
Kushina and Minato were kind. So kind and caring, that she found herself crying. Grieving for her loss and pain. ❝ I didn’t ask to be born, why must I be punished? ❞ The words are whispered, knowing full well the fox would hear her. She asked herself that so many times. Her memories filtering through her mind as she spoke, and gradually pushed away in memory of the kinder couple and the precious child she was raising–He was napping in his basket near her. ❝ Hatred is too cruel a name for you fox. Maybe in time, I can help you pick a new one when you’re ready. Something more proper. ❞
KURAMA DOESN’T REPLY TO HER STORY. trenhant maw opens wide in a yawn, the only answer she gets. how many centuries did he pretend to sleep, to be apathetic torwards anything but his own hatred. it’s difficult being a deity, you’re not supposed to have feelings. destruction && rage are blind, so kurama pretends he is too. ( that’s why he hates matatabi the most ) other than being his opposite, nothing escapes her golden eye. matatabi sees his pain, she knows his suffering. WORST OF ALL; she tries to tell him to not be a monster, that he is more. the kyubi used to be more. he used to be whole. he used to be a queen older than most stars. now look at him. a pet, a weapon, a prisoner. ❝ PATHETIC. ❞
he turns is face from her. they’ll see where that disgustingly good will goes when he makes her destroy && kill. wouldn’t it be delightful to find her hands wrapped around that brat’s broken neck. then he’d lay fire to konoha, then then
he’d roam the lands free, his one cause destruction. until he is being caught again. there is no escape to this madness, there is no reasoning. there is no torture device in hell worse than the faint needle of hope during times of despair. he wonders what could have been. . ? if he had been in chomei’s place, an embodiment of joy; in matatabi’s place, love given a voice. but instead, the only face he saw himself in was that pathetic, greedy racoon. kurama wants everyone to hurt like he did, become nothing but hatred like he is, lose everything like he had. he hates the world for enslaving his misery, he hates his siblings for making peace with them no longer being kaguya ootsutsuki, he hates hagoromo for betraying his mother && ripping her into nine pieces.