the guest room - sakusa x reader
a/n: heres some omi angst i think its really good please interact im so so proud of this,,,,, also the flashbacks to the firsts two of those are references to pieces i actually wrote before so the first one is subliminal and the second one is swoon
pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x reader
warnings: toxic relationship!!!, mentions of sex, i said one curse word
Makeup stains littered the silk pillowcase below your head. He’d get so mad about that, if he cared anymore.
He’d notice them the next morning and he’d shake you awake, asking you if you had makeup on in his bed, which was strictly off limits anywhere around the house. You’d say, “it must’ve not come off in the shower” and he’d ask if you showered at all. Then he’d say
“I have one rule, y/n. One. Stop testing my patience.”
And he’d huff and walk away, grabbing his gloves and his mask and he’d take the sheets off the bed and wash them with his clothes and yours in a fury. He’d take a shower afterwards, making you do the same in a different room. He’d make you sleep in the guest room on those nights.
The guest room always had shadows in it. The windows didn’t have curtains, and street lights projected onto trees and bushes right into the room. Every little shake and move and flinch felt like the end of the world in that room.
His patience was slim. You had learned that better than anyone. Uncovering your face to speak to a service worker more clearly made him fume. Forgetting to start the laundry machine changed his world entirely. Changing his routines and schedules was the worst of all though; his anger at that was unmatched.
Sakusa Kiyoomi was a simple man, as he’d say it himself. He has a set number of rules and boundaries and one should never cross them in any way. He was sort of like a video game, the more levels you pass correctly, the closer you’re allowed to get to him–but if you fail, you start all over again. Unlike a video game, though, nothing is clear. It’s not “beat the bad guy” and continue on. It’s walking on eggshells and hot coals and pain for a potential second of cold, piercing water washing between your toes.
You didn’t realize for a while that all of it hurt. There was no real redemption, just pain after hurt after pure fucking angish. It felt like a constant war without a second of reprieve. You always convinced yourself it would get better, but there wasn’t even positivity to go back to. There was nothing you were waiting for–it’s not like you got a taste of it and wanted it back.
Your first date with Omi was at a park. You walked there together; he met you at your home and strolled along with you next to him. The time was around 7 when you left, and the goal was to just watch the sunset and talk. Now, Omi isn’t an open person, so it was mostly failed small talk and confusion. He liked it though and called you back.
Your first kiss with Kiyoomi was in his home. You came over late at night because you were anxious and didn’t know who to turn to. You ran in a worried fury in the general direction of his home, feet being controlled by the deepest part of your brain. He invited you in and made you shower, telling you he didn’t want your germs on his couch. You agreed and, after gallons of lukewarm water and a palmful of tea tree oil shampoo, you were in his arms. It felt nice, sort of. He did kiss you though, and he is a good kisser.
Your first time with Sakusa was planned out, almost entirely. It happened in a shower because he felt most comfortable with that, and you weren’t going to argue. It was soft in a way you didn’t think he could be; intimate. He was kind, for the first time at least. After that he let his need for control come out more and more, even when you were at your most vulnerable. His whispering small complaints and insults in your ear wasn’t nearly as attractive as you led him to believe.
He had more than one rule. You were never allowed to roam the house without showering first, but it became a habit to do so the second you got home. Hardly anything was ever reused, and any bit of trash didn’t end well for anybody. He made extremely sure every little thing was fully disinfected before touching it, and when he felt you were dirty in any way you were meant to sleep in the guest room.
It was always colder in there; he never opened the door to let the heat through. There was a space heater in the corner, but it took a while to work. The sheets in there were rarely used, so they were still somewhat scratchy and uncomfortable. Sakusa always thought you were dirtier than the night before if you slept in the guest room.
You did it for him though. As long as he’s happy. You’d do anything as long as he was happy. He just very clearly wasn’t happy.
Sakusa would snap at you without a second to explain yourself, and no matter how reserved the world thought he was, his anger always clouded that claim in your mind.
He’d always finish something through to the end, and that was always an admirable trait you saw in him. Everything he started had a clear end somewhere, and he typically wanted to win. But if he was so adamant about finishing things, what was his plan with you? Did he want to destroy you beyond return?
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