I see you in every crowd

I'm Tamina Whitman. Love me, hate me, it really makes no difference. | Twenty|

[heirtothethronegondor]

that awkward moment..

[heirtothethronegondor]

“You’ve never really cared what others thought” Ben said, giving a smile, turning to face her, but still steeping away. “You don’t have to stay out my way, I’m done with trying to hate you, trying to keep away. Doesn’t happen in Tree Hill.. Let’s just try and be civil with each other, we can manage that, right?”

[tamina--whitman-blog]

A light chuckle escaped her lips as Bentley turned back to her. It was true, Tamina laughed at people when they thought she cared what they thought. “Yea, it’s becoming a bit of my down fall I’m afraid.” Tamina couldn’t help but grin lightly. “Yea, Tree Hill has a way with that. I don’t know Bentley, haven’t you heard, I’m not civil with most people.” Tamina shrugged, raking her hand through her hair. “I don’t know if I can be just friends, or people who say hi in passing with you... But I can try.”

[heirtothethronegondor]

that awkward moment..

[heirtothethronegondor]

“I never said ‘crazy horrible person’ and I don’t think that.. After everything, I don’t.  It’s too hard, this is. I’m just gonna go” 

[tamina--whitman-blog]

“No, but everyone else does, so who cares.” Tamina sighed, shaking her head as he went to walk away. “I’m sorry. I’ve had a bad day, bad week.. um I didn’t mean to be a bitch. I understand Bentley, it’s too hard. And I’ll try to stay out of your way, really..”

[heirtothethronegondor]

that awkward moment..

[heirtothethronegondor]

“I don’t want to, but I need to say it, about the other night. It was a mistake, okay.. We were both drunk, and stupid. I regret it”

[tamina--whitman-blog]

“You know what Ben, I don’t.. I don’t want to hear it. I get it, I’m a crazy horrible person, and we’re never gonna be what we were. It’s fine, whatever right? Chop it all up to bad judgement.”

[theintelligentgrey-deactivated2]

Then that’s human nature and as long as you try, that’s all you can do. You can recognise that you made a misake and that’s important. Good, cause I don’t like arguing.

[tamina--whitman-blog]

You believe in the good, that’s a rarity. Especially in this town. You wouldn’t win against me anyhow.

[lydiabobscottt]

What happened? What’s wrong?

[tamina--whitman-blog]

Our pathetic excuse for a college.

[neon-vega-blog]

What, you saying I’ll never get another chance to know your name? I’m depressed now–now I really will take a drunken nap in the alleyway. And that’s fun. I normally don’t go drinking alone–going out actually is one few events I don’t feel lonely during, so…and damn straight, it’s not fun.

Nah, I decided just to not go to college. It’s, uh…not really my scene, school work. And that sounds…interesting. If it gets you passing, then I guess it’s a good plan.

[tamina--whitman-blog]

Maybe. Maybe not. Give me a reason. Neither do I, but there’s not always customers to keep me going through the shift, drinks are fun. Poor Xavier, what, ignored at home, at school? Yea, but they tend to be the best stories.

How are you failing if you’re not in college? That was a joke, Xavier.

[youngestevans-deactivated201608]

I’m glad I can make things easy for you. 

[tamina--whitman-blog]

Such a pity, I expected a lot more fight coming from you Evans. It’s sad really.

[mason--kane]

I have been though, that isn’t a lie. 

[tamina--whitman-blog]

You’re not that busy, I left like twenty-seven voicemails.

[heirtothethronegondor]

that awkward moment..

[heirtothethronegondor]

“It is? ..Thanks.. I guess..” 

[tamina--whitman-blog]

“Yea, whatever.”

[tamina--whitman-blog]

We’re flawed - Tamina + Mason

[mason--kane]

Mason wasn’t a saint and he never tried to pretend to be perfect, that’s for sure. He had been through a lot in his life and most of that had given him plenty of trust issues. Because of this, the musician had few people in his life who he really trusted. One of those people, Tamina, was on the urge of breaking that trust. He knew she was anything but perfect, but he always supported her, no matter what. And he always forgive her. But this time, something was different. This time, he wasn’t sure if he could forget and move on. Tamina hurt Kara, his girlfriend. It was no secret that the two girls were enemies, but he wanted them to at least be civil toward one another. He thought Tamina was making an effort when she asked Kara to hang out, but that was the last thing on her mind. For the past few weeks, Mason was avoiding Tamina. Yes, he was really busy with work and getting ready for his album to be released but he was still upset with his friend. However, maybe it was time he stopped acting like a child and at least made an attempt to talk to Tamina. He sighed and pulled out his phone. Just as he was about to call her, he heard a knock on his door. Puzzled, he left his bedroom and opened the front door. “Tamina?” He said barely above a whisper the minute he saw his friend. “You look….come inside.” He’d seen her in distress before, but nothing like this. 

[tamina--whitman-blog]

“You answered.” A small half smile grew upon her lips when she looked up at him standing in the door way, he looked as if he had seen a ghost. Tamina kicked off her spiked heels, slowly getting onto her feet, she stumbled a moment but managed to regain herself, finally stepping foot into Mason’s loft. At this point Tamina was strung out, but surprising was starting to sober up from the alcohol, all too well aware that she smelled of a brewery. Once Tamina was inside the loft, she wasted no time at all to apologize. “Mace, I’m sorry. You’ve supported me in everything, no matter the wrong I’ve done. You-.. you and briar have been my constants, even when I’ve thrown everything I can at you two. I’m so sorry.” Tamina pleaded breathlessly. “Please forgive me Mason. Please. You love her ok? That’s ok, I don’t have a say and I support you. Really, this time I really mean it. Ok? So please, just.. forgive me.” Tamina usually always had her way, and she never had to ask for anything, always getting things handed to her but she was begging Mason, she needed him to forgive her. She steadied herself against the wall, fidgeting with her hands while she awaited him to speak. 

[dailyelena]

[tamina--whitman-blog]

I am constantly torn between wanting to achieve the greatest things imaginable and wanting to completely destroy myself, and yet it is the struggle between these two extremes that prevents me from achieving either of them.

[heirtothethronegondor]

that awkward moment..

“"When you think you left your wallet with your Ex, after doing something stupid”

[tamina--whitman-blog]

Lucky for you, it’s with your sister.

[fyeahshippers]

[tamina--whitman-blog]

We’re flawed - Tamina + Mason

Tamina had spent most of her life making messes that everyone else around her cleaned up, she craved the feeling of attention on herself, she needed the feeling but in the past year she had done a lot more screwing up than she thought possible. She wasn’t sorry that she had no warm pleasant feelings towards her best friend’s girlfriend, but she was extremely sorry that it had hurt one of the only people she tried her hardest not to. With Bentley being back in town, and their sleeping together only for him to go back to ignoring her was heart breaking. She deserved it but everyone was freezing her out, and she just needed her best friend. Tamina had been on a five day binder, no food or sleep, just alcohol, and anything else to make the party more fun and outside Mason’s loft was the last place she expected to end up but she needed to see her best friend. Tamina no longer had the energy to fight with anyone, she had no energy left in her. Her knuckles lightly knocked at the bottom of the door, as she sat herself with her back against the siding of the building. It felt like she had been knocking for hours, and at this point she wasn’t positive if Mason was even home.

[youngestevans-deactivated201608]

Yeah, lost what? My dignity? I never had any to begin with. 

[tamina--whitman-blog]

See what I mean, I don’t even have to lift a finger. You do it all for me.

[theintelligentgrey-deactivated2]

People make mistakes all the time and I don’t think that reflects how you are as a person. The best way you can learn is through your mistakes. I don’t want to go into that right now.

[tamina--whitman-blog]

And what about when the person keeps making the mistakes? What then Ethan? Fine, I’ll respect that, normally I wouldn’t but I’m too tired to argue with you.