there's more to everything

[tansdiary]

"Oh, what I have made of myself. It's all my fault, all my fault..."

—february twenty four, twenty twenty six // it's no longer theirs now, it's all mine, all mine, yes, only and only mine.

[tansdiary]

Full of desires, I am starving ... my soul terribly aches ... cries and yearns ... to drink the winds ... to devour the stars ...

—february twenty four, twenty twenty six

[tansdiary]

i long to know how it feels to be alive...

—january thirty, twenty twenty six

[tansdiary]

"I don't know anymore..."

—january thirty, twenty twenty six

[tansdiary]

unable to sleep.

[tansdiary]

"to seek her often felt like stepping into a forest enveloped by an eerie fog... i couldn't precisely see who she really is or where she is, but my soul ached to grasp her mystifying spirit..."

—december one, twenty twenty five

[tansdiary]

the ever-changing sky still feels so familiar...

—november thirty, twenty twenty five

[tansdiary]

haunt or be haunted.

—september thirty, twenty twenty five

[soracities]

when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”

[softspringsolace]

when andrea gibson said “i suppose i love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.” & when ellen bass said “to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it”

[typewriter-worries]

when james baldwin said, “this is why one must say yes to life and embrace it wherever it is found-and it is found in terrible places; nevertheless, there it is;”

[tansdiary]

i suppose the only thing that keeps me alive is my fascination for life.

[tansdiary]

the thought of death kills me!

—june twenty five, twenty twenty five

[tansdiary]

i wish.

[tansdiary]

my mind is both a home and a horror house.

—january three, twenty twenty five

[tansdiary]

Whose life am i living? Am i living at all?

—may twenty one, twenty twenty five

[tansdiary]

note to self:

fascinated with the subject of astrology, i must try to learn more about it.

[tansdiary]

will escape into a book now

—may ten, twenty twenty five

[tansdiary]

the cold windy nights, my beloved.

—may five, twenty twenty five

[tansdiary]

to taste death while being alive is somewhat divine, perhaps some blissful blessing in devilish disguise.

—april twenty eight, twenty twenty five