Tiny Tardigrades

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." -Winnie the Pooh

[tardigradesinspace]

friendly reminder: if someone touches you in a way you don’t want, MAKE A SCENE!

[tardigradesinspace]

the most painful thing to do in life is reread one of your old cringey fics that the past you thought were works of art.

[tardigradesinspace]

I love chatting (harassing) with my friends on social media. It brings me a joy that I can only compare to slapping a bad bad boy (the president)

[mutualize]

Don't kill yourself, please.

[mutualize]

If you’re suffering from depression and are looking for a sign to not go through with ending your life, this is it. This is the sign. We care.

If you see this on your dash, reblog it. You could save a life.

[ooppo]

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

[ooppo]

Not fucking really

[tardigradesinspace]

I’m armed with candy and a weighted blanket but the guy I’m fighting has beat me many times before. Wish me luck.

[i-am-a-fish]

I've been trying to get my PS3 pregnant for the past few weeks and it's finally looking good!!!!!

I've been trying to preserve my old PlayStation 3 (it has been overheating and dying and exploded a little bit once) data by transferring it into a new ps3 that is less likely to overheat and die, I've been at this for a good while and I had to get a lot of parts and such to get everything working and I've been doing surgery on a grape for the past few days, but it's finally looking like it's all going to work!! I'm very excited

[darkaviarymc]

Um. Excuse me. There's a LOT to unpack here, but what do you mean your ps3 exploded a little bit?

[i-am-a-fish]

it made sparks!

[tardigradesinspace]

my vacuum did that before it really exploded. like, all the fur i vacuumed minutes before got thrown into my face exploded. be careful fish.

[tardigradesinspace]

nevermind, I just saw the update. live long and prosper ps3 data!

[0xeyedaisy]

Thanks tumblr

[tardigradesinspace]

@cjd134340

You and me buddy. You and me.

[i-am-a-fish]

I've been trying to get my PS3 pregnant for the past few weeks and it's finally looking good!!!!!

I've been trying to preserve my old PlayStation 3 (it has been overheating and dying and exploded a little bit once) data by transferring it into a new ps3 that is less likely to overheat and die, I've been at this for a good while and I had to get a lot of parts and such to get everything working and I've been doing surgery on a grape for the past few days, but it's finally looking like it's all going to work!! I'm very excited

[darkaviarymc]

Um. Excuse me. There's a LOT to unpack here, but what do you mean your ps3 exploded a little bit?

[i-am-a-fish]

it made sparks!

[tardigradesinspace]

my vacuum did that before it really exploded. like, all the fur i vacuumed minutes before got thrown into my face exploded. be careful fish.

[ozempicofficial]

[pukicho]

Like a thief in the night, you slither, hungry

[dialgafanxd]

what does this mean??? 😭

[pukicho]

You tell me, snake

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

fun thing about getting older as a dedicated lifelong non-athlete: i'm as fast and limber as I've ever been! which is not very. technically I'm in the best shape of my life. that is to say, middling

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

actually going from deeply-unwell-teenager to reasonably-functional-adult has inured me to the Common Laments of Aging:

"I can't run as fast as I used to" running is sweaty & gross hard pass

"i miss having stamina" you had STAMINA???

"ugh back pain" my inner teenager-with-scoliosis-and-mysterious-bone-pain is unphased

"ugh neck pain" do most people not spend the majority of their lifecycle hunched over screens from puberty onwards? if not that's my bad

"I used to be able to pull all-nighters" chugging energy drinks and depriving your brain of sleep to perform miserable labor is fucked up actually, and shouldn't be normalizd in or outside of college. given half a chance corporations would have your 60-year-old aunt hopped up on caffeine pills retouching powerpoints at 4am. thank fuck we're not expected to be 21 forever

"I used to be so flexible" why

"my metabolism 😭" kill your inner fatphobe, enjoy the comfy extra padding/circulation, buy a cool new wardrobe, and go forth, eat well, and GIVE NARY A FUCK.

"I miss having young knees" that one's valid

In conclusion my personal fitness goals remain, as always: to be able to carry multiple grocery bags, and go for a nice little walk (not jog!) around the neighborhood.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

let me rant for a minute about how fucked up it is that "fitness" gets pushed first on teenagers as 1) school sports/athletics (which cause a statistically enormous amount of lifelong injuries) and then as 2) instagram gym culture aka being skinny+muscular for aesthetics. we pretend this is what "health" looks like, and it's not.

fitness & excercise should be about improving your day-to-day life. which means fitness needs vary a lot by individual, age, medical conditions etc. here are just a few examples of what practical fitness goals can look like:

stretches/exercises to reduce pain in daily life (e.g. carrying groceries up a flight of stairs without being sore the next day)

increase mobility (e.g. walking around a museum with fewer rest periods)

increase stamina (e.g. running to catch a bus)

increase muscle mass e.g. to prepare for your 60s/70s, bc apparently that stuff sticks around and makes getting older waaaaay easier

increase balance/flexibility to prevent falls

build/preserve bone density to prevent osteoporosis

general injury prevention, bc that shit sucks

basic maintenance, to help preserve a lifestyle that works for you

screw this anti-aging bullshit. no one needs to be a professional athlete or permenantly 21. what we deserve is to be able to age comfortably and live long, fulfilling lives. fitness is a tool, not a moral duty. it should work for you, not vice versa.

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[cjd134340]

Little ref sheet idk i got it from my friend and i liked it oK!

[tardigradesinspace]

this is my baby.

[homunculus-argument]

I want a pair of those tall-ass platform goth boots, but ones that have retractable roller skates inside, so any time I don't vibe with a situation I can just kick those beauties out and gracefully glide the the fuck outta there.

[jovialgnomejpeg]

does anyone else feel kind of slutty refilling soap bottles

[skoomabong]

[jovialgnomejpeg]

[jovialgnomejpeg]

the soap that inspired it all

[littlemousling]

[tardigradesinspace]

I hate having responsibilities. What happened to happily frolicking in a field?