he’s prob gonna die first
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
Today's Document
Stranger Things

pixel skylines
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo
occasionally subtle
h
Game of Thrones Daily
Not today Justin
Sweet Seals For You, Always
noise dept.
Claire Keane

roma★
Misplaced Lens Cap
hello vonnie
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
$LAYYYTER

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@tealjay8
he’s prob gonna die first
idk how to play checkers but i bet i could effectively fake my way through a game
yk how some men think they could land a plane? I have full confidence that given 24 hr notice i could learn any part in a play and do a half decent job understudying
new drinking game
take a shot every time Dorian Gray’s lips are described
little matchbook notebooks
“and don’t you guys get paid more than minimum?”
i get paid minimum wage and fifty cents an hour to
decide the line at which a customers complaints become reportable harassment
give my coworker ideas to ease his cramps
and scrub dried bbq sauce
and smile
freeze and sweat
to crouch under the counter and eat a side mac while my coworker covers register
to make weird noises at back of house
paid to blow my nose in a napkin and wish i could’ve found a cover
to politely chuckle at customers jokes and snort laugh at my coworkers jokes
to wonder if i’m a good or service
to cook clean and serve
to bag orders and up my emotions
to pee at convienent times
to run to the back to add a line to a poem on my phone
to count down hours and minutes
to turn a blind eye to water cups full of sprite and my managers explicit text messages
to smell like rosa sauce and tobacco
to contemplate picking up smoking to get an extra break
to clean toilets and restock napkins
paid to change my tampon in a bathroom i should’ve cleaned better
and to spill parsley and drop dishes and break two different vacuums
paid to calculate how many hours that tank of gas was
paid to miss birthdays and be late to christmas
to ask my friends to schedule hang outs two weeks in advance
to come straight from class
or a previous shift
or from huddling over the trash can
to debate with my coworkers if spit or trash juice is worse to get on your face
to give and receive compliments
to run out of rice crispies and patience
to bite my tounge and wonder if blood or fresca sauce tastes more bitter
paid minimum wage and fifty cents to wonder if that’s the worth of an hour of my life
i don’t know things 80% of the time, but the 20% i do i’m really proud of myself :)
in the wise words of my predecessors “this is akwo taco”
if i were roadkill would you swerve or hit me to remind me prometheus style of my death?
i lost my voice yesterday which was hard bc there’s where my ✨good vibes✨ and 😎fun humor😎 come from
Tealjay.
Get off tumblr.
AND GO TO BED
some people recreationally use cough syrup. i use it competitively.
im my own biggest fan
my cheese cylinder tasted like shit but i regret ridding myself of it and all that we could’ve been
oh this is brilliant it’s like spam texting my boyfriend but without the getting ignored
if i put a strawberry shortcake sticker on my essay will that trick my english teacher into liking me