🥀💧 @teardew - Tumblr Blog

Sometimes, asking for donations on Tumblr feels like shouting into the void, with nothing left but tagging people in the hope that someone will notice. The sense of despair grows with every ignored plea, like drowning while screaming with no one to hear. If you can help, please consider donating—every little bit makes a difference.

birlikten-kuvvet-dogar

19,920 / 25,000 EUR (80%)

As of 1/4 14:33 (UTC+3)

Vetted! This fundraiser is promoted by gaza-evacuation-funds

im sorry for the concern my previous posts caused. i feel bad about causing unnecessary worry but im too ashamed to reply or answer anyone. im not fine but im still here

26 years is enough please everyone says its too young but it was already enough after 10 15 18 22 25 its been more than enough iv been trapped inside myself for nearly 3 decades its enough please i dont want to keep doing this i dont want to go back being trapped in a ward or a hospital or a house i spent all my life trying to escape cages that caged my cage like a fucking matryshoka of misery i know its selfish to ask someone not to giv a fuck about me to help but i cant think of anything else i cant do anything but cry and beg anyomore i know its fucking pathetic but please everything hurts i feel like im drowning in open air i just want to be free i just want it to stop hurting

every day i wake up and feel like im dying i stay awake wishing it would end yet every night i cant ever make myself fall sleep fast enough i do as much unconscious as when im awake i cant escape i cant do anything i dont know why im so desperate to be asleep when theres no reprieve in my dreams i cry more frequently than i eat i cant breath without a semblance of pain i know isnt real i want to leave but i cant let go im ungrateful for all the love that sustains me simultaneously more than i can do with yet feels like its not enough to make me stay but here i still am why how many more meds do i need to cycle through how many more failed and canceled sessions how many more reassurances of love and support that ill fail to honor how many more prayers made to an empty sky i still beg from how many more responsibilities foisted onto others while i become more and more of a gaping hole of nothing never ending how many more days how many more months how many more years how much longer until they cant remember why theyv thrown all their love into me in the first place i cant remember who i was before this i cant remember if this was all i ever was im sick of feeling this im sick of thinking this im sick of talking about this im sick i cant do anything else im trying im trying it doesnt matter enough im trying its not working im not trying fast enough i cant get up i know i can why cant i do it why cant i matter enough to myself im trying i cant care anymore im tired of hurting so much over a life that doesnt matter to me someone something please giv me the strength to get up and leave i cant keep going i cant keep staying i cant keep caring somebody eelse please im sorry its not working i dont want my loved ones to keep trying with me when i cant try at all im sorry im not a good enough person to be better someone else who doesnt care about me pleasae giv me anything to make it stop i dont want to be trapped inside myself anymore

killy-deactivated20241228

it really hurts me to see so many gazans asking us for help, though that's through no fault of their own. they've been forced to use a social media site that they're probably not familiar with (because tumblr has kind of faded out of popular consciousness), to interact with us in a second language, to distinguish themselves from the scammers who are taking advantage of genocide, and to ask strangers for help. i don't think there are any cultures where it's easy to ask for help like this, but i'm intimately familiar with how humiliating it can be in arab culture. please be kind, gracious and helpful to the gazans in your inbox. this is a desperate time for them, and in addition to the physical danger inflicted by "israel", the prices of basic resources in gaza are extremely high due to scarcity, and those that manage to escape to egypt are financially exploited by landlords there and have an extremely difficult time finding work due to their unofficial status as refugees. these families will continue to need our help and i hope we can all continue to provide it to the best of our ability.

killy-deactivated20241228

masterpost of palestinian fundraisers

operation olive branch fundraiser spreadsheet

#txt

As far as im concerned your yan wushi is how he's supposed to be. The ageism sucks so bad in danmei as someone who is a shizun lover FFFFFFFFFF very random but have you read sha po lang? If you like bastardy mischievous kinda old men, you might enjoy gu yun. Canonically he's like late 20s in the book but as far as im concerned since it's not xianxia he'll get his salt and peppers in and then he'll look SO GOOD

thank u for supporting my vision ..... shelley told me not to believ the hype and i trust her also she likes it so thats all that matter 2 me .... also no ! iv heard abt it before but idk what its about ... u r so baiting me with the promise of old men but im still trying to chip my way thru the locked tomb series and dungeon meshi also my brain has getting fucked uprecently so idek if i can ever get thru those 2 😭 sorry

#anon

Just wanna let u know me and my friend who are danmei fans love ur buff jock xie lian!! Your art is great, hope you are doing well

THANK UUUU im happy u like him !!! damn i drew them like what 4 yrs ago i should draw him agn ... i miss him ...............

#anon

this is really embarrassing to ask but. If your commissioner shelley is ok with it, i noticed that you have 2 pictures they commissioned from you of yan wushi. Would you be ok with mashing them together like how you do your art (foreground and background) and put it on inprint so i can purchase it? Its ok if you're not comfortable with that though! Sorry if this is a stupid and silly question

HI sorry i compeltely forgot to reply to this ask 😭 i dont mind and i dont think tis embarrassing. my friend said its a-ok but i hav a hard time imagining the composition u hav in mind. could u dm me with like. an edit? even if its crudely done lmao i giv u permission to do so i can hav a better idea of what u mean so i can make an actual edit for u !

#anon

sayruq

i was away this week and didnt hav access to my laptop so i couldnt upload this on sunday the 28th u____u only 5 pages this time since i was out of town hopefully next weeks sketchbook post is not so late

contains

a page of my vampire or at this point just some blood drinking man eating monster oc lmao

archeswan [honkai star rail] redesign because this video rondo across countless kalpas drives me insane i dont even play mobile games

close up of previous for my face headcanon of them

moshang doodle [but mostly just sqh]

hs2 vriska sketch. lanky girl

#dew.png #what it says on the tin

♥️⛓️🩸 commission of my vampire sha hualing for @/lukewarmspinach

#dew.png #sha hualing #scum villain's self saving system #svsss #mxtx #digi #fanart #24

im gonna try to post sketchbook pgs every sunday n_____n other than that iv posted 2 process gifs of older art since the 1st post

also aiming to wrap up this round of commissions this week and slots will be posted to claim on patreon first ... after the next batch im raising my prices because uhm i take 500 yrs to draw and my wrists will fall off for real at the rate im going lmao

this weeks post is 10 pages of older unposted art and newer sketches btwn coms containing

a vampire oc from 2021

full art of alex ying wei com + background

shen qiao redraw of official art

second pass at a terezi commission

a shang qinghua from 2022

a figure study of shang qinghua fanning himself

another shang qinghua figure study

2 shang qinghua face explorations

moshang doodle

#dew.png #what it says on the tin