Dissilusioned and Bemused

[technicallymillenial]

Anyone on tumblr looking for a job? Heyoo.

[breadedsinner]

Uh hey quick question what the FUCK does that mean?

[sixweekcure4dreams]

Must not expect to get paid for their work and must be happy to be loyal to us until they die.

[thesaviorofmisbehavior]

Must not expect to be treated like a human being

[technicallymillenial]

Must not expect health insurance, or benefits of any kind. Also, must not expect overtime pay working 70 hour weeks.

[technicallymillenial]

...

[LinkedIn]

Okay.  I cannot begin to describe to you in words just how monumentally angry these two comments make me. The first is your standard old-person spiel of garbage yelling about our parenting and completely misses the hundreds of socioeconomic factors leading to the hideous unemployment rate among the millennial cohort.  It also ignores the fact that the job-hunt is modernized for the worst, because they’re an ignorant jackass.

The second is clearly racist and unproductively reductive, and takes the wrong thing away from why wages “lowered.”  They never lowered they stagnated, and nobody has forced employers to adjust wages for inflation and cost of living.

God I hate humans sometimes.

[technicallymillenial]

please don’t name your jobs like this

if you do everyone hates you.

[technicallymillenial]

Scrummy Scrum

So, I’ve been in an active job hunt for well over a year now because the job market is a) cancerous and b) simultaneously too fast and too slow to serve anyone looking for a job.  I’ve seen my share of weird, goofy, horrible excuses for English that say absolutely nothing in hundreds of words. There is one particular job that is seared into my memory for just how utterly, terribly weird and scammy it sounds despite being wholly legitimate.

 I speak of the Scrum Master.

 The Scrum Master, from what I can gather, is some kind of software development lead, but it sounds like some kind of corporate freaking cult:

  Why are there ceremonies. Why are you referring to software dev stuff as ceremonies. I’m worried!!!

All of this falls under an Agile development framework, and looking these things up only gets you more and more articles full of industry jargon, completely indecipherable to outsiders. Just look at the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrum_(software_development) wikpedia entry, for Pete’s sake.

 Scrum of Scrums. Large-Scale Scrum.  Scrum has to be the absolute fastest example of a word becoming utterly meaningless by repetition I’ve ever seen. This is actually something of an old term, originating in the 80s, but I think it’s somehow become even more goofy sounding over time.  There are certifications to become a Scrum Master. Why you have to have an institute give you a certification to be a project lead, I don’t know.  I’m a writer, I got out of programming as a tiny college babby. I don’t want to go back.  

[technicallymillenial]

A brief introduction

So I’m starting this blog/tumblr/whatever you want to call it to accomplish a few things. First and foremost is to have a place where I can write my thoughts into semi-coherent articles that I can use as writing samples professionally.  Second is to have a place to vent my frustrations (of which there are many) with life after college as a writer. There will be mocking of job postings for their nonsensical writing style.  There will be observations of issues millennials (Who I am somehow a part of despite being just shy of 30??) have to put up with in culture and the work place. There will probably be cat reblogs, because who doesn’t like a good cat reblog?

See you soon.